"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Emerson

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Be careful what you wish for...

"Be careful what you wish for..." should be the motto for parenthood. It seems you are in a constant state of wishing your child would be in the next stage due to the exhausting nature of your current one. Yet, once you get there, you wish you could go back to the previous exhausting state because you miss it.

Parenthood can often become a wishing game, I've learned. From infancy to toddlerhood, I have caught myself on more than one occasion wishing for the opposite stage. Here are some of my wishful examples towards my own daughter's stages:

During infancy, I wished she would sleep during the night. In toddlerhood, I wished she would sleep during the day.

During infancy, I wished she'd start moving (roll, crawl, walk, you name it...). In toddlerhood, I wished she would stay still (sit, read, play dead).

During infancy, I wished she would tell me what she wanted. In toddlerhood, I wished she would stop telling me what she wanted.

During infancy, I wished she would poop less. In toddlerhood, I wished she'd poop more (in the big girl potty, that is).

If you are not careful, you can spend your whole parenthood wishing for something to come or that has already been. It is easy to focus on the difficulties of the stage you are in without focusing on the joys.

Right now, I wouldn't give up watching this toddler learning to speak, exploring the world around her, or finding humor in the most unusual of places. Yes, it is hard sometimes as I covet the days when I could leave her in a room while I took a shower or used the bathroom, without fear for her safety or that of my house. But, the stage she is in right now, is just filled with so much wonderment and laughter that I wouldn't go backwards nor would I speed up to the future.

Each stage is but a short season we get to enjoy these little people as they learn about the world around them. Each stage brings with it a new set of challenges, a new set of enjoyment, and a new set of clothes. I would hate to think I missed any of the precious moments I am given with this little one because I was too preoccupied with where we had already been or where we were heading. Perhaps one of the greatest challenges of parenthood is learning to live in the moment, and to enjoy every midnight feeding, every crayon mark on the wall, every school play, every soccer game, every school dance, every first date, every college acceptance. Because the truth of the matter is before long, we'll be wishing we could do it all over again.

Here's to enjoying the moment....

Until next time,
-C.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Acceptance...

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."
-The Serenity Prayer


I am not good at acceptance. I cannot seem to accept things, people, or circumstances that I believe should change. It has always been a struggle for me and probably, the root of most of my anxiety. When I see something that is broken, immediately I search for ways to fix it. When I see someone who is broken, I do the same and then become confused, angry, and distraught when they don't heed to my brilliant "suggestions."

God has really been breaking me on this. He has told me that if I don't get this piece of the puzzle, I am not going to get ANY of it. The truth is life is just a series of things we cannot change and yet, we are supposed to learn to live with it. And not just with an "ok, fine, whatever!" attitude, but one of contentment.


"The fear of the LORD leads to life:
Then one rests content, untouched by trouble." Proverbs 19:23


You see, our eyes are not supposed to be fixed on the things, people or circumstances we cannot change. Our eyes are to be fixed on the One who can. We are supposed to have a fear of God. This means, we are supposed to look at Him with such adoration and jaw dropping awe that our lives, whatever happens within them, can remain steady in His peace and calmness because we know His strength and glory.


I continue to struggle with this daily. I so desperately want certain things and certain people in my life to change for what I view to be "the better". Thank God He doesn't listen to my amateur solutions and instead can see the entire picture of what needs to happen.


No matter who or what in your life you believe needs to change, God is willing to give you a peace that transcends all understanding so that you no longer have to fear life and all of its circumstances, but rather, just fear (as in revere) the One in control of it all.


Here's to learning to accept the things we cannot change...


Until next time,
-C.
As always, post your thoughts, ideas, and topics...and become one of my "followers" so I know people actually read this. I know there are more of you out there, don't make me start naming the city and state from which you are following ;).

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Military wifery...

One of the best parts about being married to the military, is getting to meet such a diverse, talented group of military spouses. I've met the most amazing moms who can solve just about any child dilemma you are having, the most amazing crafters who can create jewelry, cards, and other types of art that deserves a spot in the best museums, and the most amazing writers who use blogging and other forums to write about their military adventures.

One of these talented ladies that I've met along our journey has created her own website, http://www.semperwifey.com/ . It is just an inspiring, fun, humorous look at all things military. I've been humbled to be able to be a part of this site and recently wrote a short piece about my 10 year anniversary as a Marine Corps honey. Be sure to check it out.

Ten years. Wow. That is a long time when you are only in your late 20's. I remember my first Marine Corps ball. As I proudly took my seat next to the best looking Lance Corporal there, a Gunnery Sergeant's wife leaned over and asked, "Date or Wife?" Proudly I exclaimed, "Date!" Only to watch as she swiveled around in her seat after an obligatory, "oh, that's nice, dear." Well, ten years since that day, I can boastfully declare "Wife!" If only, I could be asked that question just one more time.

Military life is an adventure that our civilian counterparts can never fully understand. It is filled with the highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and everything in between.

Here's to all the people who support some of the few and the proud...

Until next time,
-C.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Busy Moms...

So, while at Target today, I thought I found the answer to all my problems. There in the book aisle was the 336 page The Busy Mom's Guide to a Happy, Organized Home: Fast Solutions to Hundreds of Everyday Dilemmas. I was just about to pick it up when I realized I don't even have the time to read how to make my home happy and organized. You'd think the author would have realized that after about oh, I don't know...page 2.

If I ever write a Busy Mom's Guide, it will either be: a.) written in subtitles of Barney videos, b.) on a post it note, or c.) hidden in the information panel of laundry detergent.

Here's to busyness...

Until next time,
-C.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Parenthood 101

I knew a lot more about being a parent before I became one. Before I became one, my children were only going to eat organic foods and they would not be allowed to watch television. They were going to sleep on a strict schedule set by the best and brightest of medical minds, found in the pages of your typical go-to parenting tomes. Yes, before I became a parent, I was the most amazing mother ever.

Well, then I became a parent. And all my rules seemed to no longer apply, not because I didn't still believe in their value, but because I didn't take into consideration one very important element in my plans of perfect parenthood. I forgot the part about having a child...

You see, now that I am a parent, I've come to realize that much of parenthood is merely about survival. Sometimes compromises are made in ways you once vowed you never would just so that today does not become the day that mommy goes off the deep end.

Here are some of my top survival methods:
1.) Diaper Bags: Whoever came up with the concept of keeping everything you could ever need on an exursion out, neatly packed in one place, was in fact brilliant. And this concept should be one that I have fully embraced. But the thing I've learned about diaper bags is that they don't repack themselves (shocking, right?) and it requires an added amount of brainpower that my sleep deprived mind doesn't have, to remember to replenish the needed supplies. So, I've found that the best form of preparation is increasing the size of your "diaper bag" to include the entire floorboard of your car. Lost a sock? It's ok, because there are ten more hidden beneath the pile of cheerios and toys found conviently located on the floor of your car.

2.) Meal time: Clean floors are overrated. That is all I have to say about this one.

3.) Bed Time: At some point in every parental journey, you will pat yourself on the back as your child finally begins to sleep in their own bed for an extended period of time. Yes, you will beam from ear to ear as you explain to strangers that your child now sleeps through the night. Then, the shift happens. For some in comes in later infancy and for others, it is during full fledged toddler-dom. Yes, that beautiful little spawn starts to decide that the sleeping arrangements you were oh so proud of just moments ago, are no longer to her liking. And if you are really lucky (like I am), she will insist on your presence at every moment of her precious slumber. And sometimes, in times of survival, you will accept your fate and just let the little one's chubby little thighs karate chop you in the throat as she flails about between you and your beloved, at all hours of the night for no other reason than, you must sleep...she must sleep...we all must sleep.

4.) Clothes: For many women, having children is like a reversion to your own childhood. Yes, you finally have a life sized doll. This one pees and poops just like the Baby Alive you had at five years of age. Although, now the poop and pee is not quite as exciting as you rememered your plastic friend emitting. In addition to this newfound excitement, you now get to dress your "doll" any manner you choose. Oh, and the fun in selection begins! You find the most precious of precious outfits and slap it on like the perfect mother you are and in no time watch as your child hurls, burps, poo-splodes, or some other equally terrifying outcome. Yes, that pretty little doll outfit you had so eagerly changed your baby into is now permanently marked with a reminder of her latest expulsion. So, I've come up with some rules: no clothes over $15 new, nothing over $5 used, and white is not an option, no matter how adorable it is.

5.) Parenting Advice: Parenting advice is like, well there is a certain colloquial phrase that may not be appropriate for this platform, but it ends with "everyone has one." It is amazing how many people are willing to offer there two cents to tell you the best way in which to raise your angel. Some of this advice will come from the most unusual of sources: the lady next to you on the airplane, the man in the McDonald's, or your neighbor in the adjacent bathroom stall. Yes, everyone will be quick to offer you solutions to problems you didn't even know you had. Many of these solutions will revolve around your child's core tempature and the wonderfully selected outfit you recently put them in (which is now covered in an "expulsion" of some sort), your child's eating habits, or my personal favorite, your child's public displays of err, behaviors. The best survival method is the ol' "walk and smile". It goes like this: Parenting advice exits unsolicited source. Your face contorts to your best cheese grin and your legs begin to rapidly move in the opposite direction of the consultation gratis. Hitting old ladies will not win you mommy of the year awards, no matter how deserving they are.

6.) Mommy Comparisions: The thing they never ever told you in any birthing class was that as soon as you had that butterball, you would forever be set on a spiral of mommy comparisions. It begins innocently enough: in play groups, parks, Gymboree classes, Chick-fil-A's or any other place where groups of mommies congregate. It starts with the question, how old is she? And then it spiral, spiral, sprials down like the tornado that it is. If you are lucky, the age of your child and your inquiring companion's will significantly differ. If not, you are in store for a list of milestone checks like you've never experienced. You will be asked as to what percentages, level of competence and any other mommy-determined accomplishment to determine two things: A.) whose child is more advanced and B.) who is the better mommy. It comes from the sweetest of women and in such a way that you won't know what has happened to you until you begin to question your child's development and the competence you possess in rearing your pride and joy. Survival tip: claim mom-nesia and say that you do not recall your doctor's latest statistic updates and just say yes when asked, is your child doing ______ yet?

Yes, I was a far better mom before I had a child than I am now that I have a vivacious, "spirited" youngster (Survival tip #7: look for new ways to describe "bouncing off the walls" and "hurricane".) But at the end of the day, even though I haven't followed all the medically and socially prescribed mommy rules, I still have a kid who loves me more than anything and in my humble, momma opinion, is just pretty darn cool....even if she eats things that are overly processed and could watch television for a whole day straight if allowed.

Here's to making your own rules...

Until next time,
-C.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

History

As I sit by my window and watch a fresh blanket of snow fall to the ground, I can't help but think of today's historical events. The purity and beauty I see outside my window is reminiscent of what we as America have seen today. Regardless of your political orientation, today marks a day our children will read about in history books. Today marks a day in which, anyone, regardless of the color of their skin, ethnicity, socio-economic status or any other secondary factor to who they are can serve the country in the highest policitcal office we have. This is monumental and I am overjoyed to have been alive to see history come on the heels of celebrating Dr. King's birthday yesterday.

I am prayerful today. I think there is still a lot of division amongst Americans that I don't think will ever be resolved. As a country, both republicans and democrats, all want a savior, some political superhero to burst through the clouds and bring our country through some of our difficult times. For some, they see the new President of the United States as that savior. For others, they see him as a new adversary to be fought.

I don't think either of these outlooks is fair to this mere mortal who just hours ago, took an oath that will forever change his life and the lives of all Americans. The truth is he is just a man, who is going to face a countless number of decisions that will impact us here at home and those in countries around the globe. He is going to make mistakes, many of them. He is going to make some choices that will hopefully change the course of history for the better. But, at the end of the day, he will still not be the savior Americans are looking for.

It is dangerous to put our hopes and dreams into the hands of another person because in case you haven't noticed, humanity is flawed and frailed in all sorts of weakness and evils. All we can do is place our hope in the God of the universe who will hopefully, be the one true guide in this country's future actions.

Regardless of who you voted for in November, we each have a duty: both as Americans and as children of God, to support this new leader. He is going to fail, many a times over, but it is our duty to pray for him as he seeks the guidance of experts in all sorts of fields and Lord willing, the guidance of the One true expert.

So, let's all rejoice in this new chapter in American history. Let us all be glad that America has finally become a nation in which Dr. King's dream and ultimately, the dream of our creator rings true, a nation "where [we] will not be judged by the color of [our] skin but by the content of [our] character".

Here is to history...

Until next time,
-C.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

More than a Conqueror


"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:36-39


Do you ever just get tired...I mean, really, really tired of constantly living in a state of defeat? I was thinking about that this past week. I am just so sick and tired walking around as this wounded, broken person that I am right now. A little voice keeps giving its two cents saying the famous, "Yeah, but..." line I love to hear. You know what I am talking about, right? Here is how it goes in my head (and if you didn't think I was crazy before, this should surely solidify any questions as to my sanity...):

Self: I am tired of feeling so defeated.
Little Voice: Yeah, but you have reasons to be defeated.
Self: A lot of people have far worse circumstances than I do. A lot of people have had a lot worse things happen to them.
Little Voice: Yeah, but they haven't had this happen to them (Fill in this with whatever your "this" is
)
Self: True, but a lot of people have dealt with worse, and have grown and become better. They have overcome the difficulties.
Little Voice: Yeah, but they didn't have to deal with all of these other things. (Fill in these with whatever your "these" is)

This conversation continues on and on for a good while before I finally just give in to that Little Voice and accept that obviously it must know something more than I do and that maybe it is right. Maybe I should feel defeated, because man, oh man, let's face it, what I've dealt with in my life is tough. And while I know I am tremendously blessed, I can't help but think that I am not quite as blessed in this area or that area as I could have been.

Am I alone in this cycle of defeat? Does anyone else get to that place of getting ready to pull yourself out of a pit, only to be convinced to stay just a little bit longer? I've tried everything to get out of that place. I've tried to concentrate only on my blessings. I've tried affirmations, proclamations, and emancipations. But it seems, that little voice is right there to tug at my pant leg and pull me back down into that place of defeat.

But friends, we are not the sheep awaiting slaughter. We have nothing to fear. Not death. Not dire circumstances. Not people's words. Not even our own selves. Nothing, absolutely nothing in this world can separate us from Christ and His love for us. Even in my moments of sheer defeat, in moments where I can no longer argue with that Little Voice, nothing can separate me from the most incredible love, the most incredible wholeness I will ever experience.

I know that yet why do I continue to live in a state of being overcome? Why do I allow myself to throw in the towel and accept the loss? Is it because a part of me enjoys the "woe is me" song I can sing and the "pity party" I can throw?


I am not quite sure I know the answer to the question of why. I am not even sure the answer really matters. I do know however that I am tired. Sick and tired of living this existence that gets beat up and punched every time life gets a little harder than before. I want to just stop it. Stop living that life of defeat, but I am convinced that I cannot do it on my own strength. I've just laid it down this week, friends. I really have. I have just thrown my hands up and said, "Lord, you deal with it, because I can't!" (Which has been the same remedy to dealing with a certain toddler who not only refuses to sleep in her crib, but also refuses to stay in it and can launch herself out like a pole vaulter...) I am tired of being tired.

How about you, friends? What are you tired of? What circumstance, emotion, person, addiction, or hurt has held you down until you have become so doggone exhausted that you can't even see straight? Are you ready to just lay it down? Are you ready to just say, "I can't take it anymore!"? It is hard to do. It is hard to get that tired that you are willing to just pass it off to someone else to just deal with it. But, when you do get that tired, you will for the first time feel more rested than you ever have!

Your thoughts:


Please share your thoughts in my comments section:
1.) What does it mean to you to become "more than a conqueror"?
2.) What keeps Christians in a place of defeat? Why do so many of us struggle with living lives of defeat when we have the one and only true form of freedom?
3.) What do you need to get really tired of and just give up? What emotion, circumstance, person, addiction or hurt has you tied down and living a life of defeat? Are you ready to give it away?

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Judge Not...

Today, we tried a new church. I know, I know...we sound like church hoppers. It is just that the church we have been going to is almost an hour away and we really want to get involved in our next church home. It just doesn't seem feasible with a toddler and an hour drive to church. So, we tried one closer to home.

It was more traditional, which is hard for me sometimes because I often find myself fighting the "traditional" church ways. I hate legalism and all it entails. I hate having to dress a certain way or be a certain way to feel accepted in a body of believers. Today, the church we tried was talking about this very topic, which made me straighten up in my seat and listen closely. The pastor was preaching on the very topic I have been writing about in my previous blogs: how Christians today seem so unauthentic to the world.

I liked it. I liked that what looked to be a more "traditional" church, recognized the world's view of Christianity and was taking a stand on it. The pastor preached mostly on hypocrisy and how hypocrisy in the church was perhaps one of the things that made Jesus the angriest. The preacher talked about how hypocrisy is NOT struggling with sin as a Christian, because we all do that. Hypocrisy is when our behaviors do not match our beliefs.

It made me think of all the ways my behaviors have not matched my faith. I think the biggest struggle for me has been a critical spirit and a spirit of judgement. I come from a long line of judgemental people and while that is by no means an excuse, it does help me recognize that I have to fight even harder to rid myself of it. Most of the time, my judgement truly comes from a place of love. Weird, I know, but I find when I am passing judgement on someone it is because I desire them to change their actions so that their life would be better (or at least my version of better). I think I just often forget how most of us know what we should be doing and just need someone to love us in spite of our actions.

Often times, I think it is the very things I hate about myself that I am quickest to point out in others:
"You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment?" Romans 2:1-3

It makes me wonder, why instead of passing judgement on someone else who is doing the same thing I am doing, do I not try to change myself? Is it laziness? Is it fear? I am not quite sure what it is in me that allows me to be quick to criticize my neighbor while turning around and doing the same thing myself or a variation of it.

I think for me, I need to truly come to the understanding that:
1.) There is only one judge and it ain't me! It requires a lot of emotional energy to find all the things other people aren't doing right and breeds inside of me a certain amount of negativity. I don't have to have this burden because God is truly the only one who has to judge!
2.) People need love and acceptance just as they are. If I truly desire to be Christ like as I confess I do, I need to start acting more and more like him. I think the greatest lesson from Christ was His ability to love people just as they were. He didn't go to the prostitute with condemnation in order to get her to follow Him. He went to her with love and acceptance. He hung out with the people that I would most likely avoid making eye contact with if on a public street. If I am to become truly His follower, I need to make my actions reflect His in the way that I treat each and every person I come in contact with.
3.) Judging people does not get them to change. This is the biggest lesson I've learned the past few months. I can pass judgement until I am blue in the face but that is not going to truly change people's hearts or actions. The only one that can do that is God and God alone so the only thing I can do is pray for the change, while releasing the person and the course of action required to change them to God. I can be there to help the person along the way if they so desire my help, but that is it. We cannot make people change!

I guess the reason I share all this is because one of the things the pastor talked about today is how if we truly want to bring authenticity to an unbelieving world, we have to allow for transparency in our own lives. A lot of times when I share my struggles, people are often surprised and say things like, "wow, I thought you had it all together!" I know I am often trying to put that image out there and for what reason, I don't quite know, but I have really been convicted about how we as Christians must share our struggles and our problems in order to be transparent and authentic.

If you've ever felt my judgement, please accept this as my apology and know that the heart in which it came from was truly one of love, not malintentions. If you are the praying type, pray for me that God would replace my eyes and judgement with His eyes and love.

Your turn:
I'd like to make this a more "interactive" blog so please respond in my comments section. You can do so anonymously if you prefer. Feel free to respond to any of the following and respnd to other posts as well:
1.) Do you believe today's church to be authentic? Why or why not? If you are a non-christian, what has been your experience with the church: positive or negative? If you are a Christian, what has been your experience within the church: a place of authenticity or of hypocrites?
2.) What affect does hypocrisy in the church have on non-believers?
3.) Do you ever feel like a hypocrite in your belief system? Why or why not?
4.) What is something that you struggle with that you feel you try to hide from others? Does that thing make you a hypocrite? What keeps you from sharing with others in the church about your struggles?

Sunday, January 4, 2009

You rang?

Hello my blogging friends!

I am back from an uneventful (thank the Lord), albeit not relaxing Christmas and New Year's. I found myself battling what felt like the world's worst ever case of the stomach flu from the night (3am to be percise) after Christmas all the way up to New Year's Eve. Nothing like ringing in the new year with sickness! Anyway, I am back and healthy, hoping you are as well!

Here is part two to of my responses to my inspiration from my friend, Christi. Thanks again Christi for the great ideas!

Christi writes:
"How does someone really hear the Lord talking to them, telling them His plan? People claim they act some way or made a decision because "God told them to." Does the plan or will you hear from God change or do WE just change? Ex: I used to think God was telling me to go to college for a certain profession, I was sure of it. It felt like a calling. Now it doesn't. Did I make up that calling or did God really impress that on my heart and now it is something different?"

____________________________________________________________________
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)
On the day of my 21st birthday, I was celebrating not only the milestone of becoming what I considered a "real adult", but also my college graduation. My parents encouraged me to seek further education and while I had an interest in psychology, the fear of the GRE math section focused my sights on the legal field. I prayed and prayed asking God to direct my path and it seemed He kept guiding me towards pursuing a law degree. He even laid verses on my heart like, "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed." Psalm 82:3 (NIV) I was sure that I was destined to be the next Atticus Finch or Thurgood Marshell, in a courtroom somewhere, fighting for people who were neglected and disenfranchised.

When I got acceptance letters from some of the best law schools in the country, I thought it was God's way of directing my steps so I kept moving forward. I even got into my top choice, University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. Then, an offer for an almost full ride scholarship came from a smaller, lesser known law school in Alabama. The dean of the school was friends with one of the greatest legal minds in civil rights law, Morris Dees, whom I hoped to work for one day. I couldn't imagine God giving me any more clearer direction as to what He wanted me to do so I accepted the scholarship, said no to my top choice school, and moved to Birmingham, Alabama, the farthest place I'd ever been from home.

Fast forward six months. While everyone else in my law class seemed to be thriving in the super competative environment that was law school, I was miserable. I hated the fact that there was only one test that determined your entire grade for the class. I hated reading mounds and mounds of the driest, most boring material in the world and yet still having no clue what the law said about anything. I hated the fact that people hid library books and held secret study groups because they didn't want to allow anyone else the chance to understand or become better than them. I hated the fact that my professor told us to get over thinking that the law was about fairness, because it wasn't. Everything inside of me felt like I had made perhaps the most monumental mistake in my life and the fear of exposing that mistake to the rest of the world, ate me up day by day.

Law school dropout. It just sounded so pathetic. It sounded like a quitter. I hated being a quitter. I couldn't understand how it seemed like God had been revealing His will for me so clearly and now that I was following it, it felt like I had made a wrong turn somewhere. In a deep state of anguish, I cried out to God, asking Him to just tell me what to do so that I knew where I was supposed to be. Then, one day as I was sitting in my room, crying and praying, He led me to a passage in The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. There on the left margin, in big bold letters, it said, "God doesn't care about what you do, He cares about who you are." Talk about a screeching halt. What? God didn't care if I was a lawyer or not? I could just be a person who sought Him with all my heart and might, and He wouldn't care that the letters JD didn't follow my last name?

In that moment, I decided to quit law school. I finished out the semester and brought my parents my transcript with the words Dean's List emblazoned underneath my A's and B's. Then, I explained that I would be dropping out of law school and pursuing something else, which I wasn't quite sure about, but I thought it would be teaching. For those of you who are parents and those of you who have parents, you can imagine how bringing home good grades from a school that has given you free tuition and saying you are quitting, goes with two dumbfounded parents sitting in front of you.

But, at that moment, it didn't matter. Everyone elses opinion didn't matter, because God had clearly told me that He didn't care if I was a lawyer or not. If it wasn't what was right for me, then He was okay with that decision. For awhile, I would look back and wonder, had I misheard God's call for me? Can I trust myself in my next pursuit to know that I am truly hearing God's call for my life? How will I know if what I am doing is what He desires me to do?

But, God really changed me through that experience. It was humbling in many respects. I had always valued education and people with lots of it, and God just reminded me that a person's worth is not determined by what they know or how many letters follow their name. Their worth is intrinsically determined by Him and Him alone. To try something and to fail or to give up can be shattering to our self-image and how we view ourselves, but God taught me that His view should be the only one that matters to us.

Do I think now that I misheard God's call for me at the time? Absolutely not! I think what I didn't understand is that sometimes the outcome of God's call for us may not be the outcome we expected. I think I had prayerfully determined my steps and God guided me, but where He guided me was somewhere other than where I thought He would. How silly of me to assume that I knew the plans He had for me!

It can often be gutwrenching to try to determine if we are following God's will for our lives or our own will. It seems to get fuzzy and clouded at times as we try to figure out if God is giving us direction or not. Let's take a look at what God says about discerning His will from our own:

(1) Pray!: It seems like this is the answer to everything, doesn't it? His word says," Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 You can't make it any plainer than that. His will for us is to pray continually in all circumstances with a heart of joy and thanksgiving. So, if you are ever wondering what His will for you is, it is to PRAY so that you can learn to decipher His more specific will for various decisions you have to make in your life.

(2) Learn about Him and His character: How can you know what another person would decide in a given situation without knowing that person intimately? Think about it. Your best friend, your spouse, your child. Given 100 hypothetical situations, you could probably predict with a certain amount of accuracy what they would choose or do in any one of them. It is because you know them so intimately that you know how they think, how they respond, and how they act. In the same way, we need to know God intimately to determine how He thinks and how He would act in the situations that we might face. Romans 12:2 (we keep coming back to this one, don't we?) says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Only when we renew our minds daily with God's word do we begin to test and know what His perfect will is for our choices and our life!

(3) Seek counsel: Proverbs 15:22 says, "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." As you are making your plans, get good advice from trustworthy, Christ-seeking people. Ask a spiritual mother or father what they believe you should do. A new perspective might give you insight that you hadn't before considered and God might use another person's wisdom to direct your steps.

(4) Commit all your plans to Him: "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3 Often times, our choices are between two very good options. I could have chosen to become a lawyer and help a lot of people or I could have moved on with my plans to become a teacher. Both were fine pursuits and God could have used me in either profession. Sometimes, it doesn't matter what we choose, it just matters that we give Him our plans and be willing to accept any and all changes He makes to them. My study Bible says that we need to, "[trust] God as if everything depended on Him, while working as if everything depended on us." I think that is a wonderful definition of what it means to commit our plans to Him.

(5) Know that no matter what, He can and will work everything out for your good: Romans 8:28 tells us that we can know that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." No matter what choices we make, no matter how much we think we heard the will of God yet stumble in our steps, God will consistently work all situations and circumstances out for our good. We just have to learn and accept that our good sometimes means character lessons and growth, not everything working out perfect and seemlessly.

As you seek to discover God's will for you, your life, and your decisions, remember that "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9. You may start down a path you honestly believe to be God's will for your life at the moment, only to have the path fade away before your very eyes. You may make a choice or decision that you whole heartedly believe God to be calling you to do, only to find the outcome to not be as you expected. Just remember that ultimately God is in control and though things may not have turned out as you exactly planned, they turned out just as He did!

Here's to learning to answer His call...

Until next time,
-C.

P.S. Please post any topic ideas you have for future blogs in my comment section!! They are great challenges for me! Make 'em tough so I have to dig deep! Also, if you are a regular reader of my blog, please make yourself known in my "follower" section. It quells my curiousity...