"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Emerson

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

On the Church and Refugees


Dear American Christian Church,

Oh how I hesitate to even pen these words. Because I know we are all a little braver in the sanctity of our homes, hiding behind the glow of a computer screen. I know these conversations need to be had in person more so than through the internet, but I also know we have to take the time to shine light when darkness threatens to prevail. And I know God has uniquely positioned me these past three years, for such a time as this, as someone with a heart and a passion for the voiceless persecuted people from around the world. Three years ago, I entered the world of refugee resettlement as a volunteer. I’ve gotten an education in a process that I knew nothing about before having stepped in and working with local refugees from Burma. I’ve been able to take my passion and draw others into this world, helping those who have endured so much rebuild their lives in my community.

But then, a cataclysmic event happen. One that shook our foundations because it is heinous in nature and brought back memories of an ordinary September day over a decade ago. Fear from those whose main objective is to incite terror has officially overtaken our Facebook feeds. But we, the Church, stand at a place where many have stood before. You see, we stand at a crossroads of sorts, a place where some of those we consider great, once stood. Charles Spurgeon. William Wilberforce. John Wesley. Harriet Beecher Stowe. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Ralph Abernathy. Christians who all had to decide what side of history they were going to stand on when things got tough. Because you see, what we are facing right now, is really our bread and butter, what those before us experienced as well: how to love when it is hard, unpopular, and downright scary.

Over 50 million people are forcibly displaced all over the world right now. Fifty. Million. Of those, about 19.5 million are refugees—those who are outside their country of nationality and can’t return due to a well-founded fear of persecution because of his or her race, religion, nationality, political opinion, or membership in a particular social group.  Of that 19.5 million, more than half are children. This year, the crisis sweeping many countries across the globe, emerged a new leader in the country with the most refugees: Syria. Over 3.5 million Syrians have fled the persecution and terror that is ripping their homeland to shreds.

Just a few short weeks ago, we as the Church watched a little boy’s dead body wash ashore and we were moved to do something. I was so proud to watch American Christianity emerge as a leader in the forefront of fundraising and getting supplies to those flowing across the borders of Europe in hopes of peace and stability. So many of you had your heart moved so deeply to action. But my, what a difference just a few days can make. Last week, terror struck, and those same rallying forces suddenly became frightened and frigid in its response. Calls to stop allowing the persecuted in have been flooding my feed. And I can’t sit by idly and watch anymore, because while I don’t expect the unbelieving world to do what is right, I do expect the bride of Christ to.

Christian, lean in and hear me on this: you do not want to be on the wrong side of this historical issue because our God is going to hold accountable His Church. We have a Holy standard to uphold and we cannot err on the side of party lines or nationalism—we must err on the side of Jesus.

First, the question must be asked. What do you know about the refugee resettlement process in America and across the globe? Because I’ve been seeing a lot of quotes, facts and figures flying without a lot of citing reputable sources. The media is not, I repeat, is NOT a reputable source. Politicians are not a reputable source. Your neighbor’s Facebook post is not a reputable source.  We need truth here from sources who are in the trenches of refugee resettlement on a daily basis. Not Joe Schmoe whose only source is his xenophobia and slanted news sources. Here is the truth:

1.)    We have to understand terminology first and foremost:

The people fleeing Syria are yes, people fleeing persecution. However, what we are seeing in Europe is not the legal definition of refugees, meaning people who have gone through the process and pipelines that have been in place for years and have safely resettled scores of refugees to 28 countries around the globe accepting them without any incident. What we are seeing in Europe are the mass majority asylum seekers, people who are seeking refugee status, yet who have not gone through the extensive process to gain it. The media does not understand this important difference and has been interchanging these words without care. It matters. Because what is happening in Europe with completely open borders in places is not the same thing that the United States is doing through the UNHCR and the U.S. State Department refugee resettlement program that allows those who have undergone the intense background checks, cross several intelligence agencies, biodata checks, medical screenings, and intense interviews to verify the validity of their plight. (www.unhcr.org for more info)

2.)    We have to know the numbers:

19.5 million Refugees worldwide. This is the largest refugee crisis our world has ever seen since World War II. We are talking about a humanitarian crisis of epic proportions. Less than 1% get resettled worldwide in countries allowing refugee resettlement. In the next year, the United States has committed to welcome 85,000 refugees. That’s .004% of the world’s persecuted. That’s a shameful spit in the bucket. Of those 85,000, only 10,000 will be arriving from Syria. Just around 10% of the refugees coming to the United States will be coming from the country producing the most right now. The vast majority will come from other places such as Burma, Colombia, or the DR of Congo just to name a few. Church, these numbers are sickening and embarrassing because do you know who takes on the majority of the care for those displaced due to war and violence? Developing countries. The poorest of the poor are the ones opening their arms and homes to those who need it the most. Woe to us, Church! This cannot be our generation’s legacy. (www.unhcr.org for more info)

3.) We have to stop operating out of the same fear that everyone around us seems to:

Most days, I wonder if I’m even reading the same Bible as the vast majority of those who proclaim Christ. Because when I read it, I don’t find any promises of a comfortable, safe existence. Instead, every word I read points to a life that is lived poured out defending and fighting for those who need it most in a world that is unstable and gunning for us. Everything I have read and know about Jesus points to the fact that He has but one stance on refugee resettlement: do it.

Care for the least. Stop and tend for the foreigner who has been pummeled and left for dead. Love your enemies, both real and perceived. This is my Jesus. I don’t know if that is yours, but if it isn’t, please don’t continue to use the label Christian for describing your belief system. I know that’s a hard word for you, but with that label comes a load of responsibility in terms of knowing the God in which we serve. Don’t claim to follow Him if you don’t think we should do what He says.

His word is clear: do not be afraid. Yes, evil will come. Yes, it will rear its ugly face in our backyards and in our cities. It will try to get us to live in terror and fear, because it knows, those things keep us from our God. It will create chaos and incite panic because all of this distracts from the peace and hope we are guaranteed.

This world will continue to spin on what seems to be a downward spiral. Jesus said it. He told us to expect it:

Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains.

“Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10 At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11 and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. 14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come. (Matthew 24:4-14)

But our hope is not in this world’s messiahs: politicians who make false promises to keep all the bad out or media sources who claim to know the truth. These messiahs will deceive you. Jesus said it.

Wars and rumors of wars will continue to come. But see to it you are not alarmed, He told you. Persecution will ensue for standing up for righteousness. We. Will. Be. Hated.

Because of the wickedness, the love of most will grow cold. Love grown cold looks like the likes of Christ claiming, Jesus lovers saying no to the world’s most vulnerable and needy.

But to the one who stands firm in love, in trust of the true Messiah, in doing the hard things He has called us to in a scary culture, those He will save. And it is this gospel that will be preached in the whole world: from Syria to Burma and to every war-torn country in between.

Church, I love you so. I don’t want us to collectively err on the wrong side of this crossroads in our history. Let’s rise up and watch perfect love drive out fear.

Sincerely,

Your sister and biggest fan

 

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

On Becoming World Changers...

Ever since I was a kid, I've always favored the underdog of the story. I became obsessed with the Civil Rights Movement in elementary school. Thurgood Marshall and Atticus Finch were my heroes. I really thought my life would be spent in a courtroom, fighting for the marginalized and forgotten.

Every stage of my life, I found underdogs that needed their voices heard. In High School, it was underprivileged kids so I started a tutoring program. In college, it was migrant farmworkers so I would go with legal aid and tell people their rights. After college it was teen moms then military wives who were lonely and afraid, the hungry and poor, refugees. I like people on the outskirts. I live for fringe people. The ones who often get forgotten and swept aside.

I started using the term world changer a lot the past couple of years. I speak it over my kids. I speak it over my friends. I believe it's a thing and it can happen and there is power in one person inciting change. I believe it in the very core of my being. It may be the fact that I am an idealist or a dreamer or a bleeding heart. But I think about how God sent One to change the entire course of history and how even though we can never have that same impact, through that One, we can change a corner of the world, make it a little bit better than it was before we got here.

I've learned a lot about world changing these past couple of years. Hard things. Good things. Things I didn't know before I found the things that impassion me. Things that could've helped me had I known. Things that need to be said out loud to all the world changers and wannabe world changers.

1. It's hard: That's why everyone doesn't do it. That's why people give up and walk away and buy in to the apathy that infects our generation. It takes a lot of work, often with little noticeable return. It is three steps forward, four steps backwards. It's exhausting at times. Times when all you want to do is not care and just consume like everyone else. But world changers fight through those feelings. They press on. They cling tight to their convictions and beliefs and don't quit just because no one seems to care or listen. They keep moving when it seems like all is at a standstill.

2. You need a tribe: World changing was never meant to be done in isolation It wasn't meant to be a lone wolf endeavor. You find your people. People with your heart and your passion. Or perhaps they don't quite have your heart or your passion just yet, but you share yours. And see what types of fires it ignites around you. It's hearts and stories just like yours that have ignited entire movements. Movements that propelled change and made a difference in countless lives.

3. It gets lonely sometimes: Even when you have a tribe, there comes a point in every world changer's life when it feels like you're the only one who cares. There comes a time when you wonder why your friends ignore your pleas to help whatever cause that fires you up. You wonder why they didn't come to your event. Or donate. Or share your post. But the lonely moments are there for a purpose, too. They may be there to regroup, to add to your tribe, to do some self-care. Or to just think. Because ideas become concrete ways to engage more people in changing the world in whatever form you've found to do that.

4. World changers encourage other world changers: I may not be as stirred as you are to whatever thing you're doing to make a difference, but I am going to be your biggest fan in what you're doing. Seeing God use the talents, treasures, and passions of fellow sojourners is one of my greatest joys on this journey. Because world changers realize they can't do it all but they can take a piece of the puzzle to put this whole broken place back together again. So when I see you with your piece, doing the things God designed you to do, I'm the loudest one clapping and cheering in the back, watching Him weave together your story into His. We get to help each other up when the hard work of world changing knocks one of us off our feet and discouragement threatens to silence our voice.

5. Tell stories: Stories are what God used to draw humanity to Him. Stories have power. They matter. Whatever your thing is, find the powerful stories and tell them. Because the world needs to hear the voices that often go unheard. They need to hear your story and how you got this heart ablaze for whatever you wake up for each day.

6. Leverage what you've got: You may not have all the money to do all the things you want to do for that passion of yours, but you have resources. Your greatest resource is and will always be your relationships. You may need skills and you know someone who knows someone. You may need time. You know someone with some of that. You may need connections. Ask your people. I know it may seem like you got nothing, but I promise, you've got something. It may be a matter of building more relationships, because within those, that is where you'll find all those resources to truly do this thing right.

7. You may start feeling like a broken record: Your Facebook wall may be filled with posts promoting that fundraiser. Or that cause. Or that idea. People who don't quite understand our kind, may not want to hear about it anymore. Or they may quietly unfollow. That's ok. World changing requires a lot of noise. A lot of rooftop yelling because we don't live in a world where infrequent whispers get any coverage. No, it requires a whole lot of squeaky wheels to get some grease. Don't be afraid to ask. Again. Or to mention it. Again. Or to post it. Again. Sometimes you got to beat the gong for people to awaken to the harsh realities of this place and how YOU are trying to change one of them.

If you do it right, you're going to be poured out at the end of each day. That's ok. It's when we are completely emptied that we can be filled up the most again. Keep running your race. Don't look around you or at how far you have to go, just keep looking up. That's what is going to get you to the finish line. Don't let the naysayers and the pessimists and the small thinkers keep you from going big on this. Those are the kinds of people who leave this place either just as they found it or worse. Don't let excuses keep you from doing your thing. There will never be a perfect time. There will never be enough of anything to make it work. Just take the first step. See where God takes you with it. The world has been changed by a lot of moms, a lot of college students, a lot of 9-5ers, a lot of __________________ (fill in your position here). Start small. Watch the small lead to the big. Ripple effects. Tipping points. It can happen, my friend.

So, to all the dreamers, the bleeding hearts, the lovers of fringe people, DO. YOUR. THING. The world will thank you for it one day.

Here's to all the world changers...
Until next time,
-C.
One of my favorite world changers...with her 75 bags of rice she collected...that time she was 6.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

On Storytelling...


Yesterday, I had the privilege to interview six former refugees who are rebuilding their lives in my community for videos we are going to show at a fundraiser I’m putting together. I asked them to tell me their story, which they did with such courage even though bright lights and cameras intimidated. I asked them what their hopes and dreams were for their future and the future of their children. I asked them what they would be if they could be anything. I asked them what their struggles and joys have been. Their answers were profound, meaningful, and hope filled. Hearing their stories in their own words had moved me so much that by the time it was my turn to be interviewed as a volunteer who has worked with refugees and share my own story, I was raw. So raw that I ended up crying during my interview. [Insert embarrassing moment when said video will be shown at the event on a big screen]

It got me thinking, though. Stories are powerful. Stories have the potential to motivate, inspire, change, push, challenge, and grow people. Stories are the conduit God chose when He wanted to give us something to reveal His redemption plan. Stories are the thing that create collective memories and pursue hearts. Stories matter.

 
I think about some of my friends whose stories are riddled with deep valleys of pain. I think of some of those friends, the bravest ones I know, who make it a point to share their stories. Not because they want attention or sympathy, but because they believe in the power of stories. I think about how many people are changed in some way by those courageous ones who open their book to the most tender, heartbreaking chapters and read it aloud. It is hard to share our story. It opens us up for ridicule, judgement, pity, attention, gossip, and the like. It can make us feel vulnerable and naked and acutely aware of the eyes turned our way. But when we are bold enough to disclose, there is always a quiet, timid voice standing in the shadow of our pages, whispering “Me too!” It is in those intersections of stories, in those places where your pain and mine meet, that people connect on the deepest of levels. It is in those seams that we begin to silence the lies that scream you are all alone and no one understands. We find light where darkness once invaded and peace where chaos festered.

But, I wonder how many stories have gone untold because of all the fear that surrounds becoming an author? How many refuse to formulate the sentences that will release their story into the world? Yet how many more are anxiously awaiting to hear one with pages like theirs so they can finally feel like another truly knows them?

Stories are powerful. They change the world. And yours is a good one. An important one. I just hope that one day, you will be brave enough to tell it.

Here’s to all the storytellers…

Until next time,

-C.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

On Learning from Each Other...

I just returned after FIVE days away from my people. Yes, you read that right...1 2 3 4 5 days away!!! I had meticulously typed out notes for being me in the interim (90% of which were ignored...but it's whatever) and hopped on a plane to Dallas, Texas to visit one of my BFF's in her new home and life with a newly arrived third child. It's one of those trips where even though it wasn't meant to, it taught me a lot.


Whenever you get the opportunity to be a house guest, you get a front row seat to seeing how other people live. To the reality show junkie in me, this is amazing. Not that my friend exhibited any behaviors that warranted a reality show, but you know what I mean. You see how others cook and clean. What they feed their kids. How they handle tantrums. What their daily schedule is like. You see underneath the Facebook veneer into what is real and true.

I got to experience simplicity, something I long for daily in my life. My friend is so good at choosing simplicity: in the amount of stuff in her home, in the amount of things on her calendar, in everything. She chooses simple over more. Her home was just filled with a sense of calm and peace because she wasn't frantically moving about all the time like I am. She doesn't live life to the absolute edge and threshold. She recognizes her season with a newborn babe and two other sweet girls under five who need her full attention. There isn't clutter in her everyday because she consciously chooses what is fitting for her time in life. In five short days, it got me thinking about my own house and life and how so much of my chaos is self-induced. It's my schedule. It's my "yeses." It's the things I let in. It's my lack of understanding what this time of life means for everything else. It has me reevaluating everything on my plate that is literally about to fall and crack in to a million tiny pieces. I cannot do it all. Something must always give whether its our family life, our social life, our spiritual life, our physical life or our emotional/mental life. With every give in life, something is taken.
 

I got to teach her a few things too during my stay. Like the recipe for my favorite arugula salad and pesto chicken. How to entertain kids for hours with Bingo Dauber art . The shortcut of covering a cut watermelon with some saran wrap (saves a dirty dish, you know). Really life altering things...

This whole time away made me think though how very rarely we get to go inside someone's life. I mean really go. I see my generation struggle so much with basic hospitality in just inviting others over, let alone, inviting others in. We are missing out on so much relational depth because we are awaiting our Pinterest-perfect setting so we don't even want to allow others the chance to see our imperfections. And if it isn't because of our desire to make things pretty inside our space, it's because we have a desire to make things pretty inside our hearts. We can't bear the thought of people seeing the raw and ugly. We can't stand the idea that our cracks might show if we open up the door. If it isn't fear holding us back, it's busyness. We pack our schedules to the max so that there isn't any time to open our hearts and living rooms. The most connected generation, yet we are so relationally alone and unknown. It's the being unknown that is ultimately going to drown us: not the jam packed schedules or the one too many yeses. It's the daily living with the fact that no one can see underneath that threatens to choke us to death. We have so much to learn from each other, but we don't even get the chance because we are too afraid or too busy.

I just wonder how our generation is going to fare with this false sense of connection through a computer screen. Will mamas ever be able to learn and teach one another? Will women find comfort in knowing their pain isn't unique, that someone else has experienced a similar heartache too? Or will we just continue to gain more and more "wisdom" from thousands upon thousands of internet sources without any "flesh" on them, people putting out the impossibly perfect, "do what I do" blogs and pinterest pins for the masses to indulge in?

I know it's a ramble today, but perhaps, we all need to take a minute and step into someone else's life, a real person we know and love, and learn a little something new to get us thinking...

Here's to learning something new!
Until next time,
C.

My Favorite Arugula Salad
1 bag of Arugula washed and ready
1/4 thinly sliced fennel
1/2 cup halved cherry tomatoes
1/4 cup thinly sliced GOOD quality Asiago cheese... don't skimp, man
1 lemon
3-4 tablespoons of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
 
Toss the arugula, fennel, and tomatoes. Squeeze lemon directly on salad and toss. Slowly pour in olive oil and toss again. Salt and pepper to taste. Sprinkle with cheese. Life. Made. Pair with your favorite, HOT bread and call it a day, because you've adult-ed enough just by making this salad.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

On Aylan and Hard Things...


As I sat in the bathtub tonight, trying to soak away all the hard parts of the day, I realized how little I understood hard. My hard was an eight year old with a bad attitude and the seemingly hormonal reactions of an emerging teenager. My hard was a whiny three year old who wanted to use a sharp knife to cut his meat and wouldn’t stop tantruming about it. My hard was a one year old who wanted to be carried around all day. But, then I thought about the mama on the other side of the world whose hard was words I cannot even begin to fathom. Persecution. Death. Destruction. Her hard was constant warring in her hometown. Her hard was making the choice to seek safety across the turbulent waters on a journey towards freedom. Her hard was watching her babies go under after the boat that promised hope and a future capsized. Her hard was breathing her last breath as she was swept under in a sea of despair. Her hard was her baby’s lifeless body washing up to shore for all the world to see so that other mama’s like me could finally realize that I don’t know hard.


My privileged American existence has insulated me in so many ways from the true hard things of this world. I will never ache in the depths of my soul as I watch my child hungry and listless from malnutrition. I will never experience the groaning of a mother who cannot afford the needed basic medical care to keep her child alive. I will never shutter at the sounds of gunfire or bombs exploding outside my window and be forced to make a choice to run from battles waged around me. I will never be exploited or abused just because someone can. I don’t know hard.
Yet, I’ve noticed a trend with my fellow mamas, sequestered in a bubble in which our hardest places are whether to homeschool, public school or private school, whether to work or not, whether to do organic and natural or processed and fast or some mixture of the two, we create our own false sense of hard.
The thing I see in myself and my friends is that every complaint, fear, and stressor is almost always self-induced. We hem and haw over things that are completely and utterly meaningless in the scheme of the world’s pain. Our hard with our children is so often the result of an overindulgence and sense of entitlement that rears its ugly head because we as mamas have overindulged and entitled. Hard is always, always, always a matter of perspective.
So, what do we do as we sit in our comfortable houses with our pretty things and watch a world of fellow mamas throughout the world throbbing in the darkness of poverty, hunger, persecution, abuse, and the like? The short answer: we do something. We start by taking less from the table so there is more to go around. We stop gorging ourselves on the gluttonous feast that is our culture and we give more out of our abundance. We do research. We find people and places on the ground doing the things that will shift the course of history for generations to come. We empower women and give them the opportunities to provide for their children. We leverage all we’ve got: our assets, our paychecks, our circles of influence for doing something. We don’t accept the paralyzing effects of a culture that tells us everything is for the getting and it’s ours for the taking. We don’t sleep at night because we know that one person can change the world and through that ONE, we can too. We mobilize our people and we ignite passion in our community for life outside of our kind of hard, into the kinds of hard we can't begin to understand. The kinds of hard experienced by the majority of the world. We bring to light all the darkness and we just.do.something. We quit giving excuses of I don’t have time or I don’t have money or I’ve got small kids. No, those justifications aren’t going to cut it anymore because we know deep down we can make time, we can spend less, and we can bring them along. We get creative and we think outside the box. We attack the problems from multiple angles and we celebrate when others find their something to do.
Fasting is a spiritual discipline we find throughout the pages of scripture, the act of taking in less so that we can be filled with more. These verses keep coming to the forefront of my mind as all these thoughts have been strewn about the interiors of my heart and mind:
 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
    with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
    and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
    and your night will become like the noonday.
The Lord will guide you always;
    he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
    and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
    like a spring whose waters never fail.
-Isaiah 58:6-11 (NIV)
Loosen the chains of injustice. Set the oppressed free. Share our food. Provide the wanderer with shelter. Give the naked clothes. I don’t know what your something looks like, but I know it’s there. Are you willing to do the work of finding it? If we do it right according to Isaiah, we are going to spend ourselves and that will be hard.
If you’re looking for a place to do something now in regards to the current refugee crisis, consider donating to my favorite resettlement agency, Interfaith Refugee Ministry-Wilmington. Be sure to note on your check or in paypal that you’d like your donation to go to the Wilmington office.
 

 

Monday, August 31, 2015

On doing it all


I don’t know how you do it all. I get that a lot. I used to think it a compliment, people thinking I must be all together and organized. If they only knew, they’d think I’m a fraud.  If you’re a “doer”, you probably hear the same thing. Are you ready for my secrets?

-          I don’t sleep much. Usually 5-6 hours tops.

-          My sink is just about always full of dishes. And by full, I mean lining the surrounding countertops as well.

-          I have a young lady come and do my laundry and help me clean every other week. She used to come every week. My life has been even more chaotic since she had to switch to twice a month due to another job she has.

-          Often times, I overbook our weekends full of stuff to do for the various things I am involved in. This means very little downtime or rest or renewal.  

-          I push my kids to the limits of naps and bedtimes. We skip naps some days. Bedtimes are erratic which means behavior can be equally erratic.

-          My husband sometimes gets frustrated by the fullness of our calendar.

-          Clutter fills most rooms most days. I pile with intentions to deal with piles. But, I run out of time to deal with piles.

-          My workouts are sporadic at best.

-          I taught my kid to do laundry, not because I’m so good at teaching responsibility, but because I just stinking hate it and procrastinate doing it.

-          I don’t remember the last time I cleaned my bathrooms.

-          We eat out entirely way too much.

-          Most of the time, even though I’m constantly seeing people, I don’t feel like I see anyone.

-          I forget a lot of things unless I put them in to my phone. Until that time my phone erased my whole calendar. Then I just forgot a lot.

-          My floors often have a strange, sticky film that I can’t eradicate.

-          Every night, I eat some form of ice cream to take the edge off because I just don’t like the taste of wine. If there are Drumstick ice cream cones in my house, I will often eat two a night because I find it best to get rid of all temptations as quickly as possible. One time, I ate three.

-          To do’s are constantly being re-written on the next day’s to do list.

-          I don’t get much time to go off to do the soul filling stuff I want to. All my babysitter fund goes to various meetings I have for all the stuff I am involved in.

-          My eating habits are something awful. The pace of my day almost always results in a skimpy breakfast, a lunch entirely comprised of chips and salsa and then eating everything within an arm’s length between the hours of 5-9pm. I dehydrate myself all the time because drinking water just takes too much time.

-          I am always tired. Always.

See that? This is the truth—take the person you think has it the most together, the most organized, the most productive and take a long look in. If there is one thing I have learned as a doer it is that something ALWAYS gives. Every YES to one thing results in a NO to something else. There are always cracks beneath the surface of everyone’s life. It’s so easy to look from the outside of other people and think they have something I don’t have. It is so tempting to believe they have it so together.

But, none of us do. We are all hot messes bubbling underneath. Some of us are better at keeping the messy parts from boiling over than others, but we all are in a constant tug of war with our time, our commitments, and our schedules. God has been taking me on a journey in to a deeper understanding of His grace and how nothing is required of me. Oh how freeing it is to know that I don’t have to do it all because He already did everything for me! That grace is what gives me order in my daily chaos. It is what frees me from the yokes I so want to enslave and tangle myself with. Those inner thoughts that want to scream you need to do more. Get it together. Why can’t you do it all? Why can't you be more? Why aren't you enough? 

I love the Message version of Matthew 11:28-30:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.
Colossians 1:17 says it this way:
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

HE is how I do anything worth doing. He multiplies time when it feels like I have none left. He gives me the strength to get the one thing He has for me done in a day. He quiets my mind when I keep running through everything I didn’t get to in a given day. If there is anything within me, any facet of life that looks like I have it together, it is Him alone holding it together. On our own, we are all undone.
The next time you are tempted to compare your doings to another, just remember they don’t do it all. In every one of our lives there is a give and take in everything. Christ alone is our strength. He gives us the ability to do exactly what He has for us to do. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Here’s to all the hot messes!

Until next time,

-C.

Friday, August 14, 2015

The Gentle Whisper Revisited

An oldie but a goodie...here is a blog I wrote a few years back"

This scripture just pierced my soul and I am wondering if it will pierce yours.
"The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper."
-1 Kings 19:11-12 (NIV)


Elijah's story is that of a most faithful servant, who but in the same breath almost lost His faith altogether. In his inhale, he was amazed by God's faithfulness to him, yet in the exhale was struck by paralyzing fear as he faced adversity.

And as wind, earthquakes, and fire erupted before his eyes, he kept looking for his God. Yet, it wasn't in the loud, powerful promulgations that God made known His presence, but rather, through a soft, gentle whisper.


How often do we find ourselves like Elijah? Believing wholeheartedly in the power of our God in one drawed in breath, and then, watching that belief all but disapear in the next. Then, as God comes to reveal Himself to us, we become so fixated on monstrous, palpable demonstrations that we miss the faint sound of His voice saying, "Here I am!"


Can we get our respiration to reflect the truth of God's character? Can we find belief when circumstance entices us towards doubt? Can we focus our ears and eyes not on the sounds of the disasters that whiz by us, but on the gentle whisper that comes afterwards?


Faith is not for the meandering charlatan, but rather for the persistent pathfinder, who blazes through the unkown towards the sound of a simple hushed utterance.


Here's to hearing the gentle whisper...

Until next time,

-C.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Cliche Homeschool Mom Room Tour

What's a discussion of homeschooling without a cliché room tour post, right? First question new or potential homeschoolers always ask besides "what curriculum do you use?" is "do I have to have a homeschool room?" The answer: absolutely not. But, if you start to amass a lot of homeschool related materials and you have a space in your house, it may be something you want to consider. I've seen people convert all kinds of spaces: dining rooms, offices, nooks in their house so think outside the box if you decide to do one. This is actually our second homeschool space in this house. Our first was upstairs in a tiny room off the bonus room, but it got too hard the more kids I added to the mix to be that far from the kitchen, laundry room, etc. So, my poor husband agreed to convert the biggest kid bedroom off the main living space. It serves as a playroom as well and it required us giving up a bedroom and ultimately the upstairs bonus room because that is now where two kids share a room.
 
It's nice for the kids to be close when I need to run to throw another load in or make a snack or lunch. Downside is this room is one you walk by when you walk in to our living room so it is always a disaster, BUT it has doors! I highly recommend a space you can shut/hide because homeschool rooms can get messy :)
 
So this is as clean as this room is because I'm prepped for school starting Monday and I've been keeping kids away. However, its usually a hot mess. So envision this, but messier in the day to day. Oh and sorry for the low quality iPhone pictures...I am not quite a legit blogger yet with a fancy camera but I am working on it.
 
Our board/book area:
Sonlight gives you a ton of books and we are now on our 4th year of using it so I had to get more storage. Bookshelves get destroyed by Toddley-Tot so I resorted to these plastic drawers for storing our Sonlight books and our science and holiday ones. . 
 
 
 
 
This is the view from the door way. If I were to do this space again, I'd invest in a bigger table. We are always running out of room on this one and pretty soon, Toddley-Tot will be joining us at the table.

 
On the other side is a closet that we took the doors off of to keep little fingers from getting pinched. We were going to add curtains but it just hasn't happened.

 
This is my craft supply/school supply closet. I bought this cabinets from Lowe's I think and they have been super handy. I HIGHLY recommend child locking the top, otherwise expect many craft supply explosions (which often happen when big sister forgets to lock it back). Oh and these are anchored to the wall for added security.

 
This is our math manipulatives (top shelf), current curriculum (middle two), and teacher resources (bottom) cabinet. Again, locked. Because my kids are like small natural disasters.

 
This is my desk and our computer which we use daily, mostly for cd's/music. Flower Child is an artist so music is a must for her. I used to have a classical or Seeds Family Worship only rule which I am going to get back to this year. I allowed way too much Kidz Bop and Disney Pandora last year. Music really can set the tone for the day so we need calm or Jesus.
 
Seeds are AMAZING! We actually won the entire set from a Facebook contest they held, but basically they are scripture verses set to music in a non-annoying way. It's helped us all learn God's word, which is a huge struggle for me.
 
The wall is pretty bare because usually we hang all of our art and projects. I just took down all of last year's so now we just have our My Plate nutrition chart and our 1st day of school signs. I also can't take down the cute Dr. Seuss craft from my oldest's preschool days.
 
The green bin is all of our current books. It helps to have a place for them to go back in to after our lessons each day.


 
This is the reading corner. Target saves the day with a floppy elephant bean bag chair and book rack. I try and keep my classics in the book rack, but with 3 kids, that is always short lived.


 
This year I'm trying something new with workboxes. Flower Child will have a lot more independent work so she needs a place to store all her work. I found this boxes at Walmart and filled them with fun school supplies. Our first day we are having a treasure hunt and these will be at the end of the hunt as a treasure. The Dude had to have one to of course to keep from any threenager meltdowns from occurring. 
 
This is another new add for our year. I printed a daily checklist for Flower Child to complete. I laminated it and will update it each night. This is what I will use in those moments I need time with the other two. She can get started without me having to tell her what needs to be done.
 
Basic calendar/weather area. All finds from the Dollar Store and Target dollar bins.


 
This is also a new addition to our year. I really wanted to do some character training and vocab stuff. These are dry erase boards from Walmart. I started with diligence because that is something that is a definite struggle up in here. Ha! Oh and look, impatient is our first vocab word of the year. Coincidence? I think not. 
 
Another new add this year is this cool Grace and Courtesy Chart I found here . I laminated it and am going to check each time the kids show one of the graces and courtesies like: saying please or thank you, asking "can I help?", or using kind words. I'm going to have them pick a prize like an ice cream at our local Fro Yo place and when the chart is full, we will take the day to do that. Just a little way to encourage kindness for us all.

 
Well, that concludes my first ever homeschool tour blog. The truth of the matter is that the beginning of the year is always filled with high hopes and organization. By the end, we are just making it through. It's life, mamas! Don't stress. Do what you can. Focus on what's most important and call it a day. Don't let this make you feel anything other than just a chance to see how someone else does things. The way you do it is perfectly fine so don't let this be another discouraging point of comparison!  

Your turn: Do you have a homeschool room? If so, what are some cool areas you have? If you've liked these homeschool posts, what other stuff would you like to see?

Here's to trying to get some order in the chaos!
-C.

Friday, August 7, 2015

Back to school, back to school...

Monday will begin our 5th year of homeschooling! I can't believe I've stuck with it this long...let me backup. I was NEVER going to homeschool. I thought it was weird. I thought it would turn my kids in to socially awkward recluses. I thought it required a whole lot of skills that God just didn't hand me when He created me (like patience...). So what made me about face on this whole education at home thing?

It really started from a place of fear. My oldest was approaching kindergarten and I just couldn't imagine releasing her in to the big, bad world quite yet. Go be a light kid in a whole lot of darkness. So we gave it a test run for pre-k because what's the big deal if you mess up pre-k, right?

Good news was I didn't mess up pre-k too bad and I realized I kinda loved this whole homeschooling thing. But I also realized it was really, really, really hard. I spent every.single.day. with my little "angel" of a 4 year old. Every vice and character flaw was flagrantly displayed. Mine and hers. I realized I'm extremely selfish (all day long my goal is just five minutes...), lazy (seriously, why do I keep checking Facebook instead of doing dishes?), and impatient. Oh, and my kids...they are little sinning versions of me too. Awesome.

God began to really work on me through this homeschooling stuff. Not only did He start to use it as a vehicle to sanctify me, but He also changed my reasons as to why I was doing it in the first place.

I don't have a complicated answer really. I don't believe the public school system is evil or common core is the death of American free thinking. I don't believe that homeschooling will ensure my kids love and follow Jesus. I don't believe homeschooling can protect them from pain, suffering, or bad influences. I don't believe our choice to homeschool makes us any holier than my neighbors down the street who send their kids off to public school. My sole reason I homeschool is one word: TIME.

Two years is what I calculated kids will spend in a school based on an 8 hour school day at 180 days a year. So instead of 18 years, I'd only be getting 16. It didn't sit well with me. I wanted more time and I felt God was offering me that opportunity. Time to teach them about becoming a disciple of Christ. Time to teach them about the greats of literature, the arts, and sciences. Time to get to know them so intimately that I know how best to present a topic and what excites them and what they are gifted in. Time to navigate all their sin and help them grow and change.

Homeschool is just a vehicle for more time to me. Nothing more. Nothing less. It doesn't make me more patient than you if your kids ride the bus everyday. It doesn't make me a better parent because I taught my kid to read. Secretly, all homeschool moms harbor a tinge of jealously towards their traditional school friends who get a couple kidless hours a day to get things done around the house. More time comes with more messes and more life happening in our home than most families. More time means less time for cleaning, working out and reading books I want to read. Time always costs something, whether we are talking about homeschool or work or passions or dreams.

I say all this because I thought I'd share our curriculum picks for the 2015-2016 school year. I always want to preface any discussions on our freedoms as believers with a deep, unmistakable undertone of grace. How we choose to educate our children is not dictated in Scripture outside of a few verses like Deuteronomy 6:5-9:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
 
You can without a doubt love the Lord your God with all your heart and impress that love on your children as you drive them to school or wake them up for math at the kitchen table. You can do it no matter what way you've chosen to educate them. But if you do decide that God is calling you to homeschool, here are some of our picks for the year. I always give this piece of advice to those considering homeschool. First, buy two books: Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay Clarkson and 101 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum by Cathy Duffy. These will help you determine what curriculums/philosophies fit best for you, your child and your situation. There is no one size fits all for homeschooling. Besides, that is probably part of the reason why you chose it in the first place. Second, take everyone's opinions with a grain of salt. People get very opinionated in homeschooling circles. There is SO much out there that will produce similar outcomes (knowing stuff) so don't feel like you HAVE to do what people say, even if they are veterans. As with all things, listen to the advice and then you and God have a pow wow on where He wants you to land:
 
Preschool for the dude:
My oldest got to experience a traditional preschool environment. I decided to give homeschool preschooling a try this year because the dude is chomping at the bit (he wants to learn to read). I didn't want to jip him out of all the fun crafts and art projects, but with a toddling-tot, a threenager, and planning school for a Flower Child of a 3rd grader, there was no way I could waste precious time hunting for all things cute on pinterest. Enter Mother Goose Time . You can order a box a month and they send you EVERYTHING you need: books, manipulatives, craft items (minus a few common household ones). Boom. Sold. It's our first time trying it so I'll let you know if we order next months as well...
 
We are also doing Teach your child to read in 100 Lessons. I didn't use it with my first, but it looks simple enough and since he is rearing to go, we are going to give it a try!
 
 
Third Grade for the Flower Child:
Third Grade sort of had me a little scared. It seems like such a foundational year in one's education. I still remember learning about the various types of writing (expository, persuasive, etc.) and cursive at this point in my educational history. Memorizing those pesky multiplication facts (which I never quite did). It's like it's starting to get real. I tend to deal with this fear by over ordering curriculum. I'm a bit of a junky. I research. I make lists. Then, I make lists of my lists. But, I think I've got a good selection this year:
Math:
This is our second year using Christian Light Education. Math is not my strength nor does the artsy, creative flower child dig it. I love this program for many reasons like it is CHEAP! Under $35 for a whole year. We have tried Horizons and Saxon in the past and I didn't care for either particularly, but this one was pretty straight forward and to the point. There is a focus on knowing basic facts through time tests and flashcards. Best part, it teaches kids to work independently and I can just come and check over her work. It is not manipulative based, which can be a negative to some. But for my kiddo, manipulatives tended to distract more than help her so we just needed to learn some stinking math. I decided at one point my kids don't have to be math geniuses, unless that's what God wants. In which case, He will provide a much better math teacher than me! 
 
 Language Arts:
This is where I get complicated. Language arts is my jam. I'm a writer. I'm a reader. I love words. So, this is where we camp out most days. This year I'm using a smorgasbord of things:
- First Language Lessons 3 for grammar
- Writing with Ease for writing/grammar
-A Reason for Handwriting for Handwriting
-Write Shop for creative writing
- Sonlight Readers for reading
- Word a day for vocabulary
-Sequential Spelling 2 for spelling 
-Christian Light Education Language Arts 3 as independent work that will be used to supplement
I know, I know...it's way too much, but we will figure out a rhythm that works with it all, I promise.
 
Bible/Character Training:

This is the first year I'm not using Positive Action for Christ and I'm sad. It is a great curriculum that Flower Child and I loved, but it was getting too time intensive with the Dude and Toddley-Tot. So, I decided to use what came with what I already ordered so I'll be using some Sonlight and some Mother Goose Time (you have to add on the Bible stuff) as well as doing some of my own stuff. We are also going to do some character training using Laying Down the Rails from Simply Charlotte Mason. We are focusing on a trait a month and they have several lessons within the Children book that can go along with the traits. Fridays will be our character trait time.
 
Social Studies/Read Alouds:
 Oh Sonlight, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways... I love words, remember? So, Sonlight is my jam when it comes to Social Studies, read alouds, and readers. They pick excellent literature and since I lean towards Charlotte Mason, they work for us. It involves a lot of reading time with your kids and if you are a compulsive box checker, it can sometimes overwhelm you if you get behind. BUT, if you can learn (like say this reforming OCD, type A planner type) to not let their plan drive you and just slow down and enjoy the books, you'll love it too I'm sure. This year is all about American History. I. Cannot. Wait.
 
Oh and I got some random Geography worksheet book. We'll do it if/when we can. I'm going to keep using the Geography Songs CD I got last year with Sonlight. Seriously, I've learned more about geography through those catchy tunes than my whole 32 years before it.
 
Science:
This year, I'm not using a formal curriculum. Having been trained as a K-6 teacher, I was getting kind of bummed that I didn't get to exercise my creativity when it came to lesson planning. So, I threw all caution in the wind and decided we'd do some child-interest led units for science. First up, SHARKS!! Really excited about it and so are the kids!
 
Electives:
Ok, here is the icing on the cake. First year homeschoolers, ignore all of this. These are the add ons we do when/if we have time. It isn't much but this year we are doing:
-Artistic Pursuits Book 2 because Flower Child and the Dude are budding artists
- The Care and Keeping of You: I realized I'm about to have a pre-teen on my hands so we are starting some of the hard conversations about a girl's body and all the changes. We won't focus too much on anything past hygiene but we will start heading towards all those things that I just don't even know where to begin.
-Nutrition: I really want my kids to understand the importance of good habits when it comes to food, health and exercise. I never learned them as a kid and I am paying for it as a 33 year old sugar, carb addict who struggles with consistently working out and going to sleep at a reasonable hour. We will be using some real books and a How to Teach Nutrition to Kids book with ideas.
- Song School Spanish is from last year. We didn't finish it so just going to finish out the year with it. The songs are oh so catchy but I am afraid of what happens after we finish it. I spoke with the company at a recent homeschool conference and they said there really isn't anything for the in between stage. I'll be starting mucho research on a good Spanish program.
-Typing Instructor for Kids: I got it last year and we never used it. We'll try it again...
 
Extras:
We are doing a homeschool group for the first time ever. Our lives are not very consistent when it comes to a schedule so we've never really been able to commit. But, this year we thought we'd give Classical Conversations a shot and the Flower Child is excited to be with one of her BFF's.
 
We also are doing weekly serving at a local food pantry and will continue various projects for a local refugee ministry. THESE are the things that I say make up my kid's education. I hope they know stuff, but more importantly, I hope they DO stuff for the kingdom because that's what we were created to do. The Flower Child is like her mama and is FULL of ideas and projects to help others so when they pop up, we run with them. It's a great way to give your kid's ownership in something AND they can do really big stuff. Don't look down on them because they are young...In the past 3 years, she has raised over $2,500 for charities and donated 75 BIG bags of rice to local refugees. She has plans to do something for the food pantry this year and wants to do a lemonade stand for friends trying to adopt. Those ideas can make for GREAT homeschool lessons on event planning, business, finance, and more. Real life skills that will perhaps turn out some entrepreneurs, activists, or just flat out world changers. #goals 
 
Because we like to live life to the max, Flower Child is also going to do some courses at our local children's play place that offers really cool "learning labs." Don't worry, they are short commitments so we can squeeze it all in.
 
 
I cannot believe the time has come for the 2015/2016 school year, can you? If you homeschool, what are some picks you are super excited about this year? If you don't, what are your kids (and you) looking forward to the most with the whole back to school routine?
 
Next time, I might do a little homeschool room tour because it is so cliché and necessary for a mommy blogger who homeschools and I relish in living out clichés.
 
 
Here's to educating our kids...
-C.