"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Emerson

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Clean House

A couple days ago, the hubby returned from deployment. In preparation, I cleaned house top to bottom. Even Neicy Nash would be proud. Speaking of, that Clean House show has become quite an addiction of mine since the hubby was gone. I'd put it on, mostly as background noise, as I cooked dinner or cleaned up. The idea of changing life through altering your space is awesome to me.

So, all my cleaning got me thinking...if I clean this much when my earthly love comes home, how much more should I be cleaning my "house" in preparation for the creator of the Universe?

"In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.
Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."
2 Timothy 2:20-22 NIV
A new year approaching means a new start, a new chance, a new clean house. Our Father is coming eventually and the question will be, how well did we prepare for Him? How much grit and grime did we try to expel from our lives before His arrival? Everyday I find a new filthy corner that I need to get rid of. Everyday another dust bunny pops up. And everyday I am given another chance to clean house.
Here's to making ourselves instruments for noble purposes...
Until next time,
-C.
And a very Merry Christmas to all my blog readers! May God's peace, presence, mercy and love shower you this holiday season!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

False teachers

I recently heard a Francis Chan sermon on false teachers. That and just my quiet time has got me thinking. I guess I always thought evil would be easily recognized, but now I am starting to think that perhaps it is not.

Check out 2 Peter chapter 2 to see what I mean:

False Teachers and Their Destruction
1But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them—bringing swift destruction on themselves. 2Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. 3In their greed these teachers will exploit you with stories they have made up. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping.
4For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to hell,[a] putting them into gloomy dungeons[b] to be held for judgment; 5if he did not spare the ancient world when he brought the flood on its ungodly people, but protected Noah, a preacher of righteousness, and seven others; 6if he condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah by burning them to ashes, and made them an example of what is going to happen to the ungodly; 7and if he rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the filthy lives of lawless men 8(for that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard)— 9if this is so, then the Lord knows how to rescue godly men from trials and to hold the unrighteous for the day of judgment, while continuing their punishment.[c] 10This is especially true of those who follow the corrupt desire of the sinful nature[d] and despise authority.

Bold and arrogant, these men are not afraid to slander celestial beings; 11yet even angels, although they are stronger and more powerful, do not bring slanderous accusations against such beings in the presence of the Lord. 12But these men blaspheme in matters they do not understand. They are like brute beasts, creatures of instinct, born only to be caught and destroyed, and like beasts they too will perish.

13They will be paid back with harm for the harm they have done. Their idea of pleasure is to carouse in broad daylight. They are blots and blemishes, reveling in their pleasures while they feast with you.[e] 14With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning; they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greed—an accursed brood! 15They have left the straight way and wandered off to follow the way of Balaam son of Beor, who loved the wages of wickedness. 16But he was rebuked for his wrongdoing by a donkey—a beast without speech—who spoke with a man's voice and restrained the prophet's madness.

17These men are springs without water and mists driven by a storm. Blackest darkness is reserved for them. 18For they mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful desires of sinful human nature, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error. 19They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. 20If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. 21It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. 22Of them the proverbs are true: "A dog returns to its vomit,"[f]and, "A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud."

This verse is the kicker for me:

"For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve." 2 Corinthians 11:13-15

Alright, I know it was a lot of scripture but bear with me on this one. Here is what we know about false teachers. This kind of evil, the perpetuating of lies through the use of scripture, God or His son's name comes from within. This is the kind of evil that says, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer..." This kind scares me more than anything. But, before I jump to that ocean of fear, we have to digest this, pick it apart. Let's figure out some characteristics of false teachers:

1.) They are sneaky. Look back at 2 Peter 2:1. It says, "they secrectly introduce..." their lies. Best way to guard against this sneak attack: know God's word.
2.) Many will follow after them. Check out verse 2 in 2 Peter. These guys will have a following, they won't be as recognizable as you might think. In fact, there is a certain very popular, book writing, tv evanglist that I think may in fact be a false teacher just based on some of the things that have come out of his mouth and into interviews and preaching that contradict scripture. In fact, he has one of the biggest churches in America. Best way to guard against being a lemming in this lie: know God's word.
3.) They are exploitative to their own gain. We've all heard the stories of famous church leaders who pled to unsuspecting poor to make financial donations and then in turn used the money for their own personal gain. Best way to guard against being exploited: know God's word.
4.) They are bold and arrogant blasphemers who have left God's path to follow the path of destruction. Sometimes the louder a person is or the more intimidating they are, the less people will question them if the words they speak are untrue. Best way to steer clear from this intimidation: know God's word.
5.) They are headed for destruction. In our media obcessed society, false prophets get exposed and get exposed in a big way. I can recall story after story of these teachers who spoke twisted versions of God's truth and used it for their own personal gain or hid an underbelly of sin that makes even the most hedonistic cringe. Best way to keep away from being a part of the wreakage: know God's word.

The verse in 2 Corinthians really prepares me. What we know about Satan is that he likes to sing that song, "Anything you can do, I can do better..." except we all know he can't. But, he sure does get an E for Effort. He will take anything God creates, any good and make a seemingly exact replica that is completely the opposite of God's intention. So, he can create what seems to be a mirror image of a Christ follower, yet when we look a little harder, we can find that it nothing more than a servant of evil. This has to keep us vigilent more than anything. We can't only be prepared for the ones who outwardly we can identify as Satan's pawns. It is the ones he hides in a cloak of words and actions that make us believe that the person is a Christian. Those are the ones we need to be on neighborhood watch for.

And, in case you didn't quite get it, the only way to be a part of this watching and exposing of those who are false teachers is to: KNOW GOD'S WORD! You can't expose a lie, if you don't know the truth. We have to be on the lookout in our own churches, in our own communities for people who just want to lead us astray. Fearful, we are not because we know that God is bigger than any man, and we know that this false teaching will ultimately lead to ruin. But, aware, we must be...

Here's to the ultimate truth detector...
Until next time,
-C.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

One thing.

I have been in such a season of busyness right now. I've been gone on trips from Thanksgiving until last Monday, part of that time included planning three parties (two parties for my mom's employees and their families=400 people, and then a gaggle of fourteen year old girls for my sister's birthday) and a business meeting for my mom. Then, followed it up with leading a Bible Study and a HUGE women's event that I helped with at our church. Not to mention Christmas is creep, creep, creeping up on me. The chaos has literally worn me out. My body feels like I ran the Marine Corps Marathon or something more brutal.

Busyness in itself is not a sin, but it can become one if we aren't careful. Consider the story of Mary and her sister, Martha. These two sisters were having Jesus himself in their home. One sister, Martha, busily prepares a meal and becomes quite annoyed as her sister just sits there at Christ's feet. Here is how Jesus responds at Martha's bitterness:

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
-Luke 10:41-42 NIV
I get worried and upset about many things when only one thing is needed. I am involved in a lot of ministries and sometimes the preparation for having Jesus come will take over the time that was meant to be spent at His feet. I am a Martha. I really don't want to be, but when it comes down to it, I am. Now, Martha had some good qualities too, don't get me wrong. She was very practical in her thinking. Jesus was in her house and surely, He would want to eat. She was trying to make sure that happened.
Yet, somewhere amidst the chopping and the grating, she lost the whole point of it all. I have really started to see how many of us Christians get bogged down with the details and miss the whole point of it all. Churches and people fight and bicker over all sorts of things that don't matter from paint colors to which way to pass the offering plate when Jesus is saying only one thing matters: me.
Sometimes it is hard to find the one thing that matters in the middle of doing a lot of good things. Like I said, I am involved in a lot of ministries and sometimes I can be doing those things without a single thought about the why. It happens. But, somehow in seasons of busyness, we need to stop and ask God, "what is the one thing you have for me?"
I know He is calling me to that right now. Slowing down and figuring out the one thing. How about you? Especially in the middle of the holidays, have you found yourself completely losing focus on why we celebrate Christmas?
Here's to being more Mary than Martha...
Until next time,
-C.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving...

"You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God."
- 2 Corinthians 9:11
This year, more than any other, I have so much to be thankful for:
1.) I am thankful first and foremost to my God, His strength, His love, and His continuing grace, mercy and compassion.
2.) I am thankful for every day that my husband stays safe. In the chaotic climate of our world, in his dangerous line of work, each day is such a precious gift.
3.) I am thankful for a rambunctious toddler, who may sometimes drive me a little nutty, but everyday shows me the importance of a joyful spirit. I am thankful that each day she is healthy and unlike the countless children around the world, is well fed, well cared for and has a fighting chance in this crazy mixed up place.
4.) I am thankful for a family, who in spite of some of our greatest trials this past year, remains standing.
5.) I am thankful for the most amazing friends. Seriously. Most people get 1 or 2 people in their lifetime that they can call on if they need something or need to talk. I have dozens of friends like that. The kind who will do anything you ask when you live hours from family and who ultimately, become your family. I would name them all, but it would be too exhaustive of a list.
6.) I am thankful for the challenges God has given me lately. Challenges through trials. Challenges in what He has been teaching me. Challenges in what I've been reading. All forcing me to decide if I am going to really live this Christian thing out to the end or not. I am thankful that I have learned to consider it pure joy...
7.) I am thankful for a country where I don't have to fear my personal safety, that my children will have enough to eat, that I will be persecuted for my religion, that I have clean drinking water, that I will be a statistic with a deadly disease, or anything else. Instead, my fears are so frivolous and stupid, which is a bit of a curse, but it is helping me to learn to keep perspective. I am thankful for the one percent of Americans who choose to step up and keep this country from facing those fears. I am thankful for the one percent of American families who live with an ache for six months or more as their loved one is gone.
8.) I am thankful for each day, a new start, a new beginning, a new morning of mercies. Each day I have a new opportunity to try again: try to be a better mother, try to be a better wife, try to be a better human.
Right now, I am sitting in a downtown condo in Charleston, SC in what has proven to be the most un-traditional Thanksgiving we have ever had, but I am so thankful. I have such a heart of gratitude in spite of not having my best friend next to me, in spite of not being with all of my family, in spite of the tremendous amount of change and pain I've gone through this year, in spite of it all. When you can sit with a heart filled gratefulness in spite of everything that isn't going right in your life, you realize the truth about God's grace and mercy. We don't deserve anything. We deserve a whole lot of punishment for all the ways we fail. Yet, we all have so much given to us, even when our lives seem in the pit, we have so much more than so many. We just have to take the time and be grateful. Most importantly, we need to do it more than once a year, we need to do it daily.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Here's to gratefulness....
Until next time,
-C.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Your Hands....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlL8LayF0uw

Your Hands by JJ Heller
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

Here's to His hands...

Until next time,
-C.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Pure Joy

Alright, this post is coming to you well after midnight and running on pure Coca-Cola after a 10 o'clock chug during a chick flick. See what happens when the hubby is away. Let's see if I can keep it short and oh so sweet like that caffinated beverage that I am going to hate tomorrow morning when a certain bubbly two year old yells, "MOMMY!!!!"

I'll try to keep it more His words than mine tonight because mine are wayyyyy too hyped up on High Fructose Corn syrup and Carmel color (plus some phosphoric acid....seriously?!?!?!?)

So, I am doing a refresher course in James in my quiet time. Why? Because I love it...and it was written by Christ's own brother. Just learned that....always thought it was the apostle James. Anyway:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
James 1:2-12 NIV
So this is the part that keeps hitting me between the eyes. Here I've been all woe is me, look at my sacrifices as a military wife, I've had such a difficult lot as of late, etc. etc. etc. But, perhaps my seeming misfortune makes me a lot more blessed than the girl with the perfect family, a husband with a perfect work schedule, and a world where everything goes right. It's a whole heck of a lot harder to get this Christian thing in that life. It's a whole heck of a lot harder to understand Christ's suffering in that life. It's a whole heck of a lot harder to understand the need and urgency of having a savior. I know because that used to be my life.
Now, if I just described you, don't think I am knocking you or your faith in any way, shape or form. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! All I am saying is that perhaps a life riddled with trials and difficulties is more of a blessing than a curse, which totally goes against our human eye view. I mean I've felt like for over a year now, I've been standing in the middle of a rough, choppy surf and every time I stand up, I get knocked down again by a wave. But, for the first time, I've figured out that it is pure joy. Pure joy that with each wave, I keep persevering and getting back up. Pure joy that eventually this season of trials will pass and I will be so mature and so complete, that the next waves will only make me step back a little, rather than to fall over. Then, after that, the next waves will just pass me and I will remain firmly rooted.
In one years time, I have gone through a suicide attempt of a loved one, my parent's messy divorce, moving, buying a house, two deployments, getting a new job, a couple of health scares with myself and my child, and a partridge in a pear tree....Consider it pure joy.
Honestly, looking back I keep saying there is no way I can consider it pure joy, but I do. I do because I finally get a lot of things I never got before. There is a lot more joy to be considered, but I am getting there.
Here's to pure joy...
Until next time,
-C.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Falling down

So, I think it only appropriate to follow up my previous blog with a little, or perhaps alot, of grace. It is so easy to turn conviction into condemnation and we my friends, don't have to live under that oppression.

Have you ever fallen down hard? Messed something up so bad that you wondered how you or a relationship could ever recover? Completely taken an opportunity to show God's love and mercy and threw it out the window? Have you ever totally blown your witness?

I have. In big and small ways. I think my entire high school career I took a chance to bring others to Christ and threw it away for acceptance of a whole lot of lost people. There are family members I have yet to speak Christ's name to. I have gossiped when I should have stopped a conversation. I have said things to people that I thought they nor I could ever recover from. I've broken trusts, ignored hurts, caused pain, and made the words "Christ follower" a punchline to a not so funny joke. When someone has hurt me, I have lashed out instead of heaping coals of kindness on their head. I've blown it. Big time. Repeatedly. It is so easy to take those times and go into a place of self-condemnation, to say the words to our souls that Satan is just sitting on the sidelines and hoping we will say: you are not worth it, you are hopeless, you are a loser, you've failed, again.

The great thing is that we are not sinners who sometimes are righteous. In Christ, we are the righteous, who sometimes sin.


Don't believe me? Take a look:
"This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."
-Romans 3:22-24 NIV
Do you see that? If you are a Christ follower you are always righteous by God's grace through Jesus.
I am pretty clumsy. I once fell down the last 4 steps when visiting at my mom's house because for some reason, I just thought the staircase ended. It really hurt, to say the least. But besides a bruised backside, it was an ego that smarted worse as my mom rushed to see what had happen to her 27 year old daughter who was lying on the floor in the foyer. Just fell down the stairs, ma. Why? Because I just missed a couple.
Sometimes we miss a couple of steps and land hard on our rumps. We missed doing the things we should of. We missed saying the things we should have. We just miss it.
But, before we start focusing on the fall we just took, we better start looking at the One to help us up:

"If the LORD delights in a man's way,
he makes his steps firm;
though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand."
- Psalm 37:23-24 NIV
We are imperfect beings trying to imitate a perfect God. Inevitably, we are going to stumble. We are going to miss a few steps, but God is going to hold our hand and keep us from crashing and burning.
Sometimes, we can wear ourselves out by trying to live out this Christian thing with these imperfect natures. We can try to keep feeling as though we are "good enough" by the amount of good deeds we do or the number of people we bring to Christ. Now, we know faith without deeds is dead, but the truth of Christ is that we are not saved by deeds. We don't have to earn our righteousness through always finding the next step. We can fall down sometimes.

"You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope."
-Galatians 5:4 NIV
It is only through faith and the Holy Spirit that we are going to ever get these broken down vessels to find the right steps because frankly, in our natural selves, it just isn't in us.
Have you blown it big time? Are you holding on to your past missteps? Thank God we don't serve a god who scores us based on our own efforts! Confess your missteps, humbly apologize to those you've hurt, and then give the rest to Him. Let yourself off the hook. Don't think you are somehow bigger than God by holding on to something He has already let go of.
My prayer for each of you reading this:

"To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen."
-Jude 1:24-25
Here's to being presented without fault no matter how many times we might fall...
Until next time,
-C.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

What credit is it to you?

"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."

-Luke 6:32-36 NIV

Have you ever given yourself a spiritual pat on the back when you did something nice for someone? Or if you showed love to someone? Or if you unselfishing lended someone something that meant a lot to you? How often was it to someone whom you considered an enemy?

What credit is it to you? These words have been spinning around in my head as of late. I have found myself to be somewhat of a spirtual pride-filled person. I give myself spiritual pats on the back all the time. Wow, C., you really did something nice for your friend, there. Great job, C., you really showed the love of Christ to your loved one. C., I can't believe how generous you were in lending that to someone and letting them not repay you right away.

These verses make me take my hand and stop it as it starts to pat my back and move it towards spanking my backside. Even sinners can be nice to people who are nice to them. Atheists, pagans, God haters can all show love to those who love them. But, it is when we are faced with people who are unkind, mean and sometimes downright cruel to us that this Christianity thing has to stop talking the talk and start walking the walk.

God has been showing me lately that to truly follow Christ means a very difficult path:

"But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

-Matthew 7:14 NIV

The Bible says that very few are going to actually get this Christianity thing down. Why might you ask? Because it is hard. It is doing the thing that will never come naturally. It is giving until we have nothing. It is forgiving every time. It is showing love to those who have shown the complete opposite to us. It is going against our very nature.

Are you nice to your friends? Lend stuff with expectation of the favor being returned? Forgive those who apologize? Love those who love you back? What credit is it to you? Anyone can do that.

The real question is do you love those who have hurt you over and over again? Do you give without expectation of a returned favor? Are you kind when someone shows you meanness? If you want to start patting yourself on your spiritual back, start doing the hard things. Stop talking like a Christian and start acting like one. God knows how hard it is...

Here's to earning some extra credit...

Until next time,

-C.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Heaven is like a hotel...

Last night, my daughter and I were reading her Bible. She is two so her Bible is much more simplified and has a lot of pictures, but it has those basic concepts that need to take root. Anyway, we were reading a story that talked a lot about heaven. I asked her, "Grace, do you know about heaven?"

"No, mommy," she replied with her childlike eagerness to learn.

"Heaven," I said, "is the most beautiful, magnificent place you'll ever see."

Her response was perfectly timed and in all seriousness, "Like a hotel?"

How do you not laugh at that? But, then I got to thinking, there is spiritual meat in what she said. Think about it, the finest hotel you've ever been to, or maybe the one you've seen on tv. Have you ever just walked into a place only to find your jaw drop to the floor in amazement? The grandeur of it is breath taking. Your every need is satified with one call. People at the front desk act as though they are so glad you are there. The little touches: a mint on your pillow, fresh flowers in your room, an infinity pool for your leisure. Surely, there is some connection between heaven and a hotel. The beauty, the majesty, the greeting when you walk in the door. Perhaps in the eyes of a two year old, heaven is like a hotel. Big, beautiful and fun.

Yet, those of us on earth often forget about the majesty that awaits us. Instead, we live as though we are heading to an eternal Motel 8 instead of the Ritz-Carelton. We live as though the temporary lodging we have on this earth is as good as it gets so we better get as much as we can. Tightly, we grip our possessions, our money, our time because we want to pile them up for our own personal use. God has convicted me on this one lately. I keep living as though this is it but yet I know, it is not. And in a God economy, there is no recession. No loss of wages. No downsizing. You gotta go all or nothing.

"Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
-Matthew 19:21 NIV
I don't like that verse. Because it challenges me and taunts me simultaneously. I want to be perfect. I want Christ to be proud of me. I want treasure in heaven. Yet, I know something inside of me fights this command. When you look at people who gave and how Christ and God responded to them in the Bible, it wasn't the people who had a lot and gave a little that got a penthouse suite in heaven. No, it was the ones who had very little and gave it all that got that special treatment.
I think the thing that strikes me lately is that Christianity is a radical religion. Unfortunately, I think we've all got it so wrong that we are going to get a talkin' to eventually. It was meant to be radical in action, not in speech that discriminates, judges, and condemns. It wasn't meant to be a political party. I don't think Jesus would have been found on Capital Hill fighting against homosexuals or abortion. I think He would have been with those people who make those decisions and showing them love in order to give them the desire to change. I don't think Christ would have been using millions of dollars to build church buildings, but rather, feeding the poor and giving to the orphans and widows. His actions would have made no sense in our world. He would have had more money than Bill Gates and more power than Oprah, yet He would have been giving it all away so that He could be completely humbled by His father and could show us the truth about riches and powers.
So, for those of us who are earnestly seeking Him, we have to start living like this is not it. We have to live like there is the finest dwelling is awaiting us soon and so we can easily let go of the things that we have but a fleeting ownership of.
I'll leave you with a story that happened recently. I was at a stoplight and a man was on the corner asking for money. I had been convicted lately about giving to those in need, especially the impoverished so I pulled out my wallet. I had two twenties, three ones and a couple of quarters. I wish I could end this story by saying I gave him everything I had, but I didn't. I got the ones together and the quarters and put my hand out the window as he limped across three lanes of traffic with his cane. I started to pat myself on the back for my generosity but then a pang of conviction swept me. I didn't give him everything. The reason? I was heading to the fair. I had forty dollars to waste on fried foods and rides I didn't even want to ride. That was going to be a good explanation, right? Sorry, Christ, I was going to start giving all but I really wanted a funnel cake and some ribbon fries. The opportunity Christ gave me to be like Him, I totally blew it for calories that my body didn't need.
I blow a lot of opportunities He gives me. But, the good news is He always gives me more...
Here's to striving for the Heavenly penthouse...
Until next time,
-C.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Theological overhaul...

Well, I first must begin by telling you all that I have ended my fast of facebook. Now, some of you will undoubtedly be disappointed in me and others are saying, it is about time! Can't please them all. I felt that I had done what I set out to do: refocus my energy and get my priorities in order. I will say not having that distraction of checking facebook every five minutes was helpful. The good news is I "downsized" my contacts to people that I actually have a connection with and no longer have that incessant urge to get back on. In fact, it bores me quite frankly. But, I was missing seeing some of my dear friends and family's pictures and updates that I don't get to interact with daily (especially those who decided to bolt to Hawaii instead of stay East Coast with the cool kids...). So, I decided to log back on. A little over a month is very impressive considering I have about as much self-control as the two year old I have been given the pleasure to raise.

In other news, I have found myself going through what I can only describe as a theological makeover. Have you ever found yourself to have just completely gotten something wrong? I mean, you've been trucking along thinking you "got" something only to discover that not only did you not get it, you really didn't get it. That's how I've kind of felt with my faith. I've been reading certain scriptures and some books on the topic of the Church and have realized my own Christianity has been so far off from what was meant to be. I've been living the diet coke version of faith.

I think it has a lot to do with my mindset. My thoughts have been so indoctrinated by the world that I couldn't even tell fact from fiction. I thought that if I just got things "comfortable," wasn't going through suffering or difficulty, and reached out to those who were like me, I was doing ok. Then, I got a bit of a spiritual kick in the butt. I realized that this safe faith I've been living isn't really cutting it. I will admit something since I am among friends...I have a fear of non-Christians. I mean it isn't like a I can't shake their hands fear. It is more of a I don't know if I can hang out with someone when I find out they aren't believers. It is like I have to insulate myself in a nice Christian bubble where everyone thinks like I think, talks like I talk, walks like I walk. Then, I look at Jesus. His posse doesn't look a thing like mine. He ran with the society rejects, the broken spirited, the sick, the lost. This is not to say we shouldn't have Christian friends, but so often we can become more of a spiritual social club than people who are on a mission because the clock is ticking. I couldn't even count a person I knew in my area that was a non-Christian because I've stuck so close to my "home."

I've also been grappling with this idea about poverty. You see, in a Bible study I completed a couple months ago about Daniel, Beth Moore discussed how we can know when we have become a part of this modern day Babylon we are all living in. It is when we become so unaffected, so numb to the impoverished that we know we have succumb to this era of self-indulgent extravagence. I have become numb. My heart used to bleed for people I heard about or saw on the streets. Now, I lock my doors and try not to make eye contact. Wow. Jesus would be proud (she says sarcastically).

So, I am undergoing a theological overhaul. I have been feeding myself lies that I am living my faith out in the best way possible, but the truth is I am so far off the mark it is sick. I don't live like a spirit filled individual. I don't make decisions based on what Jesus would do. I don't really act like the radical life-changed vessel I am in Him. This is not to self-condemn, only to self-motivate. Jesus wasn't some guy that just hung out with children and lambs and all the pretty Christians. He was hanging out with the prostitutes, the lepers, the hoodlums. He wasn't playing it safe all the time. He wasn't making it look good only on the outside. He was getting his hands dirty with the imperfections of lives that needed to be forever changed. When am I going to start living like that? Or am I just going to continue on this Pharisees-like journey of making it shiny on the outside and keeping it broken within.

How about you? Do you live a life of radical Christianity or is it safe with those just like you?

Here's to a spiritual wake up call...
Until next time,
-C.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Power Within...

Recently, I have quit a long kick of listening to only Beth Moore sermons and have ventured out. Sometimes we can get in such a rut of listening to or reading the books of one speaker that we quit learning anything new. I started listening to Francis Chan sermons. He is the author of Crazy Love and the book I am currently reading, Forgotten God. This book is about how so often we neglect the holy spirit in all our discussion of God and spiritual matters. It has really opened my eyes to the incredible power of having the living God residing inside of me.

I am a fearful person. I have been that way virtually all my life. My fears reached a crescendo of sorts this time last year when someone near to me attempted suicide. You never realize the power of your own fears until one of the worst of them is realized. But, after that experience, God really released me from the prison my fear had been keeping me in. You see, when a fear comes to be yet you eventually, with a lot of time, tears, and prayers, find yourself on the other side, you start to realize how nothing in life can take away God's power. When you find yourself living in the aftermath of a fear, you can start to truly believe that God can do all the things He says He can.

So, this past year has been a transformation of sorts from this fearful, timid creature to a courageous one. As I am in the midst of another deployment, fears have slowly begin to drip, drip, drip in my mind like the constant faucet leak. But, I have started to comprehend something through Chan's book and just what God has been revealing to me these past months. I am not living the life I was called if I live it in a place of fear. God didn't want cowardice to be the face of Christianity. He gave us the power of the Holy Spirit, His Spirit, to dwell inside each of us so no matter what we face, we could do so with a boldness and strength that would make the world desire what we have. If I am always portraying a fearful front, why would anyone want to follow my God? If I live in the shackles of anxiety, what power is being demonstrated?

Chan talks about how we would live and think differently if we had Jesus in the flesh right next to us each step of the way. The truth is we have that same power in the holy spirit, if we don't deny Him His ability to speak strength into the weak, courage into the fearful, and boldness into the meek.

This life is riddled with uncertainties and anxieties. Yet there are some who get the distinct privilege to look into any trouble and to fear not. There are some who can call on a ever present counselor in the midst of any adversity.

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses..." Acts 1:8 NIV
Can the world tell you have the power of God within you? Do you act like a mighty warrior or a prisoner of war? I know I have not been exhibiting the power God has given me, but the good news is there is still time to show it.
Here's to spiritual strength training...
Until next time,
-C.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Life after facebook

So, I am now almost 3 weeks without facebook. I didn't even realize it had been that long until today. Wow. I must say, I am about amazed by my restraint to simply log back in because if there is one thing this girl lacks, it is self control. And when testing yourself in the area of self control, it seems that temptation can become louder and more difficult to resist.

As I look back at the last 3 weeks, I think about the lessons this little experiment has taught me. Here is round 2 of facebook free teachings:
1.) Quitting cold turkey is essential when trying to refocus your energies. Now, I know quitting was a bit on the extreme side, but honestly, in order to push myself, it was the only way. I think that had I simply limited my time on fb, I would have been back to my ol' time wasting, diverting real human interaction ways.
2.) In this technological age, the less we have to "check," the better! I mean, with everything: facebook, myspace, 3 email accounts, bank accounts, news, etc. etc. etc. we can (or at least I can) occupy a whole day just "checking" things. It almost becomes a MUST, a need rather than what it is: a simple want. I had become so convinced that I HAD to check my FB, that I was putting this false "need" above real ones.
3.) Life can be lived without constant connection...this has been the biggest shocker. Even though I feel more distant from those whom I only occassionally chatted with via facebook, it has made me think about connecting in other, more personal ways such as email or phone calls. The constant connection to a whole lot of people who don't all know me on an intimate level is not necessary to live a full life!

Alright, my mind is wandering about all the things I can be doing with my facebook free time.

Here's to lessons learned...
Until next time,
-C.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Every girl...

Lately, I've found myself and some of my dear friends struggling with accepting this whole military life. I keep trying to pinpoint that one aspect that makes it so difficult and the bottom line I seem to find is that we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. You see, every girl dreams of the man she will marry. Every girl (ok, maybe not all, but most...) dreams about the dress she will wear on the day she promises forever. Every girls dreams about spending every day for the rest of her life with this man. But, that is every girl's life, not that of a military wife.

Instead our reality is we marry a man, knowing full well what his job will entail, but never realizing the gravity of it until we are far to into it. You see our "every girl" dreams are interrupted for a couple of weeks here and there, then perhaps a month or two, until a majority of a year is spent apart from that man we dreamed about rather than with him.

The struggle, I've determined, is that we all had a very different vision of what our lives were to be. We had the same dream of every girl, yet applied them to a very, very different life. A marriage without a moment apart is not our reality. For those of us new to this life, we are bitterly learning to swallow that painstaking pill. Our reality is that we will attend many functions, weddings, children's plays, and other events alone. Our reality is that we will for 6-12 months out of the year every 1-3 years be completely responsible for our households: home repairs, childcare, cleaning, cooking, finances, and everything else that every girl gets to share with her husband, we will find ourselves doing it alone. Our reality is that life hasn't turned out exactly like the dream.

We all had a hope, a hope of what our lives and marriages would be. But, as Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." This is what I think has been our struggle, realizing that our hope has been deferred and we are left with a bit of a broken heart. It is so easy to get stuck in that brokenness, but eventually, we have to realize that just like Christ, we have to give up our own selves, our own comfort, for a greater purpose.

Christ said, "Anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:38-39 NIV

Sometimes to really reach every girl, you got to take away her dream and make her understand the cost of a life where it isn't all about her and her dreams. Even in the midst of extreme challenges, there is a new dream and a new purpose emerging. Every girl comes to the realization that maybe the dreams we all tried to fit our lives into weren't big enough to accommodate the lives of those who chose a different path. Maybe every girl needed to dream a little bigger, with a life in which she found herself picking up her cross and dragging it down a path she never before considered. Maybe every girl's God had a much better dream than every girl imagined and until she lets go of the one that will never become her reality, at least not in the next 6 years, she will never truly understand it.

I am not saying I've got the "how" of it down, but I think I've started to see the beginning. Sometimes when our lives don't fit our past dreams, we have to start letting go, accepting, and making new dreams. I think every girl has to start somewhere...

Here's to hopes deferred, every girl, and new dreams...

Until next time,
-C.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Just thought you'd like to know...

This whole writing thing has taken me in a direction and passion that I always knew existed, but never thought possible. It is funny because sometimes I feel like I shouldn't share with people that something has become of my writings because it feels prideful or like bragging.

But, I share this with you because I am completely humbled that anyone has given a second glance to the words I put on these electronic pages. God told me sometime ago to just, "Write!" And I've been doing that ever since, not thinking much would ever come. However, in my path He has placed several successful authors who share the same heart I have for both military wives and God's word.

One of them has graciously been working with me on a resource for military wives who desire to start a home based Bible study. She has also reviewed a Bible study I am writing for military spouses and has offered to help with the publishing process if I so choose.

Another has asked me to contribute regularly to her blog. Some of my writings can now be seen at:
www.faithdeployed.com

And yet another has allowed my writings to be a part of her site and ministry as well:
www.wivesoffaith.org
It is easy to start patting yourself on the back when God allows even a small amount of "success" to come from the gifts He has given us. But, it can also bring such an amazing sense of humility that He even chooses to gift us imperfect beings in the first place. He can align things so perfectly, placing people along the way who just encourage the gifts and talents He has given us. When you step back, you realize what a BIG God He really is and how much He must truly love us to get involved in our details.

Here's to the something from nothing God...

Until next time,
-C.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Giving grace and other things I've learned...

Here is a two part post for ya today. First, I am sure you are all just dying to know how I am holding up on this facebook fast. I am happy to report that the shakes have subsided and I have yet to sign back on to that online community that so many of us love so much. The funny thing is that more people are texting me or emailing me so I guess we trade one electronic form of communication for another. Oh well, not trying to change the world on this one, just myself.

Here are my facebook fast lessons of the week:
1.) When you don't have access to something, you don't really know what you are missing. I won't lie, I have daydreamed about what each of my friends are posting on their status updates and wondered if I am missing being in the loop, but really I have found more productive uses of my time which included a two hour meander through the neighborhood with my girl yesterday. We actually met a new friend while walking and didn't have to ask her to accept our friendship. Nor did we need to write on her wall to get to know her better, we simply asked!
2.) Technology zaps us of our connections sometimes. Like I said, this is a change me experience, not you so don't go getting all offended or anything. One thing I've learned in this abstaining from facebook is that technology can zap me of my connections: to my family, to my friends and most importantly, to my God. When I am constantly replacing real interactions with face to face interaction with a computer screen, I undoubtedly miss out on those real connections with people.
3.) I am feeling a bit like the Amish. So, yahoo now has a facebook application for your yahoo page, my phone's facebook app has been downed and now the little notification star hangs by its side, enticing me to check back in. With everyone talking about facebook this and facebook that, I find myself sheepish at times admitting I have cut the facebook cord. Most of the time it is simply met with the ol' nod and smile and a hearty, albeit fake, "Good for you!" I find myself in a generation past and feel like everyone else is whizzing ahead. But, the writing ideas that have flowed from this just say no to facebook montage. Oh, the things we will do for our craft...
Well, I am sure more lessons are to come. A counter should be added to this page to see just how long the girl can go without www.facebook.com .


In other news, I had a real lesson this past week or so. I have constantly battled a self-righteous, often times judgmental spirit that I have begged and pleaded with God to break me of. Recently, I think I came across another who shares a similar battle and the result was directed towards me. For days I agonized over this intense feeling of shame and guilt at the thought that I had unintentionally offended someone. It was then that God really put that mirror up to my face and showed me what the receiving end was like of my stubborn self.

I have always heard give them grace, but never quite understood the concept. I knew wholeheartedly about God's grace, an undeserved gift, but how that translated to this human realm I was unsure. Then, it hit me. Giving another grace meant choosing to believe good about them, no matter what circumstances might say. Choosing to say, "surely, they did not mean to come across so unkind" and believing that if they did, it was only the result of their own difficulties at the moment.

For now, I am working heart and soul on this idea of giving another grace. I am going to be looking for the good when people show the bad, forgiving quickly, not keeping count of wrongs, overlooking offenses and trying to live this whole Christianity thing.

Here's to grace and face...book.

Until next time,
-C.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

It could always be worse...and other phrases I hate

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
-Revelation 21:4 NIV

This past year, I have had to deal with a series of separations from my husband. No "real" deployment of say 6 months or longer, but by the time this year ends, it will have totaled almost what one might consider a "real" deployment. I have found myself annoyed and often times, angered by the responses of many well meaning people. When I find myself sharing the news that the hubby is leaving yet again and I answer the question of "For how long?", I inevitably receive a "well, that's not bad" response. Now I know, it could always be worse, but sometimes, you just want people to acknowledge that sometimes it just sucks to have to go through another separation.

I have really considered this response lately. Why do we so many times try to downplay something in another's life that is a challenge or trial? Why do we so often rely on the response, "it could always be worse" or "well, it's not that bad"? I am asking this question not to condemn those who said those phrases to me, but to look at myself and how I respond to a friend's heartache. I think so often it takes more time and energy to get in the midst of people's stuff, so we often to choose a trite response we think can band aid the situation. Yet, our response not only does not repair the heartache of a friend, it can often add a little salt to their wound, saying to them, you're pain is not real or significant. Ouch! I pray for forgiveness to those to whom my response has said this to their heart.

This year, I have watched my family undergo tremendous tragedy and have seen countless Christians fearful to involve themselves in the midst of it. While this could have left a bad taste in my mouth, God has used it to show me how I am afraid to get involved in the messy stuff of life in the lives of others. We often want to fix or solve things that break, but the truth of the matter is there is only one fixer and solver. Lift that monumental burden off your shoulders because it does not belong to you! Instead, what people need from us mere mortal types is someone to hear them, acknowledge their pain or challenge, and then journey through it with them. The more we do this, the more we will realize we can never fix it, only God can. Hopefully, this realization will push us towards lifting up those whose lives are broken.

Military life is hard. Regular life is hard. And sometimes we just need another person to agree with us on that. Then, just pray for us and journey with us through this messy thing called life.
Here's to no more triteness...

Until next time,
-C.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Deactivated

Recently, I did something that will shock many of you. Some will choose to click your right hand corner X quicker than you ever have. Others will think I need some sort of evaluation or even, prayer....I deleted my facebook page. In one quick minute of conviction/annoyance, I hit those words, "deactivate my account." Impulsive? Perhaps. Unnecessary? Maybe. But, let me give you the why.

Lately, I have been thinking about how convictionless I can be at times. Knowing something is wrong, something is not of benefit, yet continuing to ignore that tug God put in my heart. Now, don't get me wrong, facebook is a great avenue to keep in touch with people whom you never get to see or talk to, but it can also have an uglier side.

You see, I started to find myself constantly checking my facebook. Always having to know what so and so posted on their status, check into the lives of people who were never really my friends, but now by some miraculous technological advance had become "facebook friends." Some of those people I know only requested my facebook friendship to see if I had hopefully gained weight or had some miserable life so they could relish in my misfortune. Oh, don't act like you don't know what I am talking about...we've all checked the mean girl in high school's profile to see if she got some just desserts.

Then, I found myself obsessed. Constantly checking statuses, adding statuses, posting to walls, messaging, and poking. Those on facebook who were real friends started getting a wall post instead of a phone call, a HAPPY BIRTHDAY message, instead of a card. My real human interaction hours slowly started to lessen.

So, in one foul swoop and click, I deleted it. Yes, deleted it. I am calling it my facebook fast. I want to see if life can be lived quite contently without the constant connection to about 100 of my not so closest friends and if I can start having real connections with the 117 who are my friends. Let's see where this journey takes me, shall we?

I'll keep you posted...albeit, not through a status update. Sorry, friends.

Here's to connecting....

Until next time,
-C.

PS before you start feeling too sorry for me, facebook allows you to "reactivate" your account simply by signing in again. So, there is hope that one day I'll return...or maybe I won't and will live just as full a life!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

One is the loneliest number...

"Language...has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of [it]."
-Paul Tillich

I again find myself alone for a few weeks while the hubby is training. I am reminded of the ache of not having my best friend and husband here with me each night, but I have also begun to see the redeeming value of a time of solitude. As a military wife, I am quickly learning that this is my state of being for the most part. Deployments and a ridiculous work schedule will give me more time by myself than with my husband. Before you start feeling pity for me, I want you to take a minute to look at this condition so many of us deem a pain rather than a glory.

Loneliness and solitude serve a spiritual purpose no matter how bad it can cause an ache in our side. Loneliness is as much as condition of the human experience as it is a condition of God's design. It is not without reason. Here is some scriptural proof:

1.) Loneliness forces us to turn to God.
"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted."Psalm 25:16 NIV
Loneliness is an attention grabber if ever our hearts had one. If there is anything that can force us to cry, "Hello God! It's me ________," loneliness is it. However, we often miss out on this opportunity to turn to Him and instead engage in activities that try to unravel the cord of solitude. Have you ever considered that perhaps the season or emotional aloneness you are going through could in fact be a way for God to finally get your attention and focus?

2.) God's power is revealed in the lonely.
"God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land." Psalm 68:6 NIV
God likes to do the things that are counter intuitive to our mere mortal minds. The poor are rich in His eyes. The weak are strong. So, it would naturally follow that the lonely, He sets in families. As I look at how God has blessed my military journey, I am always reminded of the "families" He has provided me at every stop along the way. In Virginia, it was a group of Marines I fed quite regularly. In Florida, it was a Navy boy and a Marine (who I also fed quite regularly...) down the street along with an abundance of Christian sisters who were in the same military boat as me. Here, I've found the most incredible church family I have ever had in my life and another bountiful group of sisters in Christ whose husbands serve in the armed services. You see, God set me, a lonely girl following a boy and his dream in these "families." Families that have supported me through laughter and tears and everything in between.

3.) Loneliness is an opportunity for prayer.
"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." Luke 5:16
One thing I have found in the course of training and deployment is that my prayer life is stronger when my husband is gone. Perhaps it is the fact that there is limited adult interaction or that I just need to talk to someone. Sometimes we are forced to withdraw. And sometimes, like Christ, we need to choose it. Christ would often leave all the people that surrounded him to pray. Loneliness is an opportunity, if we will take it.

From a practical side, times of separation give me time to focus on things that I normally can't when my husband is here. I hate stagnation. And when I see people becoming stagnate in seasons where they have a chance to develop and grow, I can become frustrated beyond belief. If we believe what we say we believe, than we must recognize that everything serves a purpose, even if we don't necessarily know it. God has been showing me that in my times of solitude, He wants me to use it for writing, a call He has placed in my heart. Good writers need to experience every ounce of emotion they can to become credible and so it is my belief that the more emotion I feel, the better writer I can become. For others, He may use times of loneliness to focus one's efforts on their physical health, learning a new hobby, or creating. The point is that if you are finding yourself in a season of feeling alone, are you asking the question, "God, what should be my focus right now?" Loneliness can hurl us into a state of depression or spur us towards progression. It just depends on one to make the choice.

Here's to the lonely hearts club...

Until next time,
-C.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Attitude

I've got a bad attitude lately. And not just one of minor annoyance, but a stomp my feet, throw my hands down, and temper tantrum like my two year old, kind.

You see, me and a certain government branch have not been getting along lately. While I won't tell you to whom I am referring that begins with U, ends with C and has a SM in the middle, I will tell you we have been fighting.

My husband once described me as the "moto" one in our relationship. I wore the tee shirts. I spoke the lingo. I loved the atmosphere of camis and boots. But, then a little something called "the fleet" happened and I found myself losing my moto faster than a CH-53.

But, God has been working on me and my attitude. While in part He feels compassion towards my situation, He also in part has been encouraging me to accept the life we have chosen. While I thought my hubby would be home by dinner time every night when not on a deployment, I have found myself with cold plates of food and no husband to report of until the wee hours of the night. Only to be followed by an early start and another late end.

Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we thought it would. Sometimes things just don't seem fair and we want to have drop on the floor, writhe and scream, like the toddlers we care for each and every day. Sometimes government officials write schedules that infuriate the spouses of those in the armed service. Sometimes a job can seem to take away so much from a family that we begin to forget the reasons why we took this route in the first place. It happens.

And while we are to cast our cares upon our God, because He cares for us, we are also to take a little attitude check. As Christians, circumstance does not dictate our chosen outlook on life, Christ does. You ready to take a look at attitude?

1.) It is to be Christ-like:
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness." Philippians 2:5-7 NIV
Christ was God. Yet, He was willing to humble himself to a lower position to complete the task He was given. We in the same ways need to humble ourselves, whether it being to the United States Marine Corps, accepting gratefully the opportunity to serve others as both a Marine and a Marine family, or something else in this life. If we believe that God is the God in control, we have to believe that every situation and everything that happens is for a reason.
2.) We have to get a new one:
"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24 NIV
Those of us in Christ aren't to have the same attitudes as we did before we knew Him. You see my flesh is constantly telling me, "ME, ME, ME!" "If I am not happy, then nothing else matters." But, my husband's job is an important one. It is one of great sacrifice on his and I am learning now, my part. Part of becoming more Christ-like in attitude is accepting that it isn't all about me as my flesh would like me to believe. Sometimes, people choose paths that have a greater significance than just themselves. Sacrifice is involved. But, even through that experience, we can come to understand more about the God we serve and His own sacrifice.
3.) We have to have a standard for it:
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:12-13 NIV
Part of my struggle has been justification of my attitude. I have been in a total child-like state answering God's pangs of conviction with, "Well, the Marine Corps started it..." and "It's not my fault!" But, then I get into God's word and I see verses like "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe." Philippians 2:14-15 NIV
It is then I am reminded that God didn't say, "Do everything except being a military wife without complaining..." Nope, while I would like it to have been a typo, His word is pretty clear: everything is to be done without complaining.
Attitude can be a make-or-break us thing. Bad ones can keep us from having a life filled with blessing because we are so focused on the hardship, difficulties, or imperfections. Good ones can get us through situations, relationships, and even careers in a way we never imagined possible. This is not a done deal for me. I am still working on it and will probably continue to be working on it for the remainder of my husband's contract. But, I have started to accept those things I just can't change and have begun to try to change the one thing I can: my attitude.
Here's to a new outlook...
Until next time,
-C.

Friday, July 24, 2009

My top ten favorite...blog entries

Having this blog has been like having a virtual diary. Granted, this diary can be read by anyone with a computer and internet access, but I like to forget that part.

Here are my top ten favorite blog posts:

10. Consumerism
9. Redirection
8. Be Kind
7. Be careful what you wish for
6. The Power of Words
5. Be ye transformed
4. Blink of an eye
3. At your service
2. Conscious Living
1. The Gentle Whisper

Thanks to all of you who read my ramblings...

Here's to pickin' favorites...

Until next time,
-C.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Patience is a virtue...

Only seven days, well technically 6 days, and approximately 7 hours separate me and my love. The pilot is somewhere in the ocean, leisurely floatin' his way back to my arms. Yet, I have found myself going against my usual nature and being very patient as I waited through this deployment...until now. It seems the closer he gets to coming home, the more impatient I grow. It has become the kind of impatience that makes one a tad bit annoyed, frustrated and in general, bad company to be in the presence of. But, it is just that the time is so close to being over, I just can't stand another minute!

Alas, God reminds me of the importance of patience, waiting upon Him as I wait upon a very large Navy ship, whose maximum speed is 25 mph. Yes, just 25 measly mph, and that is once they get their gas tank filled up. Right now, they are drifting at about 15mph. No wonder they say full speed ahead...otherwise, they might NEVER get home!

One thing I've learned about living the military life is that we military people are forced to choose to live with the lessons of faith and God more so than you civilian types. While most civilians have the luxury of pushing out thoughts of impending doom on their family, we in the military have to look at it everyday and decide what to do with it. To let it consume us with fear or empower us to love harder in every moment we are given with our Marine, Soldier, or Sailor. While most civilians can use words like faith, prayer, and trust as a passive punchline, we must choose to make it a firm foundation to stand upon in times of trouble or to collapse under the pressures without it.

A little lesson in patience comes compliments of the United States Marine Corps. But, the bigger lesson comes from my God above, who says, "Just remember what this longing feels like because soon he will be home and the temptation of taking for granted his presence along with the monotony of life, will come." Perhaps patience is a virtue.

Here's to full speed ahead...
Until next time,
-C.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Gentle Whisper

Man, I couldn't even go a month without writing. I sure did try, but words have been trying to leap out of my heart for days now. I guess the only thing to do is share them with you.

This scripture just pierced my soul and I am wondering if it will pierce yours.
"The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper."
-1 Kings 19:11-12 (NIV)


Elijah's story is that of a most faithful servant, who but in the same breath almost lost His faith altogether. In his inhale, he was amazed by God's faithfulness to him, yet in the exhale was struck by paralyzing fear as he faced adversity.

And as wind, earthquakes, and fire erupted before his eyes, he kept looking for his God. Yet, it wasn't in the loud, powerful promulgations that God made known His presence, but rather, through a soft, gentle whisper.


How often do we find ourselves like Elijah? Believing wholeheartedly in the power of our God in one drawed in breath, and then, watching that belief all but disapear in the next. Then, as God comes to reveal Himself to us, we become so fixated on monstrous, palpable demonstrations that we miss the faint sound of His voice saying, "Here I am!"


Can we get our respiration to reflect the truth of God's character? Can we find belief when circumstance entices us towards doubt? Can we focus our ears and eyes not on the sounds of the disasters that whiz by us, but on the gentle whisper that comes afterwards?


Faith is not for the meandering charlatan, but rather for the persistent pathfinder, who blazes through the unkown towards the sound of a simple hushed utterance.


Here's to hearing the gentle whisper...

Until next time,

-C.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Taking a break...

Ok, so I am pulling this plug. Not that any of you are waiting by your computer for the next blog, but I need a break. Not sure for how long, but sometimes you just got to retreat a bit.

Anyway, thanks for your readership...if that is a word and I'll see you eventually again in about a month or two or maybe more depending...

Here's to a break...

Until next time,
-C.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Struggle, Struggle, Struggle.

I thought God was giving me a period of relaxation from all the stressful life events that have taken place these past 9 months, but then on Thursday and Friday I got more waves of trial and difficulty. God keeps bringing me to the brink of situations that drive me into a state of fear and I have been struggling with the question of why. Now, I find myself on the brink of two very scary situations yet again and I am not quite sure if this will be the time He brings me over the edge into some of my very worst fears. I can't help but start to understand Job.

Those who know the story of Job know that he lost everything or had everything he held dear threatened in his life. Job had some not so great friends who blamed all his tragedies on his own sin. But you see, Job was a righteous man who loved the Lord. Little did he know, God had made an agreement with the devil for Satan to pluck all the things from Job's life that he held dear, with the one caveat that he was not to take Job's life. The story ends with a righteous man remaining righteous, without losing faith completely. But, it doesn't end without the nagging question of why. Job, the Psalms, and so many other places in God's word we come face to face with people going through intense periods of distress, crying out to God, begging the question why. God allows it. In fact, I think He welcomes it. With the understanding that the answer may not come in this lifetime.

This human stuff is tough, I won't lie. It sometimes seems like we can't get a break and sometimes, we truly can't. Faith isn't for the faint of heart. Even when I feel like I have nothing left anymore, not an ounce of faith to muster up, I still hear Him whispering that He is there. Even though I am mad and want Him to just stop with the lessons and character building, I know He is doing it all for my good. I can continue along this road with my head lifted to the sky, muttering to my God, why? why? why? The answer may not be made available quite yet, but I know it is there.

My memory verse this week:
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." Psalm 126:5-6

So, maybe all that stuff we go through that leaves us screaming, why? why? why? are building muscles so we can carry our sheaves.

Here's to getting stronger...

Until next time,
-C.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Modern Day Babylon

I haven't blogged in awhile due to a combination of craziness of the life that is mine and the fact that I have been completely uninspired in the writing realm. A case of writer's block perhaps, I don't know.



I've started a new Bible study by my all time favorite Bible teacher, Beth Moore. It is the study of Daniel, which is about living a life of integrity in a spiritual challenging "Babylon" (you know, the world of glitz, glamour and temptation we face everyday) as well as some other deep theological teachings that I am just trying to get God to teach me because it is way...over...my...head.



Anyway, I've been thinking about the concept of Babylon and how the world can influence me. I enjoyed a couple days of self-righteousness as I thought to myself, Well, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I have no self destructive behaviors that I can think of and I usually try to do the right thing. I must be overcoming this Babylon!



Just as soon as I got my hand twisted behind my back for a self inflicted pat, God threw some conviction my way. I started to think of all the ways I've let the world leak in and change me for the worse. I came up with a long list, that I am working with God on, but I thought I could share a couple of them with you. A lot of the "Babylon effect" in my life comes with what I put in my brain. I really think reality shows and celebrity gossip are where I become so consumed by the Babylonian giants that I can't even see straight. You see, I am a fan of just about any reality show: Housewives of Any County, Jon and Kate plus all their kids, Tori and Dean in love or in Hollywood, you name it, I watch it. I get sucked in to it and am just so curious about their lives. What freebies are those multiples getting this week? Who is getting in a catfight on this episode? What is it like to be a Hollywood mom?



It is subtle really. I put it in my head and then think it is gone for good. Until I begin having wants for things I never really cared for before: tummy tuck after I have all my kids like Kate, blonding my hair until platinum is the only word to describe it like Tori, a luxurious home and furnishings like all the Housewives. Then, pretty soon I see a Babylonian attitude rearing its ugly head:
"You have trusted in your wickedness and have said, 'No one sees me.' Your wisdom and your knowledge mislead you when you say to yourself, 'I am and there is none besides me.'"
Isaiah 47:10 NIV
Our own Babylon says to us that this world is revolving around us. Our own Babylon says that no one else matters but ourselves, our lives, our homes. I may not be in the throes of the obvious Babylon ways, but as I allow the Babylon ideas float into my brain through reality tv and celebrity gossip magazines, I am putting my heart at risk of those ideas taking root and changing the truths I know in my heart.
I'd like to tell you that I have canceled my US Magazine subscription and I have stopped watching reality tv. But, no, as I type Tori and Dean play in the background. Ultimately, maybe God will convict me about turning from those things, but for now, He has convicted me to start recognizing the Babylon ideas in everything I put in my brain. Little steps, right?
Here's to silencing the Babylon....
Until next time,
-C.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

But a breath...

"You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath.
Selah
Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it."
Psalm 39:4-6
Yesterday, we celebrated my babies birthday. Hubby turned 30 and little girl turned 2. I can't stop asking the question, where does the time go? Days can seem so monotonous or mundane, but each day is part of a whole that is quickly being eaten up. It is just a reminder how fleeting our time on earth and together is. It is just proof that we can forget to look at the whole picture as we go through each day.
Here is to each breath...
Until next time,
-C.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Another Year Older...

Today marked my 27th year on this Earth. For the first time in my life, this birthday was overshadowed with a certain melancholy at the fact that I am getting older. I've never experienced that before, but with 30 lurking around the corner, I have realized I am no longer a child.

Why does aging sadden us so much, I wonder? Is it the fact that we are no longer the youth filled, carefree person we once were? Does the fear of leaving this life cause us to hate every time we grow one year older? Or is it having to watch these earthly vessels of ours start to crumble before our eyes that brings us such a sense of discouragement as each day of our birth rolls around?

I think sometimes our eyes get so fixated on what was behind us: that perfect figure we didn't know we had until it was gone, the easy life of no adult responsibilities, or the inability to know what was to come. Aging brings us to a point where we reflect and ask ourselves, where did another year go? Our sentences all begin with: just yesterday and before I knew it.

The funniest part is that so much of our youth is spent wishing we were older. At 5, I wanted to be 13 so I could sit at the big kids table during Thanksgiving dinner. At 13, I wanted to be 16 so I could drive and feel free. At 16, I wanted to be 18 so I could legally be considered an adult. At 18, I wanted to be 21 so I could have all the privileges of full fledged adulthood. At 21, I wanted to be 25, just so I could rent a car if I so chose. So many years, so many milestone years, were spent wasted on wanting to move on to the next stage. Now, I am finding myself wanting to slow this train down a bit so I can enjoy the scenery.

But, the truth is, the train is only going to speed up, which is why it becomes so important to enjoy every fleeting second of every single season God brings us through:
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-9 (NIV)
Here's to enjoying this next season...
Until next time,
-C.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Becoming a Statistic

This is a blog that has been on my heart for quite some time now. I just wasn't sure when I was ready to get the words on to this virtual paper. Sometime this year, I will become a statistic. I will join the ranks of so many of my dearest friends and family members. This year, I will become a child of divorce.

I've wondered so often if it is any easier to become a child of the big D at 27 than it is at 7 years of age. On one hand, a child gets a certain amount of shelter and protection (in some cases) against the ugly truth about their parent's relationship. As an adult child going through a divorce, the details may be more known and parents can come to regard you as a peer rather than their child. So, the young child going through a divorce of their parents wishes they knew more about the situation and the adult child going through a divorce, wishes they knew less. It begs the question as to whether or not divorce is an easy thing at any age. From my experience, the resounding answer is no.

It is such a trying time when one has to realize the very frailty of those they held on the highest pedastals. The truth is that realizing our own parents imperfection justs spurs on that desire for finding the One who is perfect. Perhaps the hardest part for me has been watching my parents in such a state of pain that I can't control or help with. Realizing our own lack of power is perhaps the greatest difficulty in any situation where the ones we love are hurting.

I guess my ultimate prayer for each of you reading this is that we can all come to accept that our lives are completely filled with imperfect people, people we love dearly yet who may disappoint us, people we hold in high esteem yet have to watch as they come tumbling down. Our desire should not be to change these people, but to simply love them no matter where they are in life, in their spirituality or their circumstances. It is by no means an easy task, but it is one we are given supernatural strength to complete.

I could never quite sympathize with people who came from broken homes before I did. I didn't get it. I couldn't understand how hard it was. As I child, I thought it would be cool to have two rooms and two birthday parties. I never understood the impact it had on a person and how much pain it could cause no matter what the age you experienced it at.

For my blogging friends who have not had to experience the pain or trauma of divorce, I would just encourage you to be thankful for a family that has remained in tact. For those of you who have gone through one or are currently going through one, I would encourage you to cling to God's words and promises for us. I want to leave you with a couple:

"Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me." Psalm 27:10 (NIV)
- Remember that no matter how imperfect our earthly parents are, our Heavenly Father will never let us down.

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Ephesians 6:1-3 (NIV)
- No matter how much you feel you may have been hurt or let down, continue to remember the high place of reverence God calls us to hold our parents in with an obedience, so long as it is in accordance with God's word.

People fail us. This is an undeniable truth about our time here on this earth. It is a difficult pill to swallow. But, in spite of this, continue to seek to find the good in those we love. Continue to find the One who will never fail us or forsake us. Continue to be steadfast in your trust in Him and Him alone.

Until next time,
-C.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Industry...

"She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
"
Proverbs 31:13-24 NIV


So, this Ms. P 31 that we have been studying this past couple of blogs is really starting to show her true colors. First off, we have determined that she brings her husband good, not evil, through the way she treats him. Next, we are going to see a very important trait: industry.


Whether you stay at home or work outside the home, this concept of industry is very important. You see Mrs. 31 is not a thumb twiddler. She is up and at 'em in every area of her life: business and on the home front. I think these verses can be liberating to us, ladies. For those of you staying home and wondering if you should allow those degrees on your wall to collect dust, you can look at her and see how she made a career out of taking care of her family. If you work, you can look at her and see that she was a business woman, a seamstress and a realtor, yet she still managed to be the care taker of her home as well. She is also a philanthropist, giving of her time to help those in need. I don't think these verses suggest that you have to do it all and do it all at once. But, what it does show is how we should be industrious in all our roles: wife, mother, businesswoman, humanitarian.


Work is a part of this life. God's word says, "So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?" Ecclesiastes 3:22 (NIV)


Whatever "job" God has given us at this season in our life, we can choose to learn to enjoy it and be industrious in it, or we can choose to loathe it and become lazy. Only one will bring us closer to how He desires us to be. Only one will show an unbelieving world a true view of Christianity.


I think the important aspect to gain from these verses that is perhaps not clearly spelled out, is Mrs. P's attitude. No where in the verse does it say that "Begrudgedly, she selects wool and flax," or "Against her will, she opens her arms to the poor." No, Mrs. 31 is doing all these tasks without a grumble or a complaint. In fact, I think her attitude about her work is summed up by the following:

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
Colossians 3:23-24 (NIV)


Whether you are a stay at home soccer mom (that's me...part time), a three day a week pediatric emergency room nurse (that's my bff), or a full time lawyer, business woman or administrative assistant, do it as though you are doing it unto the Lord. If that is where He has placed you for a given season, then accept that call and just work as if He is your ultimate boss. What an amazing change we might see in our world if an army of Proverbs 31 wannabe's started acting as though they were serving the ultimate Boss and not some earthly tyrant (which may take the form of a two year old in some cases...). Could lives begin to change? Could hearts begin to change? Could people begin to see us as this woman that we have placed upon a pedestal?

Here's to industry...

Until next time,

-C.

Your Turn:
1.) Attitude Check: No matter what your position in life, how is your attitude towards it? Do you set about your tasks with the same vigor and industry as our new BFF?
2.) What causes our attitude to sour? Is it the hustle and bustle of busyness? Is it fatigue? Is it lost perspective? What makes you have a bad attitude towards your given lot in life?
3.) Think about your main "job." How can you start working as if your boss is the One and Only?