On Stoop Living

Growing up, I had one thing I dreamed about my adult life including more than anything. It wasn’t a wedding day. Or a big fancy career. No, the one thing I envisioned as being the pinnacle of adulthood was a stoop. You know, a wide, stairway leading to a home, usually found in city dwellings and often times located next to another stoop. It’s the place in movies where neighbors would sit and talk for hours on hot summer days in between games of street football or jumping through the water from spraying fire hydrants. Perhaps it was my days watching Sesame Street as a small girl. Or Crooklyn as an angsty adolescent. But a stoop represented something that I knew I’d long for in my adulthood: community, conversation, life.  

I didn’t get a stoop. Stoops are in the city and I’ve lived the majority of my adult life in the suburbs, marked by cookie cutter homes, locked doors, and fenced yards. I was right about the longings of adults though – community, conversation, and life pretty much sums it up. It’s a craving I’ve seen time and time again, especially in women. But our social media laced existence has given us a false sense that we are satisfying that desire and so we come to the virtual stoop multiple times a day, looking for someone to engage with. As with any substitute for the real thing, we walk away feeling unfulfilled yet bloated, like we never really got what we wanted in the first place.

It’s got me thinking lately: what is it that keeps us from getting that thing we all want more than anything? It is the speed of our lives? Calendars completely booked months in advance? Or Pinterest induced insecurities that tell us not to let anyone in to the interior of our existence before it can be pinned and favorited? Have we filled ourselves with the junk food version of community by becoming peeping toms into the highs of each other’s days through Facebook? Have texts just become enough for interaction? Perhaps it’s a combination of it all, but one thing I know is that we were made for stoop living.

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV)

So many of us are falling and no one even notices, let alone helps us up because we have given up real, live, meaningful, consistent interactions with one another. Marriages are crumbling. Depression is overtaking. People are hurting, but there is no one who even sees it.

Community, though, has purpose beyond just our own personal benefit:

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV)

Stoops, dinner tables, living rooms—these are the places where we get our tanks filled up. As the great philosophizer Taylor Swift once alluded, the world is filled with haters who are gonna hate, hate, hate. We need spaces where we can gather and find our cheerleaders and co-laborers. People and conversations sprinkled with belief that we can do this thing called life and do it well in the midst of whatever circumstances God has placed us in: motherhood, mourning, brokenness, or on the mountaintops in our stories.

Hebrews tells us “not to give up meeting together” and goes on to say “as some are in the habit of doing.”  That tells me that community is a habit. It’s a choice we have to make daily. It requires turning off the computer, clearing off the calendar, and picking up the phone to say come on over. It is scary because it takes away the veneer of perfection that we so meticulously control with every Instagram post. It is vulnerable because we never know what awaits on the other end of the invitation. A no can feel like rejection that none of us want to endure. It can be painful because of the imperfect beings we invite inside may end up being a source of hurt. Real community requires a courage and a boldness some of us don’t feel like we can muster up quite yet.

I’ve watched countless women sit inside and look out the window, longing to come find a spot on the stoop. Day after day, I’ve seen people knock on their doors and invite them out, but they refuse. However, every so often their response will change and they will come and sit. I’ve yet to hear one ever say they regret stoop living. No, their words are always, “I wish I would’ve come out sooner.”

Here’s to finding your place on the stoop!

-C.

Your turn:

What keeps you from real community more than anything: fears, insecurities, or busyness? What have you done to seek it out? Does your home have a stoop, a place where people can come and conversation and life can emerge?  

Dear Christian Friend on Facebook...

By: Catherine Fitzgerald

Dear Christian Friend on Facebook,

I know you watch the news. I can tell by your commentary and rants on reposted Fox News articles. I know the shifts of the cultural tides are really starting to freak you out, I get it. I really do. But, here is the thing: if you profess Christ, you’ve got a whole lot of hope in this world, even more in the next, and you know how it all ends, so let’s all take a deep, deep breath.  

I’ve been silently mustering up the courage to tell you all the things that go through my mind as I habitually scroll social media. I don’t think this current game plan is working. Posting a seething diatribe in the name of Jesus on hot topic issues, the president of the United States, or how this world is going to hell in a handbasket isn’t drawing anyone in to the greatest news of all. I’ve yet to hear of one conversion resulting from a disrespectful and downright unkind meme about the leader of the free world’s leadership. No one has ever told me that they’ve walked away from a sinful lifestyle because they were really convicted by the venomous posts from Christians railing against them on Facebook.

Truth, but what about truth! I hear you scream from the other side of this screen. We’ve got to make a stand.

If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

Jesus always gave truth, but He always did it within the context of a relationship. We must have relational leverage in order for any truth to be welcomed, let alone received. Unfortunately, we’ve clanged the symbol for far too long and have burnt bridges that are seemingly beyond repair. There are entire groups of people who are sick and tired of our brand of truth, to the point that they aren’t even willing to listen anymore. In fact, some are trying to make it illegal.

Here’s what I’m thinking to get this thing back on track. Why don’t we all take a big step away from the keyboard? Let’s stop airing every.single.opinion as if it’s the God’s honest truth. I’ve got a hard word for you and I promise, I’m giving you this because I love you:

            Fools find no pleasure in understanding, but delight in airing their own opinions. (Proverbs 18:2)

This social media thing has really spiraled out of control for even the best of us. We are now delighting in putting errrrrything we think about EVERYTHING out there. We witticize it. We pass it off as nothing more than a joke. We think in terms of our next snarky status. It's foolishness. And the whole world is watching and they aren’t impressed nor changed by this hypocrisy. They will know we are Christians by our political party affiliation and Facebook posts is not how the song goes. It’s love. Over and over and over again, it is boiled down to love.

Pharisees: Jesus, what’s the whole point of this massive book?

Jesus: Love God, Love people.

Before you start thinking about how you’re going to tear this apart in the comments section, question my application of scripture and refute all my points, I want you to take a minute to pray. In this Us v. Them group think mob mentality, how many of us have really taken steps to forage relationships with those whom some may consider them? For all the posts, the rants, the criticisms and judgments, what is the last loving thing you have done specifically for the people you may disagree with? Name the last homosexual you’ve had in your home for dinner. Tell me about the girl you’ve welcomed over for coffee who chose abortion over life. How many of your close friends voted for someone other than the GOP candidate? These aren’t the lines in the sand that Jesus drew. His line was much wider and one that tripped us all:

At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. ³ The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group ⁴ and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” ⁶ They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. ⁷ When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰ Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

¹¹ “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:2-11)

See what He did there? He stuck up for the perceived worst sinner by all the religious elites. He fought for her. They were ready to stone her. Imagine the virtual flogging she would’ve received by Christians on FB. They were ready to mock and turn her sin in to a meme for the masses. Think about the .gif that could’ve resulted from the first stone being cast. It would’ve been liked, reposted and made complete with its own hashtag in a matter of minutes. But, He came out swinging over the visceral attacks of the church going types. The truth that you so adamantly proclaim as your purpose for your harsh and often times cruel posts, only came AFTER He built relationship. A man willing to stand in front of the stones about to be thrown in your direction is a man who has your attention. He is the kind of man a sinner like myself might be willing to hear out about areas in my life that I need to change. A guy bucking social and religious mores in an effort to show a girl from the wrong side of the tracks some grace and love is the kind of guy that can turn this whole crazy train around for us.

I love you friend and it’s because I love you and care for you that I am telling you these things. I don’t want any of us to get to heaven to receive the same harsh judgment we’ve been doling out from the sanctity of our computer screens. This whole thing really could be resolved if we all spent a lot less time on social media and a lot more time getting to know the sinners next door, of whom I am the worst. There is a whole world reeling from broken and bleeding hearts that need some mending and we are the ones who know the remedy. Let’s not keep them from even walking in our door because of all the junk we’ve posted from behind an emotionless, safe machine of courage. Your words may be the cause of some of the blood from those hearts and you don’t even know it. Let’s try to undo all the harm we as a group have already done.

I’m thinking this might be the way to get a few more ears willing to hear us out on this whole matter of truth. What do ya think?

Love,

Your equally as sinful Christian Facebook Friend

P.S. No where above do I reveal my thoughts on aforementioned “hot topics” or current administration. If you want those thoughts, you’re only going to get them over some of my famous spaghetti at my kitchen table, not through some impersonal blogging post. Then and only then you can hear my tone, see my inflection, and ultimately, my heart.

P.P.S. My spaghetti is worth it. 

Beggars can't be choosers and other lies I tell myself...

For the past three years or so, God has been utterly messing me up. I’ve always leaned towards the side of the underdog and the down and out, but through a series of books and my own journey through scripture, I’ve felt a paradigm shift and my ideas get more radical…more like Jesus. He has exposed blind spots in my life that at first, were very uncomfortable for me to deal with. My world is pretty homogeneous, my circle is filled with a lot of like me’s. White, middle class, moms who have the luxury of staying at home with their children. Sometimes it gets mixed up with my working mom friends, but for the most part, the mold is pretty similar down the line. I’ve realized the more and more I get in to God’s word, He thinks and talks a lot about the poor and those on the outskirts, and if I want to obey His commands, I’m going to have to go somewhere to find the people He is talking about.  

Thus began my search for finding those who were nothing like me. It started with getting involved with a local refugee ministry and has now expanded to include the local food pantry. It’s been a great avenue to discussing the things of God’s word with my 8 year old, but as I was serving today in the giant food pantry warehouse without any air conditioning (the heat makes a girl think sometimes), it got me thinking about how while God has used these experiences to make some great strides in my thinking and my views of the world, it has also exposed some ugly thought patterns that I, as a member of the “fortunate,” tend to have. Things that we don’t talk about, but that can best be seen in our actions and reactions to the poor.

If you’ve ever served in any sort of ministry or organization serving the underprivileged that receives donations, you’ve seen the gamut of “stuff” that is given to these places. So much of our collective thoughts on the poor can be seen where donations are received. In our blame shift culture, it is easy to start picking apart the people and places doing their very best to serve with what they’ve been given. But hear me clearly on this one, any “shoulds,” “oughts,” and “need to’s” are only to be reserved for us, the resourced consumers in the community, not the organizations trying to do something to alleviate hunger and meet the needs of the least among us. Our rhetoric is perhaps one of the greatest instigators for this perpetual thinking that most of us silently harbor when it comes to the poor.  

Here are the thoughts I’ve found myself battling against at times that just remind me how little I get “it” sometimes:

1.       Beggars can’t be choosers:

How many times have we muttered this under our breath when giving away something for free? I see myself struggle with this sometimes when I’m handing a bag of random meat to an impoverished stranger or giving away an old, hole-y pair of shoes. Why is the freedom to choose reserved only for the haves of this world? Shouldn’t our poor neighbors have choices in what they feed their families or the clothes they wear? Isn’t that a part of being human? Isn’t that giving someone the dignity of acknowledging them as a human: freedom to choose? My husband once told a story about when he went to Haiti after the earthquakes and the people there would refuse the peanut butter rations. Cultural tastes most likely played into that. But from the perspective of a person who encounters a multitude of choices every time I open the refrigerator, why do I believe that the poor shouldn’t have that same ability to choose? The choice may be between the offerings at hand or nothing, but why should I be the judge of the choice they make?  

The majority of options we offer the poor are the least healthy. Prepackaged, sodium laced, high in calories and fat. At the grocery store the other day the cashier asked if I would like to donate a box of Pop tarts to the local food bank. Pop tarts or cheese doodles. An almost rotten tomato or a wilted cabbage. Those are the choices we as a society are willing to offer our poor neighbors. We can and we must do better than that.

2.       Take what you can get:

This is perhaps the greatest underlying current in our collective “generosity.” When it’s time to donate to the places changing the world, what do we usually offer? Our leftovers. It is all the clothes and canned goods I’ve rejected. I’m saving the best for who else? Me. I’ll give you the shirts I never wear or the cans of beans I bought randomly and will never fix for my family, but ask for my best or even something new, then that’s when I get stingy. That’s when I start scaling back my generosity. Two bags of stained, outdated clothing no problem, but brand new anything, I’ll get you maybe one, the cheapest one I can find, if I remember the next time I’m at Walmart, buying a bunch of things I don’t need for my people.

I’ve seen this in the produce given away at the pantry. Moldy strawberries, lettuce on the verge of expiration, bruised and battered vegetables. Again, the onus for this one is not on the organizations that give this stuff away, they are doing their best with what WE have given them. No, the burden of responsibility is on us as a community. Why aren’t we stockpiling these places with our best offerings instead of our scraps? This isn’t merely a guilt trip, this is a Biblical mandate.

As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others.  All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”-Luke 21:1-4

Put that in the context of what we give to others. The widow gave until it hurt, the rich gave out of their richness. Are our unused leftovers really the best we can do? Is that doing the hard work of denying ourselves more so that we can give completely openhandedly? Do we honor Jesus in the highest way when all we are willing to contribute is our overabundance of junk? Don’t think I’m lecturing you on this one, this is a big fat note to self.

3.       It just shows me how #blessed I am:

Oh, how often do I reduce my changed perspective after working with people outside of my zone of comfort to this? This is when blind spots turn from stupid ignorant underlying beliefs to dangerous, destructive core principles. Material and monetary abundance have absolutely no correlation with God’s blessing on us. If it did, we are telling the majority of the world that God just doesn’t care as much about them, which simply put, ain’t true.

“Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. ¹⁰ But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. ¹¹ For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.”- James 1:9-11

Did you catch that? Stuff is not the reward to those who love Jesus. In fact, the poor are higher on this totem pole of faith than the rich. Why? Because more often than not, our possessions can quickly become the very things that seek to destroy and distract us from our actual blessings. The comforts of this world are the very things that can assuage me in to a false sense that I don’t need God, instead of the daily, hourly or even minute by minute reminder that only the pangs of hunger and the lack of shelter can give.

“Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?”-James 2:5

The faith of our impoverished brothers and sisters around the globe is the kind of faith that impresses God, not the miserly, tight fisted confidence of his spoiled kids. I’ll trust you God when I’m full, start taking things away and that’s when my faith gets shaky. But true faith gets richer in depth and color when our bellies and bodies ache for hunger and warmth. When those eyes turn to the heavens, this stuff gets real. The kingdom moves frenetically at the sound of the cries of those saints.

So, what do we do with this all? It’s easy to take this  as a call to sell everything, move off the grid, and seek out poverty a la David Platt or Francis Chan. For some, that may be the exact thing He is calling us to. I don’t think that’s the only point of what Christ is saying, but I do think we have to do a few things as we wrestle with this tension:

-          Start giving our best away: Don’t stop giving away all the stuff we don’t use anymore, but start looking for ways to give that hurt too. It’s Cross work, Holy Spirit training that will get us to this point where that insatiable American need for more is replaced with a kingdom minded perspective of consuming less in order to give more.

-          Margin, margin, margin: We like to live our lives to the edge of everything: our time, our finances, our square footage. We cannot give more until we have the room and space. At some point, we’ve got to take our name out of the rat race and get off the hamster wheel of busyness, stress and debt so that we can dip deeper in to our pockets and our hearts.

-          Pray: We can’t merely do some magic behavioral modifications and call it a day. We’re only going to get this thing even semi-close to right through the power of the Holy Spirit. I can never, on my own accord, be less selfish or less of a consumer. Our American culture is shiny and glittery and the shelves of Target are all aiming their sights at my friends and me. This place is gunning for us and won’t stop. It’s only an act of God moving within me that is going to keep me from getting hit by another tranquilizer dart of comfort and excess.

This stuff is so stinking hard. Sometimes I just wonder how my faith would be different had I been born in the majority of the world, where hunger and poverty is as much the norm as abundance and excess is here. God has just encouraged me as I’ve watched numerous Christian authors and my friends repeatedly echoing the same things, I want to live with less so I can give more. Let’s do this thing together. Let’s make radical choices and come up with crazy, hair brained schemes about how to fix the mess we’ve created.

Your turn: what’s the hardest part of this all for you? What is your biggest struggle in the chasm between doing the stuff God says to do and living out the American dream?

Freedom Found

I want to tell you a story so pull up a chair...

There once was a little girl. This little girl always found herself longing…longing for the next thing. She often felt like life was like dangling on the monkey bars on the playground, swaying back and forth, back and forth, this girl was just trying to muster up the strength to swing herself to the next rung, the next big thing.

It started from the beginning. As a young girl, all she could dream about was becoming a teenager. When I’m a teenager, she would say, I can drive and then I’ll be happy because I’ll be independent and free. So swing, swing, swing she would on her monkey bars. She’d ride her banana seat bike with a pink flowery basket around the neighborhood. Inside the basket was a small battery operated radio shaped like McDonald’s French Fries. She’d turn it on and pretend it was her car radio. She would drive in the street, stop at all the stop signs, and make fake clicking sounds with her mouth and pretend it was the sound of her turn signal.

Finally, she swung to that bar she had longed for and drive she did. It wasn’t that banana seat bike masquerading as an automobile though. It was a real car. But what she didn’t know was that being a teenager was hard. It was where some of her deepest wounds were cut in to her heart. Her first heartbreak. Her first encounter of mean girls. Her first experiences of becoming a person she always said she would never be. So, this girl, a little older now and with a license, swung, swung, swung, back and forth, back and forth on the monkey bars of her life. This time she set her sights on college. If she could just swing a little harder and grab hold of her young adulthood, then she’d be happy, free to do as she pleased out in the real world, she thought.

Swing, swing, swing she did and college came. However, college wasn’t all she thought it would be. The freedom she had hoped and wished for wasn’t completely free. There were responsibilities and decisions to make that would impact the entire course of her life. It seemed like there were so many doors, so many options to choose from, and she just didn’t know which one to pick. The freedom she wanted was actually the very thing that sought to suffocate her. This freedom was all hers now, but she just didn’t know which door to choose. What if she chose the wrong one? What if she opened it and fell flat on her face? Pick the one that seems the most important, she said, and then you’ll be happy. So, with one lurch, she swung forward and grabbed a rung that she thought would be it.

It was graduate school and a big shiny career. Careers will bring money and money will give you freedom, she thought. But, as she got deeper and deeper in her studies, she realized she picked the wrong door. It wasn’t the career for her and so her freedom was met with failure. Failure felt like a freefall off the monkey bars, so she had to pick herself up, jump straight up and grab the bar again. But the bars were so high and she was so small. She struggled, trying to jump up and grab the bar she had fallen off of. Struggle and jumping. But, finally she was back on the monkey bars, ready to swing again. Find a man, she thought, because love and romance, that is true happiness and freedom. And so she swung.

She loved the man she chose. He was kind and handsome and funny. And love was fun. But, she was ready to swing to the next bar. Marriage required work and it didn’t feel as free as she thought it would. It was messy at times in ways she never imagined. Two people becoming one meant a lot of downsizing. She had to downsize her pride and that was hard because it was big and she didn’t want to make it smaller. And it felt like something was missing. Babies, she thought, babies will fulfill you and make you happy and free, just swing on over. So back and forth, back and forth she went and grabbed the next rung.

With a death grip, she held on. Babies came. But, they didn’t come easy. There was morning sickness and weight gain. Pains in places she never knew existed. And then there were heartaches with words like miscarriage. Sleepless nights and toddler tantrums. Chaos and disorder. Little beings pushing against her every command. Small humans with wills battling for control. Motherhood didn’t seem so free. If I just get them raised, she thought, then I’ll be free, then I’ll be happy. So she swung, swung, swung a little harder until those babies grew up and got dreams of their own and ran after them.

But, now that little girl, all grown up, just dangled on the second to last rung. She just hung there because she knew she was almost to the end. She had time now. Time to pursue all the things she wanted to do when those babies were home and she couldn’t. But, her body and mind were tired. They didn’t care about working out so much. Or reading a bunch of books. Or shopping alone. Or organizing cupboards and pantries. They just wanted the noise and life that were in the house just a few short years ago. The little girl, all grown up, with newfound freedom, just wanted to swing, swing, swing herself backwards to the rungs behind her, but she couldn’t because they had disappeared. Had she spent all of her time wishing and wanting for things to come without knowing that what she truly wanted was right in front of her? She didn’t need freedom, or at least not in the way she thought. She thought freedom meant being able to do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted. But true freedom was something so much more than that. True freedom required a fight. It was a battle every day, on every rung to just allow herself to be. To stop trying to swing herself forward and to enjoy the moment she had right then. It meant looking at the scenery while cruising on a banana seat bicycle. It was befriending that equally heartbroken, lonely teenage girl beside her in math class. It required figuring out what she loved to do instead of trying to chase after what she thought would make money. It was going to mean getting down low and mustering up sincere I’m sorry’s in the midst of the struggles of marriage. It would be a sink full of dirty dishes every.single.day. because today tables and couches were turning into forts and princes and princesses were fighting imaginary dragons beneath them. It was a hard fight for freedom. One that had to be fought every single moment at every single rung of the little girl’s monkey bars of a life. But if she fought hard, she found, something was springing up inside her. It was like a tiny light peeking through drawn curtains. Or a small flower breaking through the cracks of a concrete jungle. With three letters, her freedom rose inside her.

                J

                                O

                                                Y

The little girl fell to the ground. Her arms were weak and tired from hanging for so long, but the good news was she was off the monkey bars. No more waiting to swing to the next rung. She was done with that. And so off she ran to fight for her freedom. Laughing as she slid down the slide. Looking in to the eyes of her friend next to her as they flew in to the air on the swings. Enjoying the ups and downs of the seesaw. This, she thought, this is what I’ve been looking for. This is freedom.

You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

-Psalm 16:11

 

Here's to finding JOY right where you are!

-C.

 

What credit is it to you?

"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."

-Luke 6:32-36 NIV

Have you ever given yourself a spiritual pat on the back when you did something nice for someone? Or if you showed love to someone? Or if you unselfishing lended someone something that meant a lot to you? How often was it to someone whom you considered an enemy?

What credit is it to you? These words have been spinning around in my head as of late. I have found myself to be somewhat of a spirtual pride-filled person. I give myself spiritual pats on the back all the time. Wow, C., you really did something nice for your friend, there. Great job, C., you really showed the love of Christ to your loved one. C., I can't believe how generous you were in lending that to someone and letting them not repay you right away.

These verses make me take my hand and stop it as it starts to pat my back and move it towards spanking my backside. Even sinners can be nice to people who are nice to them. Atheists, pagans, God haters can all show love to those who love them. But, it is when we are faced with people who are unkind, mean and sometimes downright cruel to us that this Christianity thing has to stop talking the talk and start walking the walk.

God has been showing me lately that to truly follow Christ means a very difficult path:

"But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

-Matthew 7:14 NIV

The Bible says that very few are going to actually get this Christianity thing down. Why might you ask? Because it is hard. It is doing the thing that will never come naturally. It is giving until we have nothing. It is forgiving every time. It is showing love to those who have shown the complete opposite to us. It is going against our very nature.

Are you nice to your friends? Lend stuff with expectation of the favor being returned? Forgive those who apologize? Love those who love you back? What credit is it to you? Anyone can do that.

The real question is do you love those who have hurt you over and over again? Do you give without expectation of a returned favor? Are you kind when someone shows you meanness? If you want to start patting yourself on your spiritual back, start doing the hard things. Stop talking like a Christian and start acting like one. God knows how hard it is...

Here's to earning some extra credit...

Until next time,

-C.

The Power Within...

Recently, I have quit a long kick of listening to only Beth Moore sermons and have ventured out. Sometimes we can get in such a rut of listening to or reading the books of one speaker that we quit learning anything new. I started listening to Francis Chan sermons. He is the author of Crazy Love and the book I am currently reading, Forgotten God. This book is about how so often we neglect the holy spirit in all our discussion of God and spiritual matters. It has really opened my eyes to the incredible power of having the living God residing inside of me.

I am a fearful person. I have been that way virtually all my life. My fears reached a crescendo of sorts this time last year when someone near to me attempted suicide. You never realize the power of your own fears until one of the worst of them is realized. But, after that experience, God really released me from the prison my fear had been keeping me in. You see, when a fear comes to be yet you eventually, with a lot of time, tears, and prayers, find yourself on the other side, you start to realize how nothing in life can take away God's power. When you find yourself living in the aftermath of a fear, you can start to truly believe that God can do all the things He says He can.

So, this past year has been a transformation of sorts from this fearful, timid creature to a courageous one. As I am in the midst of another deployment, fears have slowly begin to drip, drip, drip in my mind like the constant faucet leak. But, I have started to comprehend something through Chan's book and just what God has been revealing to me these past months. I am not living the life I was called if I live it in a place of fear. God didn't want cowardice to be the face of Christianity. He gave us the power of the Holy Spirit, His Spirit, to dwell inside each of us so no matter what we face, we could do so with a boldness and strength that would make the world desire what we have. If I am always portraying a fearful front, why would anyone want to follow my God? If I live in the shackles of anxiety, what power is being demonstrated?

Chan talks about how we would live and think differently if we had Jesus in the flesh right next to us each step of the way. The truth is we have that same power in the holy spirit, if we don't deny Him His ability to speak strength into the weak, courage into the fearful, and boldness into the meek.

This life is riddled with uncertainties and anxieties. Yet there are some who get the distinct privilege to look into any trouble and to fear not. There are some who can call on a ever present counselor in the midst of any adversity.

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses..." Acts 1:8 NIV

Can the world tell you have the power of God within you? Do you act like a mighty warrior or a prisoner of war? I know I have not been exhibiting the power God has given me, but the good news is there is still time to show it.

Here's to spiritual strength training...

Until next time,

-C.

Every girl...

Lately, I've found myself and some of my dear friends struggling with accepting this whole military life. I keep trying to pinpoint that one aspect that makes it so difficult and the bottom line I seem to find is that we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. You see, every girl dreams of the man she will marry. Every girl (ok, maybe not all, but most...) dreams about the dress she will wear on the day she promises forever. Every girls dreams about spending every day for the rest of her life with this man. But, that is every girl's life, not that of a military wife.

Instead our reality is we marry a man, knowing full well what his job will entail, but never realizing the gravity of it until we are far to into it. You see our "every girl" dreams are interrupted for a couple of weeks here and there, then perhaps a month or two, until a majority of a year is spent apart from that man we dreamed about rather than with him.

The struggle, I've determined, is that we all had a very different vision of what our lives were to be. We had the same dream of every girl, yet applied them to a very, very different life. A marriage without a moment apart is not our reality. For those of us new to this life, we are bitterly learning to swallow that painstaking pill. Our reality is that we will attend many functions, weddings, children's plays, and other events alone. Our reality is that we will for 6-12 months out of the year every 1-3 years be completely responsible for our households: home repairs, childcare, cleaning, cooking, finances, and everything else that every girl gets to share with her husband, we will find ourselves doing it alone. Our reality is that life hasn't turned out exactly like the dream.

We all had a hope, a hope of what our lives and marriages would be. But, as Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." This is what I think has been our struggle, realizing that our hope has been deferred and we are left with a bit of a broken heart. It is so easy to get stuck in that brokenness, but eventually, we have to realize that just like Christ, we have to give up our own selves, our own comfort, for a greater purpose.

Christ said, "Anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:38-39 NIV

Sometimes to really reach every girl, you got to take away her dream and make her understand the cost of a life where it isn't all about her and her dreams. Even in the midst of extreme challenges, there is a new dream and a new purpose emerging. Every girl comes to the realization that maybe the dreams we all tried to fit our lives into weren't big enough to accommodate the lives of those who chose a different path. Maybe every girl needed to dream a little bigger, with a life in which she found herself picking up her cross and dragging it down a path she never before considered. Maybe every girl's God had a much better dream than every girl imagined and until she lets go of the one that will never become her reality, at least not in the next 6 years, she will never truly understand it.

I am not saying I've got the "how" of it down, but I think I've started to see the beginning. Sometimes when our lives don't fit our past dreams, we have to start letting go, accepting, and making new dreams. I think every girl has to start somewhere...

Here's to hopes deferred, every girl, and new dreams...

Until next time,
-C.

One is the loneliest number...

"Language...has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of [it]."

-Paul Tillich

I again find myself alone for a few weeks while the hubby is training. I am reminded of the ache of not having my best friend and husband here with me each night, but I have also begun to see the redeeming value of a time of solitude. As a military wife, I am quickly learning that this is my state of being for the most part. Deployments and a ridiculous work schedule will give me more time by myself than with my husband. Before you start feeling pity for me, I want you to take a minute to look at this condition so many of us deem a pain rather than a glory.

Loneliness and solitude serve a spiritual purpose no matter how bad it can cause an ache in our side. Loneliness is as much as condition of the human experience as it is a condition of God's design. It is not without reason. Here is some scriptural proof:

1.) Loneliness forces us to turn to God.
"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted."Psalm 25:16 NIV

Loneliness is an attention grabber if ever our hearts had one. If there is anything that can force us to cry, "Hello God! It's me ________," loneliness is it. However, we often miss out on this opportunity to turn to Him and instead engage in activities that try to unravel the cord of solitude. Have you ever considered that perhaps the season or emotional aloneness you are going through could in fact be a way for God to finally get your attention and focus?

2.) God's power is revealed in the lonely.
"God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land." Psalm 68:6 NIV
God likes to do the things that are counter intuitive to our mere mortal minds. The poor are rich in His eyes. The weak are strong. So, it would naturally follow that the lonely, He sets in families. As I look at how God has blessed my military journey, I am always reminded of the "families" He has provided me at every stop along the way. In Virginia, it was a group of Marines I fed quite regularly. In Florida, it was a Navy boy and a Marine (who I also fed quite regularly...) down the street along with an abundance of Christian sisters who were in the same military boat as me. Here, I've found the most incredible church family I have ever had in my life and another bountiful group of sisters in Christ whose husbands serve in the armed services. You see, God set me, a lonely girl following a boy and his dream in these "families." Families that have supported me through laughter and tears and everything in between.

3.) Loneliness is an opportunity for prayer.
"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." Luke 5:16
One thing I have found in the course of training and deployment is that my prayer life is stronger when my husband is gone. Perhaps it is the fact that there is limited adult interaction or that I just need to talk to someone. Sometimes we are forced to withdraw. And sometimes, like Christ, we need to choose it. Christ would often leave all the people that surrounded him to pray. Loneliness is an opportunity, if we will take it.

From a practical side, times of separation give me time to focus on things that I normally can't when my husband is here. I hate stagnation. And when I see people becoming stagnate in seasons where they have a chance to develop and grow, I can become frustrated beyond belief. If we believe what we say we believe, than we must recognize that everything serves a purpose, even if we don't necessarily know it. God has been showing me that in my times of solitude, He wants me to use it for writing, a call He has placed in my heart. Good writers need to experience every ounce of emotion they can to become credible and so it is my belief that the more emotion I feel, the better writer I can become. For others, He may use times of loneliness to focus one's efforts on their physical health, learning a new hobby, or creating. The point is that if you are finding yourself in a season of feeling alone, are you asking the question, "God, what should be my focus right now?" Loneliness can hurl us into a state of depression or spur us towards progression. It just depends on one to make the choice.

Here's to the lonely hearts club...

Until next time,
-C.

Attitude

I've got a bad attitude lately. And not just one of minor annoyance, but a stomp my feet, throw my hands down, and temper tantrum like my two year old, kind.

You see, me and a certain government branch have not been getting along lately. While I won't tell you to whom I am referring that begins with U, ends with C and has a SM in the middle, I will tell you we have been fighting.

My husband once described me as the "moto" one in our relationship. I wore the tee shirts. I spoke the lingo. I loved the atmosphere of camis and boots. But, then a little something called "the fleet" happened and I found myself losing my moto faster than a CH-53.

But, God has been working on me and my attitude. While in part He feels compassion towards my situation, He also in part has been encouraging me to accept the life we have chosen. While I thought my hubby would be home by dinner time every night when not on a deployment, I have found myself with cold plates of food and no husband to report of until the wee hours of the night. Only to be followed by an early start and another late end.

Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we thought it would. Sometimes things just don't seem fair and we want to have drop on the floor, writhe and scream, like the toddlers we care for each and every day. Sometimes government officials write schedules that infuriate the spouses of those in the armed service. Sometimes a job can seem to take away so much from a family that we begin to forget the reasons why we took this route in the first place. It happens.

And while we are to cast our cares upon our God, because He cares for us, we are also to take a little attitude check. As Christians, circumstance does not dictate our chosen outlook on life, Christ does. You ready to take a look at attitude?

1.) It is to be Christ-like:

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness." Philippians 2:5-7 NIV

Christ was God. Yet, He was willing to humble himself to a lower position to complete the task He was given. We in the same ways need to humble ourselves, whether it being to the United States Marine Corps, accepting gratefully the opportunity to serve others as both a Marine and a Marine family, or something else in this life. If we believe that God is the God in control, we have to believe that every situation and everything that happens is for a reason.

2.) We have to get a new one:

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24 NIV

Those of us in Christ aren't to have the same attitudes as we did before we knew Him. You see my flesh is constantly telling me, "ME, ME, ME!" "If I am not happy, then nothing else matters." But, my husband's job is an important one. It is one of great sacrifice on his and I am learning now, my part. Part of becoming more Christ-like in attitude is accepting that it isn't all about me as my flesh would like me to believe. Sometimes, people choose paths that have a greater significance than just themselves. Sacrifice is involved. But, even through that experience, we can come to understand more about the God we serve and His own sacrifice.

3.) We have to have a standard for it:

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:12-13 NIV

Part of my struggle has been justification of my attitude. I have been in a total child-like state answering God's pangs of conviction with, "Well, the Marine Corps started it..." and "It's not my fault!" But, then I get into God's word and I see verses like "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe." Philippians 2:14-15 NIV

It is then I am reminded that God didn't say, "Do everything except being a military wife without complaining..." Nope, while I would like it to have been a typo, His word is pretty clear: everything is to be done without complaining.

Attitude can be a make-or-break us thing. Bad ones can keep us from having a life filled with blessing because we are so focused on the hardship, difficulties, or imperfections. Good ones can get us through situations, relationships, and even careers in a way we never imagined possible. This is not a done deal for me. I am still working on it and will probably continue to be working on it for the remainder of my husband's contract. But, I have started to accept those things I just can't change and have begun to try to change the one thing I can: my attitude.

Here's to a new outlook...

Until next time,

-C.

Another Year Older...

Today marked my 27th year on this Earth. For the first time in my life, this birthday was overshadowed with a certain melancholy at the fact that I am getting older. I've never experienced that before, but with 30 lurking around the corner, I have realized I am no longer a child.

Why does aging sadden us so much, I wonder? Is it the fact that we are no longer the youth filled, carefree person we once were? Does the fear of leaving this life cause us to hate every time we grow one year older? Or is it having to watch these earthly vessels of ours start to crumble before our eyes that brings us such a sense of discouragement as each day of our birth rolls around?

I think sometimes our eyes get so fixated on what was behind us: that perfect figure we didn't know we had until it was gone, the easy life of no adult responsibilities, or the inability to know what was to come. Aging brings us to a point where we reflect and ask ourselves, where did another year go? Our sentences all begin with: just yesterday and before I knew it.

The funniest part is that so much of our youth is spent wishing we were older. At 5, I wanted to be 13 so I could sit at the big kids table during Thanksgiving dinner. At 13, I wanted to be 16 so I could drive and feel free. At 16, I wanted to be 18 so I could legally be considered an adult. At 18, I wanted to be 21 so I could have all the privileges of full fledged adulthood. At 21, I wanted to be 25, just so I could rent a car if I so chose. So many years, so many milestone years, were spent wasted on wanting to move on to the next stage. Now, I am finding myself wanting to slow this train down a bit so I can enjoy the scenery.

But, the truth is, the train is only going to speed up, which is why it becomes so important to enjoy every fleeting second of every single season God brings us through:

"There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-9 (NIV)

Here's to enjoying this next season...

Until next time,

-C.

The Power of Words...

Imagine one small ember floating down, finding its way atop a pile of hay. Slowly yet vigorously a once innocuous heap of dried grass begins to burn. Quickly, a wild fire breaks out and devestation ensues. We've heard such stories on the news. We've seen it happen in the movies. How quickly something so small becomes something so big.

We all have floating embers inside of us that if they are released, can reap destruction on our surroundings. I am talking about our words: those tiny little sparks of fire that when released can turn into painful, calamitous blazes around us.

"Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. . The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."

James 3:5-6 NIV

This is one God is constantly working with me on: that little firestarter in my mouth. Sometimes, I don't even know why have the sparks that are struck are even made in the first place. Most times, I can't even understand why I say the things I say. Am I alone in this?

The thing about our sparks is that they are powerful. While they may be nothing of significance to us, the words we utter can create a sea of flames in another's life. The potency of our words can create a lifetime of hurt and sting, sometimes to those we love the most, and sometimes in ways we don't even realize. Our flesh can struggle so much to keep this tiny, ruinous force in check. Words can destroy reputations, self-esteems, relationships, confidences, and so much more all in the blink of an eye or a wag of the tongue as the case may be.

God talks a lot about this toxic muscle that rests behind our teeth. His view on it shows that He knows it is a force to be rekoned with. He knows it is something that we must learn to control if a.) we desire to not cause destruction and pain to those around us, and b.) we desire to truly be a follower of His words. Here are some important facts about our tongues:

1.) If we truly consider ourselves Christians, we must learn to control it:

"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
James 1:26 NIV

This is one of those "how not to be a hypocritical Christian" verses. Our words have to match our belief system. If we are known by others as a Christian, yet continue to gossip, slander, say hurtful things, talk with vulgarity, how can the world see us as any different? What would make one desire to be around us if our words are only used as weapons?

2.) We will be judged based on the things that come out of our mouths:

"But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

Matthew 12:36-37

This is a day I am not looking forward to...the one in which I have to account to God for every stupid, mean, unedifying thing I've said to people. This is going to be tough conversation. Before you go getting all self-condemning, be sure to read the second sentence of this verse. We can be "aquitted" by our words as well as condemned. Thats right, the power our words have to condemn us before God, they also have the power to aquitt us. I think our challenge to get our mouths to speak more aquitting words than condemning ones.

3.) Our tongues are meant to build others up:

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Ephesians 4:29-36 NIV

This verse always trips me up, everytime I look at it because it is very blatent in its verbage. Our words are not to be unwholesome. It says don't let any unwholesome talk come out, ANY...so that means the crude jokes, the vulgarities, the gossip, and anything that is not edifying or pure has to stop. Period.

Then, it says the purpose of our words is to build others up in accordance with their needs. This requires a little outward focus on our parts. We have to recognize what others need in terms of how our words can become blessings and a source of encouragement to them. We have to let our words benefit those who hear them, not destroy or tear them down.

The next part is really when I fall flat on my face. We have to get rid of a lot of "stuff." We can't hang on to any of it. Oh, if you only knew how my fleshly fists like to clench on to bitterness, rage, anger, and malice. Sometimes, I can't understand why I can't just let something go and why I cling to the feelings of anger and bitterness. It wastes a lot of energy to hold on to those seeds and the worst part is, if you don't let go, they grow! Then, pretty soon what really was not a big deal in the scheme of things grows into a garden of acrimonious resentment and bad behaviors. We find ourselves in a stronghold of sin bigger than the one who may have inadvertantly or even purposely sinned against us.

I think this is what fuels our sparks of words sometimes. Someone does something against us, which results in our hurt feelings, which leads to bitterness, malice, anger, and rage. Then, we start lighting fires...first it starts with us repeating the story to anyone who will listen. Then, the rage gets bigger and bigger. Gossip comes next and as we roll down this hill of bitterness, we begin to go beyond gossip into slander. All of which we could have avoided if we would have just gotten rid of our bitterness, rage, and anger. This requires a lot of humility on our parts, accepting any hurt someone may have caused, maybe even extending to them the benefit of the doubt that they didn't mean anything by it. But, man oh man, what troubles we could avoid if we could learn to get rid of it.

It is powerful, that little tongue of ours. It can start a forest fire or put one out. It can tear someone to pieces or put them back together. It can be our demise or our prize. I wonder, how are you using yours? I know I need to take a serious look and get a strong bridle on my own mouth. The good news is I have a God who is a whole lot stronger than my tongue to help me.

Here's to preventing forest fires...

Until next time,
-C.

A slice of humble pie...

Tonight, I am serving a free slice of pie...before you get too excited, it probably isn't the kind you are thinking about! Remove the visions of plump, juicy blueberries oozing out the side of light, crispy crust and instead replace it with a big o' honkin' slice of humble pie. That is the kind of pie I am serving up tonight...so, if you'd rather not enjoy a slice with me, I take no offense.

I never thought I had an issue with pride, until I realized that was prideful to think. I mean, to some degree we all have issues with pride. My issues tend to fall on the side where I think everything I do must be perfect and any deviations from such a path is a defect that I must perfect. Wow! Can you get any more pride filled than that? I believe that I must do things correctly all the time, and if I can't, then I can somehow fix it so I can. I am hoping I am not alone in this pride fest, I'd like to think there are some of you right there with me. The truth of the matter is we all have something we are covering up, something we are unwilling to admit, something inside of us that we either exalt above others or shamefully hide at such a degree that we become completely inauthentic beings.

I decided tonight I needed a little slice of humble pie. I am not quite sure what it was, probably just the thoughts God had flowin' in my mind after Bible study. I just realized tonight what a mini-god I think I am sometimes. I mean I think that my worrying and holding onto situations can really solve them in a God sized way. God just watched as I tripped flat on my face today after a situation that I was wholeheartedly desiring to give to Him, kept getting ripped from His clutches and back into my "mini-God" hands. Little did I know, God had already worked it out and I had an unnecessary stomach ache because I was believing myself to be higher than I ought: a mini-god with some control over life through my mighty, "mini-god" power of worrying.

My first bite of pie...

Humility (noun): "The state or quality of being humble; freedom from pride and arrogance; lowliness of mind; a modest estimate of one's own worth; a sense of one's own unworthiness through imperfection and sinfulness; self-abasement; humbleness."

I've highlighted the tastiest morsels. Humility is the state of being FREE from our pride, a modest estimation of own worth (the opposite of thinking I even have an ounce of the power God has to control situations), an understanding of how truly imperfect, sinful and unworthy we truly are.

My next bite...

"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."

Proverbs 16:18 NIV

You know what is going to happen every time I elevate myself into a position where I believe I have some control over circumstance, the same thing that happened just today...I am going to fall flat on my face. Pride ultimately leads to our own destruction and fall. If you don't like tripping, quit walking like you are more than you are!

And another bite...

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."

-Proverbs 11:2 NIV

"A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor."

Proverbs 29:23 NIV

Isn't a bit ironic that the purpose that pride serves (to bring ourselves honor), does the complete opposite? God is a God who likes to work the opposite of our human understanding. Where we thinking the best and brightest should be raised up, He chooses the lowest and slowest. And for what other reason than to show how truly powerful He is? Anyone can pick the best and make them the highest, but what kind of strength and power is required to choose the one on bottom and raise them to the top?

Licking the plate...

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV

Here is the kicker...or at least one of them. If you, like me, need to enjoy a big ol' whoppin' slice of this pie I am talking about, it requires you laying it ALL out there. If you really want to devour the freedom in not having to keep up the heavy curtain that pride hangs in front of our lives, you got to just drop it and say, "World, here it is!" Every last imperfection you are trying to cover up with the concealer of conceit, every single weakness you are veiling in a shroud of false perfection has got to be shown so that He can swoop in and take an imperfect weakling and make them a God perfect being. It usually ain't a pretty sight, but God isn't about being pretty, He is about being real.

And a wipe of my face...

"I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me."

1 Corinthians 4:3-4 NIV

"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

1 Peter 5:5-7 NIV

Just as I lick that plate clean, God needs to clean me up a bit. Humility, He says, is not some God-sanctioned self-bashing fest. We aren't to start judging and condemning ourselves for all the ways we fall short. No, there is One who has that position. We are though, to act humbly towards one another. To look at those around us in a higher esteem than we hold ourselves, with a heart of a servant. We are to humble ourselves under God's mighty hand, by just admitting how unworthy and undeserving we are in the scheme of everything and that if He so chooses to use such a lowly being, that it will be OUR honor to be able to serve such a powerful, wonderful, and merciful God. You ready for the last wipe? Check out 1 Peter 5:7 ("Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."). Is it a coincidence that it follows several verses that talk about humility? I don't think so! I think it is of the utmost significance. This is the line for those who think themselves mini-god's. Friend, this one is for me. If I truly want to be humble before my God, I need to learn that He needs to take all the anxieties, the insecurities and the difficulties from my self-created throne onto His all mighty one.

Here's to a full serving of some humble pie...

Until next time,

-C.

Your turn:

1.) Am I alone in this pie eatin' session?

2.) What do you try to cover up with pride? Be as specific or general as you please.

3.) Why is humility so tough for us human types?

4.) What are some specific ways to act humbly?