"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Emerson

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

One is the loneliest number...

"Language...has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of [it]."
-Paul Tillich

I again find myself alone for a few weeks while the hubby is training. I am reminded of the ache of not having my best friend and husband here with me each night, but I have also begun to see the redeeming value of a time of solitude. As a military wife, I am quickly learning that this is my state of being for the most part. Deployments and a ridiculous work schedule will give me more time by myself than with my husband. Before you start feeling pity for me, I want you to take a minute to look at this condition so many of us deem a pain rather than a glory.

Loneliness and solitude serve a spiritual purpose no matter how bad it can cause an ache in our side. Loneliness is as much as condition of the human experience as it is a condition of God's design. It is not without reason. Here is some scriptural proof:

1.) Loneliness forces us to turn to God.
"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted."Psalm 25:16 NIV
Loneliness is an attention grabber if ever our hearts had one. If there is anything that can force us to cry, "Hello God! It's me ________," loneliness is it. However, we often miss out on this opportunity to turn to Him and instead engage in activities that try to unravel the cord of solitude. Have you ever considered that perhaps the season or emotional aloneness you are going through could in fact be a way for God to finally get your attention and focus?

2.) God's power is revealed in the lonely.
"God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land." Psalm 68:6 NIV
God likes to do the things that are counter intuitive to our mere mortal minds. The poor are rich in His eyes. The weak are strong. So, it would naturally follow that the lonely, He sets in families. As I look at how God has blessed my military journey, I am always reminded of the "families" He has provided me at every stop along the way. In Virginia, it was a group of Marines I fed quite regularly. In Florida, it was a Navy boy and a Marine (who I also fed quite regularly...) down the street along with an abundance of Christian sisters who were in the same military boat as me. Here, I've found the most incredible church family I have ever had in my life and another bountiful group of sisters in Christ whose husbands serve in the armed services. You see, God set me, a lonely girl following a boy and his dream in these "families." Families that have supported me through laughter and tears and everything in between.

3.) Loneliness is an opportunity for prayer.
"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." Luke 5:16
One thing I have found in the course of training and deployment is that my prayer life is stronger when my husband is gone. Perhaps it is the fact that there is limited adult interaction or that I just need to talk to someone. Sometimes we are forced to withdraw. And sometimes, like Christ, we need to choose it. Christ would often leave all the people that surrounded him to pray. Loneliness is an opportunity, if we will take it.

From a practical side, times of separation give me time to focus on things that I normally can't when my husband is here. I hate stagnation. And when I see people becoming stagnate in seasons where they have a chance to develop and grow, I can become frustrated beyond belief. If we believe what we say we believe, than we must recognize that everything serves a purpose, even if we don't necessarily know it. God has been showing me that in my times of solitude, He wants me to use it for writing, a call He has placed in my heart. Good writers need to experience every ounce of emotion they can to become credible and so it is my belief that the more emotion I feel, the better writer I can become. For others, He may use times of loneliness to focus one's efforts on their physical health, learning a new hobby, or creating. The point is that if you are finding yourself in a season of feeling alone, are you asking the question, "God, what should be my focus right now?" Loneliness can hurl us into a state of depression or spur us towards progression. It just depends on one to make the choice.

Here's to the lonely hearts club...

Until next time,
-C.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Attitude

I've got a bad attitude lately. And not just one of minor annoyance, but a stomp my feet, throw my hands down, and temper tantrum like my two year old, kind.

You see, me and a certain government branch have not been getting along lately. While I won't tell you to whom I am referring that begins with U, ends with C and has a SM in the middle, I will tell you we have been fighting.

My husband once described me as the "moto" one in our relationship. I wore the tee shirts. I spoke the lingo. I loved the atmosphere of camis and boots. But, then a little something called "the fleet" happened and I found myself losing my moto faster than a CH-53.

But, God has been working on me and my attitude. While in part He feels compassion towards my situation, He also in part has been encouraging me to accept the life we have chosen. While I thought my hubby would be home by dinner time every night when not on a deployment, I have found myself with cold plates of food and no husband to report of until the wee hours of the night. Only to be followed by an early start and another late end.

Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we thought it would. Sometimes things just don't seem fair and we want to have drop on the floor, writhe and scream, like the toddlers we care for each and every day. Sometimes government officials write schedules that infuriate the spouses of those in the armed service. Sometimes a job can seem to take away so much from a family that we begin to forget the reasons why we took this route in the first place. It happens.

And while we are to cast our cares upon our God, because He cares for us, we are also to take a little attitude check. As Christians, circumstance does not dictate our chosen outlook on life, Christ does. You ready to take a look at attitude?

1.) It is to be Christ-like:
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness." Philippians 2:5-7 NIV
Christ was God. Yet, He was willing to humble himself to a lower position to complete the task He was given. We in the same ways need to humble ourselves, whether it being to the United States Marine Corps, accepting gratefully the opportunity to serve others as both a Marine and a Marine family, or something else in this life. If we believe that God is the God in control, we have to believe that every situation and everything that happens is for a reason.
2.) We have to get a new one:
"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24 NIV
Those of us in Christ aren't to have the same attitudes as we did before we knew Him. You see my flesh is constantly telling me, "ME, ME, ME!" "If I am not happy, then nothing else matters." But, my husband's job is an important one. It is one of great sacrifice on his and I am learning now, my part. Part of becoming more Christ-like in attitude is accepting that it isn't all about me as my flesh would like me to believe. Sometimes, people choose paths that have a greater significance than just themselves. Sacrifice is involved. But, even through that experience, we can come to understand more about the God we serve and His own sacrifice.
3.) We have to have a standard for it:
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:12-13 NIV
Part of my struggle has been justification of my attitude. I have been in a total child-like state answering God's pangs of conviction with, "Well, the Marine Corps started it..." and "It's not my fault!" But, then I get into God's word and I see verses like "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe." Philippians 2:14-15 NIV
It is then I am reminded that God didn't say, "Do everything except being a military wife without complaining..." Nope, while I would like it to have been a typo, His word is pretty clear: everything is to be done without complaining.
Attitude can be a make-or-break us thing. Bad ones can keep us from having a life filled with blessing because we are so focused on the hardship, difficulties, or imperfections. Good ones can get us through situations, relationships, and even careers in a way we never imagined possible. This is not a done deal for me. I am still working on it and will probably continue to be working on it for the remainder of my husband's contract. But, I have started to accept those things I just can't change and have begun to try to change the one thing I can: my attitude.
Here's to a new outlook...
Until next time,
-C.