"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Emerson

Monday, August 31, 2015

On doing it all


I don’t know how you do it all. I get that a lot. I used to think it a compliment, people thinking I must be all together and organized. If they only knew, they’d think I’m a fraud.  If you’re a “doer”, you probably hear the same thing. Are you ready for my secrets?

-          I don’t sleep much. Usually 5-6 hours tops.

-          My sink is just about always full of dishes. And by full, I mean lining the surrounding countertops as well.

-          I have a young lady come and do my laundry and help me clean every other week. She used to come every week. My life has been even more chaotic since she had to switch to twice a month due to another job she has.

-          Often times, I overbook our weekends full of stuff to do for the various things I am involved in. This means very little downtime or rest or renewal.  

-          I push my kids to the limits of naps and bedtimes. We skip naps some days. Bedtimes are erratic which means behavior can be equally erratic.

-          My husband sometimes gets frustrated by the fullness of our calendar.

-          Clutter fills most rooms most days. I pile with intentions to deal with piles. But, I run out of time to deal with piles.

-          My workouts are sporadic at best.

-          I taught my kid to do laundry, not because I’m so good at teaching responsibility, but because I just stinking hate it and procrastinate doing it.

-          I don’t remember the last time I cleaned my bathrooms.

-          We eat out entirely way too much.

-          Most of the time, even though I’m constantly seeing people, I don’t feel like I see anyone.

-          I forget a lot of things unless I put them in to my phone. Until that time my phone erased my whole calendar. Then I just forgot a lot.

-          My floors often have a strange, sticky film that I can’t eradicate.

-          Every night, I eat some form of ice cream to take the edge off because I just don’t like the taste of wine. If there are Drumstick ice cream cones in my house, I will often eat two a night because I find it best to get rid of all temptations as quickly as possible. One time, I ate three.

-          To do’s are constantly being re-written on the next day’s to do list.

-          I don’t get much time to go off to do the soul filling stuff I want to. All my babysitter fund goes to various meetings I have for all the stuff I am involved in.

-          My eating habits are something awful. The pace of my day almost always results in a skimpy breakfast, a lunch entirely comprised of chips and salsa and then eating everything within an arm’s length between the hours of 5-9pm. I dehydrate myself all the time because drinking water just takes too much time.

-          I am always tired. Always.

See that? This is the truth—take the person you think has it the most together, the most organized, the most productive and take a long look in. If there is one thing I have learned as a doer it is that something ALWAYS gives. Every YES to one thing results in a NO to something else. There are always cracks beneath the surface of everyone’s life. It’s so easy to look from the outside of other people and think they have something I don’t have. It is so tempting to believe they have it so together.

But, none of us do. We are all hot messes bubbling underneath. Some of us are better at keeping the messy parts from boiling over than others, but we all are in a constant tug of war with our time, our commitments, and our schedules. God has been taking me on a journey in to a deeper understanding of His grace and how nothing is required of me. Oh how freeing it is to know that I don’t have to do it all because He already did everything for me! That grace is what gives me order in my daily chaos. It is what frees me from the yokes I so want to enslave and tangle myself with. Those inner thoughts that want to scream you need to do more. Get it together. Why can’t you do it all? Why can't you be more? Why aren't you enough? 

I love the Message version of Matthew 11:28-30:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.
Colossians 1:17 says it this way:
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

HE is how I do anything worth doing. He multiplies time when it feels like I have none left. He gives me the strength to get the one thing He has for me done in a day. He quiets my mind when I keep running through everything I didn’t get to in a given day. If there is anything within me, any facet of life that looks like I have it together, it is Him alone holding it together. On our own, we are all undone.
The next time you are tempted to compare your doings to another, just remember they don’t do it all. In every one of our lives there is a give and take in everything. Christ alone is our strength. He gives us the ability to do exactly what He has for us to do. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Here’s to all the hot messes!

Until next time,

-C.

Friday, August 14, 2015

The Gentle Whisper Revisited

An oldie but a goodie...here is a blog I wrote a few years back"

This scripture just pierced my soul and I am wondering if it will pierce yours.
"The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper."
-1 Kings 19:11-12 (NIV)


Elijah's story is that of a most faithful servant, who but in the same breath almost lost His faith altogether. In his inhale, he was amazed by God's faithfulness to him, yet in the exhale was struck by paralyzing fear as he faced adversity.

And as wind, earthquakes, and fire erupted before his eyes, he kept looking for his God. Yet, it wasn't in the loud, powerful promulgations that God made known His presence, but rather, through a soft, gentle whisper.


How often do we find ourselves like Elijah? Believing wholeheartedly in the power of our God in one drawed in breath, and then, watching that belief all but disapear in the next. Then, as God comes to reveal Himself to us, we become so fixated on monstrous, palpable demonstrations that we miss the faint sound of His voice saying, "Here I am!"


Can we get our respiration to reflect the truth of God's character? Can we find belief when circumstance entices us towards doubt? Can we focus our ears and eyes not on the sounds of the disasters that whiz by us, but on the gentle whisper that comes afterwards?


Faith is not for the meandering charlatan, but rather for the persistent pathfinder, who blazes through the unkown towards the sound of a simple hushed utterance.


Here's to hearing the gentle whisper...

Until next time,

-C.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Cliche Homeschool Mom Room Tour

What's a discussion of homeschooling without a cliché room tour post, right? First question new or potential homeschoolers always ask besides "what curriculum do you use?" is "do I have to have a homeschool room?" The answer: absolutely not. But, if you start to amass a lot of homeschool related materials and you have a space in your house, it may be something you want to consider. I've seen people convert all kinds of spaces: dining rooms, offices, nooks in their house so think outside the box if you decide to do one. This is actually our second homeschool space in this house. Our first was upstairs in a tiny room off the bonus room, but it got too hard the more kids I added to the mix to be that far from the kitchen, laundry room, etc. So, my poor husband agreed to convert the biggest kid bedroom off the main living space. It serves as a playroom as well and it required us giving up a bedroom and ultimately the upstairs bonus room because that is now where two kids share a room.
 
It's nice for the kids to be close when I need to run to throw another load in or make a snack or lunch. Downside is this room is one you walk by when you walk in to our living room so it is always a disaster, BUT it has doors! I highly recommend a space you can shut/hide because homeschool rooms can get messy :)
 
So this is as clean as this room is because I'm prepped for school starting Monday and I've been keeping kids away. However, its usually a hot mess. So envision this, but messier in the day to day. Oh and sorry for the low quality iPhone pictures...I am not quite a legit blogger yet with a fancy camera but I am working on it.
 
Our board/book area:
Sonlight gives you a ton of books and we are now on our 4th year of using it so I had to get more storage. Bookshelves get destroyed by Toddley-Tot so I resorted to these plastic drawers for storing our Sonlight books and our science and holiday ones. . 
 
 
 
 
This is the view from the door way. If I were to do this space again, I'd invest in a bigger table. We are always running out of room on this one and pretty soon, Toddley-Tot will be joining us at the table.

 
On the other side is a closet that we took the doors off of to keep little fingers from getting pinched. We were going to add curtains but it just hasn't happened.

 
This is my craft supply/school supply closet. I bought this cabinets from Lowe's I think and they have been super handy. I HIGHLY recommend child locking the top, otherwise expect many craft supply explosions (which often happen when big sister forgets to lock it back). Oh and these are anchored to the wall for added security.

 
This is our math manipulatives (top shelf), current curriculum (middle two), and teacher resources (bottom) cabinet. Again, locked. Because my kids are like small natural disasters.

 
This is my desk and our computer which we use daily, mostly for cd's/music. Flower Child is an artist so music is a must for her. I used to have a classical or Seeds Family Worship only rule which I am going to get back to this year. I allowed way too much Kidz Bop and Disney Pandora last year. Music really can set the tone for the day so we need calm or Jesus.
 
Seeds are AMAZING! We actually won the entire set from a Facebook contest they held, but basically they are scripture verses set to music in a non-annoying way. It's helped us all learn God's word, which is a huge struggle for me.
 
The wall is pretty bare because usually we hang all of our art and projects. I just took down all of last year's so now we just have our My Plate nutrition chart and our 1st day of school signs. I also can't take down the cute Dr. Seuss craft from my oldest's preschool days.
 
The green bin is all of our current books. It helps to have a place for them to go back in to after our lessons each day.


 
This is the reading corner. Target saves the day with a floppy elephant bean bag chair and book rack. I try and keep my classics in the book rack, but with 3 kids, that is always short lived.


 
This year I'm trying something new with workboxes. Flower Child will have a lot more independent work so she needs a place to store all her work. I found this boxes at Walmart and filled them with fun school supplies. Our first day we are having a treasure hunt and these will be at the end of the hunt as a treasure. The Dude had to have one to of course to keep from any threenager meltdowns from occurring. 
 
This is another new add for our year. I printed a daily checklist for Flower Child to complete. I laminated it and will update it each night. This is what I will use in those moments I need time with the other two. She can get started without me having to tell her what needs to be done.
 
Basic calendar/weather area. All finds from the Dollar Store and Target dollar bins.


 
This is also a new addition to our year. I really wanted to do some character training and vocab stuff. These are dry erase boards from Walmart. I started with diligence because that is something that is a definite struggle up in here. Ha! Oh and look, impatient is our first vocab word of the year. Coincidence? I think not. 
 
Another new add this year is this cool Grace and Courtesy Chart I found here . I laminated it and am going to check each time the kids show one of the graces and courtesies like: saying please or thank you, asking "can I help?", or using kind words. I'm going to have them pick a prize like an ice cream at our local Fro Yo place and when the chart is full, we will take the day to do that. Just a little way to encourage kindness for us all.

 
Well, that concludes my first ever homeschool tour blog. The truth of the matter is that the beginning of the year is always filled with high hopes and organization. By the end, we are just making it through. It's life, mamas! Don't stress. Do what you can. Focus on what's most important and call it a day. Don't let this make you feel anything other than just a chance to see how someone else does things. The way you do it is perfectly fine so don't let this be another discouraging point of comparison!  

Your turn: Do you have a homeschool room? If so, what are some cool areas you have? If you've liked these homeschool posts, what other stuff would you like to see?

Here's to trying to get some order in the chaos!
-C.

Friday, August 7, 2015

Back to school, back to school...

Monday will begin our 5th year of homeschooling! I can't believe I've stuck with it this long...let me backup. I was NEVER going to homeschool. I thought it was weird. I thought it would turn my kids in to socially awkward recluses. I thought it required a whole lot of skills that God just didn't hand me when He created me (like patience...). So what made me about face on this whole education at home thing?

It really started from a place of fear. My oldest was approaching kindergarten and I just couldn't imagine releasing her in to the big, bad world quite yet. Go be a light kid in a whole lot of darkness. So we gave it a test run for pre-k because what's the big deal if you mess up pre-k, right?

Good news was I didn't mess up pre-k too bad and I realized I kinda loved this whole homeschooling thing. But I also realized it was really, really, really hard. I spent every.single.day. with my little "angel" of a 4 year old. Every vice and character flaw was flagrantly displayed. Mine and hers. I realized I'm extremely selfish (all day long my goal is just five minutes...), lazy (seriously, why do I keep checking Facebook instead of doing dishes?), and impatient. Oh, and my kids...they are little sinning versions of me too. Awesome.

God began to really work on me through this homeschooling stuff. Not only did He start to use it as a vehicle to sanctify me, but He also changed my reasons as to why I was doing it in the first place.

I don't have a complicated answer really. I don't believe the public school system is evil or common core is the death of American free thinking. I don't believe that homeschooling will ensure my kids love and follow Jesus. I don't believe homeschooling can protect them from pain, suffering, or bad influences. I don't believe our choice to homeschool makes us any holier than my neighbors down the street who send their kids off to public school. My sole reason I homeschool is one word: TIME.

Two years is what I calculated kids will spend in a school based on an 8 hour school day at 180 days a year. So instead of 18 years, I'd only be getting 16. It didn't sit well with me. I wanted more time and I felt God was offering me that opportunity. Time to teach them about becoming a disciple of Christ. Time to teach them about the greats of literature, the arts, and sciences. Time to get to know them so intimately that I know how best to present a topic and what excites them and what they are gifted in. Time to navigate all their sin and help them grow and change.

Homeschool is just a vehicle for more time to me. Nothing more. Nothing less. It doesn't make me more patient than you if your kids ride the bus everyday. It doesn't make me a better parent because I taught my kid to read. Secretly, all homeschool moms harbor a tinge of jealously towards their traditional school friends who get a couple kidless hours a day to get things done around the house. More time comes with more messes and more life happening in our home than most families. More time means less time for cleaning, working out and reading books I want to read. Time always costs something, whether we are talking about homeschool or work or passions or dreams.

I say all this because I thought I'd share our curriculum picks for the 2015-2016 school year. I always want to preface any discussions on our freedoms as believers with a deep, unmistakable undertone of grace. How we choose to educate our children is not dictated in Scripture outside of a few verses like Deuteronomy 6:5-9:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
 
You can without a doubt love the Lord your God with all your heart and impress that love on your children as you drive them to school or wake them up for math at the kitchen table. You can do it no matter what way you've chosen to educate them. But if you do decide that God is calling you to homeschool, here are some of our picks for the year. I always give this piece of advice to those considering homeschool. First, buy two books: Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay Clarkson and 101 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum by Cathy Duffy. These will help you determine what curriculums/philosophies fit best for you, your child and your situation. There is no one size fits all for homeschooling. Besides, that is probably part of the reason why you chose it in the first place. Second, take everyone's opinions with a grain of salt. People get very opinionated in homeschooling circles. There is SO much out there that will produce similar outcomes (knowing stuff) so don't feel like you HAVE to do what people say, even if they are veterans. As with all things, listen to the advice and then you and God have a pow wow on where He wants you to land:
 
Preschool for the dude:
My oldest got to experience a traditional preschool environment. I decided to give homeschool preschooling a try this year because the dude is chomping at the bit (he wants to learn to read). I didn't want to jip him out of all the fun crafts and art projects, but with a toddling-tot, a threenager, and planning school for a Flower Child of a 3rd grader, there was no way I could waste precious time hunting for all things cute on pinterest. Enter Mother Goose Time . You can order a box a month and they send you EVERYTHING you need: books, manipulatives, craft items (minus a few common household ones). Boom. Sold. It's our first time trying it so I'll let you know if we order next months as well...
 
We are also doing Teach your child to read in 100 Lessons. I didn't use it with my first, but it looks simple enough and since he is rearing to go, we are going to give it a try!
 
 
Third Grade for the Flower Child:
Third Grade sort of had me a little scared. It seems like such a foundational year in one's education. I still remember learning about the various types of writing (expository, persuasive, etc.) and cursive at this point in my educational history. Memorizing those pesky multiplication facts (which I never quite did). It's like it's starting to get real. I tend to deal with this fear by over ordering curriculum. I'm a bit of a junky. I research. I make lists. Then, I make lists of my lists. But, I think I've got a good selection this year:
Math:
This is our second year using Christian Light Education. Math is not my strength nor does the artsy, creative flower child dig it. I love this program for many reasons like it is CHEAP! Under $35 for a whole year. We have tried Horizons and Saxon in the past and I didn't care for either particularly, but this one was pretty straight forward and to the point. There is a focus on knowing basic facts through time tests and flashcards. Best part, it teaches kids to work independently and I can just come and check over her work. It is not manipulative based, which can be a negative to some. But for my kiddo, manipulatives tended to distract more than help her so we just needed to learn some stinking math. I decided at one point my kids don't have to be math geniuses, unless that's what God wants. In which case, He will provide a much better math teacher than me! 
 
 Language Arts:
This is where I get complicated. Language arts is my jam. I'm a writer. I'm a reader. I love words. So, this is where we camp out most days. This year I'm using a smorgasbord of things:
- First Language Lessons 3 for grammar
- Writing with Ease for writing/grammar
-A Reason for Handwriting for Handwriting
-Write Shop for creative writing
- Sonlight Readers for reading
- Word a day for vocabulary
-Sequential Spelling 2 for spelling 
-Christian Light Education Language Arts 3 as independent work that will be used to supplement
I know, I know...it's way too much, but we will figure out a rhythm that works with it all, I promise.
 
Bible/Character Training:

This is the first year I'm not using Positive Action for Christ and I'm sad. It is a great curriculum that Flower Child and I loved, but it was getting too time intensive with the Dude and Toddley-Tot. So, I decided to use what came with what I already ordered so I'll be using some Sonlight and some Mother Goose Time (you have to add on the Bible stuff) as well as doing some of my own stuff. We are also going to do some character training using Laying Down the Rails from Simply Charlotte Mason. We are focusing on a trait a month and they have several lessons within the Children book that can go along with the traits. Fridays will be our character trait time.
 
Social Studies/Read Alouds:
 Oh Sonlight, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways... I love words, remember? So, Sonlight is my jam when it comes to Social Studies, read alouds, and readers. They pick excellent literature and since I lean towards Charlotte Mason, they work for us. It involves a lot of reading time with your kids and if you are a compulsive box checker, it can sometimes overwhelm you if you get behind. BUT, if you can learn (like say this reforming OCD, type A planner type) to not let their plan drive you and just slow down and enjoy the books, you'll love it too I'm sure. This year is all about American History. I. Cannot. Wait.
 
Oh and I got some random Geography worksheet book. We'll do it if/when we can. I'm going to keep using the Geography Songs CD I got last year with Sonlight. Seriously, I've learned more about geography through those catchy tunes than my whole 32 years before it.
 
Science:
This year, I'm not using a formal curriculum. Having been trained as a K-6 teacher, I was getting kind of bummed that I didn't get to exercise my creativity when it came to lesson planning. So, I threw all caution in the wind and decided we'd do some child-interest led units for science. First up, SHARKS!! Really excited about it and so are the kids!
 
Electives:
Ok, here is the icing on the cake. First year homeschoolers, ignore all of this. These are the add ons we do when/if we have time. It isn't much but this year we are doing:
-Artistic Pursuits Book 2 because Flower Child and the Dude are budding artists
- The Care and Keeping of You: I realized I'm about to have a pre-teen on my hands so we are starting some of the hard conversations about a girl's body and all the changes. We won't focus too much on anything past hygiene but we will start heading towards all those things that I just don't even know where to begin.
-Nutrition: I really want my kids to understand the importance of good habits when it comes to food, health and exercise. I never learned them as a kid and I am paying for it as a 33 year old sugar, carb addict who struggles with consistently working out and going to sleep at a reasonable hour. We will be using some real books and a How to Teach Nutrition to Kids book with ideas.
- Song School Spanish is from last year. We didn't finish it so just going to finish out the year with it. The songs are oh so catchy but I am afraid of what happens after we finish it. I spoke with the company at a recent homeschool conference and they said there really isn't anything for the in between stage. I'll be starting mucho research on a good Spanish program.
-Typing Instructor for Kids: I got it last year and we never used it. We'll try it again...
 
Extras:
We are doing a homeschool group for the first time ever. Our lives are not very consistent when it comes to a schedule so we've never really been able to commit. But, this year we thought we'd give Classical Conversations a shot and the Flower Child is excited to be with one of her BFF's.
 
We also are doing weekly serving at a local food pantry and will continue various projects for a local refugee ministry. THESE are the things that I say make up my kid's education. I hope they know stuff, but more importantly, I hope they DO stuff for the kingdom because that's what we were created to do. The Flower Child is like her mama and is FULL of ideas and projects to help others so when they pop up, we run with them. It's a great way to give your kid's ownership in something AND they can do really big stuff. Don't look down on them because they are young...In the past 3 years, she has raised over $2,500 for charities and donated 75 BIG bags of rice to local refugees. She has plans to do something for the food pantry this year and wants to do a lemonade stand for friends trying to adopt. Those ideas can make for GREAT homeschool lessons on event planning, business, finance, and more. Real life skills that will perhaps turn out some entrepreneurs, activists, or just flat out world changers. #goals 
 
Because we like to live life to the max, Flower Child is also going to do some courses at our local children's play place that offers really cool "learning labs." Don't worry, they are short commitments so we can squeeze it all in.
 
 
I cannot believe the time has come for the 2015/2016 school year, can you? If you homeschool, what are some picks you are super excited about this year? If you don't, what are your kids (and you) looking forward to the most with the whole back to school routine?
 
Next time, I might do a little homeschool room tour because it is so cliché and necessary for a mommy blogger who homeschools and I relish in living out clichés.
 
 
Here's to educating our kids...
-C.