"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Emerson

Monday, October 26, 2009

Heaven is like a hotel...

Last night, my daughter and I were reading her Bible. She is two so her Bible is much more simplified and has a lot of pictures, but it has those basic concepts that need to take root. Anyway, we were reading a story that talked a lot about heaven. I asked her, "Grace, do you know about heaven?"

"No, mommy," she replied with her childlike eagerness to learn.

"Heaven," I said, "is the most beautiful, magnificent place you'll ever see."

Her response was perfectly timed and in all seriousness, "Like a hotel?"

How do you not laugh at that? But, then I got to thinking, there is spiritual meat in what she said. Think about it, the finest hotel you've ever been to, or maybe the one you've seen on tv. Have you ever just walked into a place only to find your jaw drop to the floor in amazement? The grandeur of it is breath taking. Your every need is satified with one call. People at the front desk act as though they are so glad you are there. The little touches: a mint on your pillow, fresh flowers in your room, an infinity pool for your leisure. Surely, there is some connection between heaven and a hotel. The beauty, the majesty, the greeting when you walk in the door. Perhaps in the eyes of a two year old, heaven is like a hotel. Big, beautiful and fun.

Yet, those of us on earth often forget about the majesty that awaits us. Instead, we live as though we are heading to an eternal Motel 8 instead of the Ritz-Carelton. We live as though the temporary lodging we have on this earth is as good as it gets so we better get as much as we can. Tightly, we grip our possessions, our money, our time because we want to pile them up for our own personal use. God has convicted me on this one lately. I keep living as though this is it but yet I know, it is not. And in a God economy, there is no recession. No loss of wages. No downsizing. You gotta go all or nothing.

"Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
-Matthew 19:21 NIV
I don't like that verse. Because it challenges me and taunts me simultaneously. I want to be perfect. I want Christ to be proud of me. I want treasure in heaven. Yet, I know something inside of me fights this command. When you look at people who gave and how Christ and God responded to them in the Bible, it wasn't the people who had a lot and gave a little that got a penthouse suite in heaven. No, it was the ones who had very little and gave it all that got that special treatment.
I think the thing that strikes me lately is that Christianity is a radical religion. Unfortunately, I think we've all got it so wrong that we are going to get a talkin' to eventually. It was meant to be radical in action, not in speech that discriminates, judges, and condemns. It wasn't meant to be a political party. I don't think Jesus would have been found on Capital Hill fighting against homosexuals or abortion. I think He would have been with those people who make those decisions and showing them love in order to give them the desire to change. I don't think Christ would have been using millions of dollars to build church buildings, but rather, feeding the poor and giving to the orphans and widows. His actions would have made no sense in our world. He would have had more money than Bill Gates and more power than Oprah, yet He would have been giving it all away so that He could be completely humbled by His father and could show us the truth about riches and powers.
So, for those of us who are earnestly seeking Him, we have to start living like this is not it. We have to live like there is the finest dwelling is awaiting us soon and so we can easily let go of the things that we have but a fleeting ownership of.
I'll leave you with a story that happened recently. I was at a stoplight and a man was on the corner asking for money. I had been convicted lately about giving to those in need, especially the impoverished so I pulled out my wallet. I had two twenties, three ones and a couple of quarters. I wish I could end this story by saying I gave him everything I had, but I didn't. I got the ones together and the quarters and put my hand out the window as he limped across three lanes of traffic with his cane. I started to pat myself on the back for my generosity but then a pang of conviction swept me. I didn't give him everything. The reason? I was heading to the fair. I had forty dollars to waste on fried foods and rides I didn't even want to ride. That was going to be a good explanation, right? Sorry, Christ, I was going to start giving all but I really wanted a funnel cake and some ribbon fries. The opportunity Christ gave me to be like Him, I totally blew it for calories that my body didn't need.
I blow a lot of opportunities He gives me. But, the good news is He always gives me more...
Here's to striving for the Heavenly penthouse...
Until next time,
-C.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Theological overhaul...

Well, I first must begin by telling you all that I have ended my fast of facebook. Now, some of you will undoubtedly be disappointed in me and others are saying, it is about time! Can't please them all. I felt that I had done what I set out to do: refocus my energy and get my priorities in order. I will say not having that distraction of checking facebook every five minutes was helpful. The good news is I "downsized" my contacts to people that I actually have a connection with and no longer have that incessant urge to get back on. In fact, it bores me quite frankly. But, I was missing seeing some of my dear friends and family's pictures and updates that I don't get to interact with daily (especially those who decided to bolt to Hawaii instead of stay East Coast with the cool kids...). So, I decided to log back on. A little over a month is very impressive considering I have about as much self-control as the two year old I have been given the pleasure to raise.

In other news, I have found myself going through what I can only describe as a theological makeover. Have you ever found yourself to have just completely gotten something wrong? I mean, you've been trucking along thinking you "got" something only to discover that not only did you not get it, you really didn't get it. That's how I've kind of felt with my faith. I've been reading certain scriptures and some books on the topic of the Church and have realized my own Christianity has been so far off from what was meant to be. I've been living the diet coke version of faith.

I think it has a lot to do with my mindset. My thoughts have been so indoctrinated by the world that I couldn't even tell fact from fiction. I thought that if I just got things "comfortable," wasn't going through suffering or difficulty, and reached out to those who were like me, I was doing ok. Then, I got a bit of a spiritual kick in the butt. I realized that this safe faith I've been living isn't really cutting it. I will admit something since I am among friends...I have a fear of non-Christians. I mean it isn't like a I can't shake their hands fear. It is more of a I don't know if I can hang out with someone when I find out they aren't believers. It is like I have to insulate myself in a nice Christian bubble where everyone thinks like I think, talks like I talk, walks like I walk. Then, I look at Jesus. His posse doesn't look a thing like mine. He ran with the society rejects, the broken spirited, the sick, the lost. This is not to say we shouldn't have Christian friends, but so often we can become more of a spiritual social club than people who are on a mission because the clock is ticking. I couldn't even count a person I knew in my area that was a non-Christian because I've stuck so close to my "home."

I've also been grappling with this idea about poverty. You see, in a Bible study I completed a couple months ago about Daniel, Beth Moore discussed how we can know when we have become a part of this modern day Babylon we are all living in. It is when we become so unaffected, so numb to the impoverished that we know we have succumb to this era of self-indulgent extravagence. I have become numb. My heart used to bleed for people I heard about or saw on the streets. Now, I lock my doors and try not to make eye contact. Wow. Jesus would be proud (she says sarcastically).

So, I am undergoing a theological overhaul. I have been feeding myself lies that I am living my faith out in the best way possible, but the truth is I am so far off the mark it is sick. I don't live like a spirit filled individual. I don't make decisions based on what Jesus would do. I don't really act like the radical life-changed vessel I am in Him. This is not to self-condemn, only to self-motivate. Jesus wasn't some guy that just hung out with children and lambs and all the pretty Christians. He was hanging out with the prostitutes, the lepers, the hoodlums. He wasn't playing it safe all the time. He wasn't making it look good only on the outside. He was getting his hands dirty with the imperfections of lives that needed to be forever changed. When am I going to start living like that? Or am I just going to continue on this Pharisees-like journey of making it shiny on the outside and keeping it broken within.

How about you? Do you live a life of radical Christianity or is it safe with those just like you?

Here's to a spiritual wake up call...
Until next time,
-C.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Power Within...

Recently, I have quit a long kick of listening to only Beth Moore sermons and have ventured out. Sometimes we can get in such a rut of listening to or reading the books of one speaker that we quit learning anything new. I started listening to Francis Chan sermons. He is the author of Crazy Love and the book I am currently reading, Forgotten God. This book is about how so often we neglect the holy spirit in all our discussion of God and spiritual matters. It has really opened my eyes to the incredible power of having the living God residing inside of me.

I am a fearful person. I have been that way virtually all my life. My fears reached a crescendo of sorts this time last year when someone near to me attempted suicide. You never realize the power of your own fears until one of the worst of them is realized. But, after that experience, God really released me from the prison my fear had been keeping me in. You see, when a fear comes to be yet you eventually, with a lot of time, tears, and prayers, find yourself on the other side, you start to realize how nothing in life can take away God's power. When you find yourself living in the aftermath of a fear, you can start to truly believe that God can do all the things He says He can.

So, this past year has been a transformation of sorts from this fearful, timid creature to a courageous one. As I am in the midst of another deployment, fears have slowly begin to drip, drip, drip in my mind like the constant faucet leak. But, I have started to comprehend something through Chan's book and just what God has been revealing to me these past months. I am not living the life I was called if I live it in a place of fear. God didn't want cowardice to be the face of Christianity. He gave us the power of the Holy Spirit, His Spirit, to dwell inside each of us so no matter what we face, we could do so with a boldness and strength that would make the world desire what we have. If I am always portraying a fearful front, why would anyone want to follow my God? If I live in the shackles of anxiety, what power is being demonstrated?

Chan talks about how we would live and think differently if we had Jesus in the flesh right next to us each step of the way. The truth is we have that same power in the holy spirit, if we don't deny Him His ability to speak strength into the weak, courage into the fearful, and boldness into the meek.

This life is riddled with uncertainties and anxieties. Yet there are some who get the distinct privilege to look into any trouble and to fear not. There are some who can call on a ever present counselor in the midst of any adversity.

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses..." Acts 1:8 NIV
Can the world tell you have the power of God within you? Do you act like a mighty warrior or a prisoner of war? I know I have not been exhibiting the power God has given me, but the good news is there is still time to show it.
Here's to spiritual strength training...
Until next time,
-C.