"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Emerson

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Another Year Older...

Today marked my 27th year on this Earth. For the first time in my life, this birthday was overshadowed with a certain melancholy at the fact that I am getting older. I've never experienced that before, but with 30 lurking around the corner, I have realized I am no longer a child.

Why does aging sadden us so much, I wonder? Is it the fact that we are no longer the youth filled, carefree person we once were? Does the fear of leaving this life cause us to hate every time we grow one year older? Or is it having to watch these earthly vessels of ours start to crumble before our eyes that brings us such a sense of discouragement as each day of our birth rolls around?

I think sometimes our eyes get so fixated on what was behind us: that perfect figure we didn't know we had until it was gone, the easy life of no adult responsibilities, or the inability to know what was to come. Aging brings us to a point where we reflect and ask ourselves, where did another year go? Our sentences all begin with: just yesterday and before I knew it.

The funniest part is that so much of our youth is spent wishing we were older. At 5, I wanted to be 13 so I could sit at the big kids table during Thanksgiving dinner. At 13, I wanted to be 16 so I could drive and feel free. At 16, I wanted to be 18 so I could legally be considered an adult. At 18, I wanted to be 21 so I could have all the privileges of full fledged adulthood. At 21, I wanted to be 25, just so I could rent a car if I so chose. So many years, so many milestone years, were spent wasted on wanting to move on to the next stage. Now, I am finding myself wanting to slow this train down a bit so I can enjoy the scenery.

But, the truth is, the train is only going to speed up, which is why it becomes so important to enjoy every fleeting second of every single season God brings us through:
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-9 (NIV)
Here's to enjoying this next season...
Until next time,
-C.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Becoming a Statistic

This is a blog that has been on my heart for quite some time now. I just wasn't sure when I was ready to get the words on to this virtual paper. Sometime this year, I will become a statistic. I will join the ranks of so many of my dearest friends and family members. This year, I will become a child of divorce.

I've wondered so often if it is any easier to become a child of the big D at 27 than it is at 7 years of age. On one hand, a child gets a certain amount of shelter and protection (in some cases) against the ugly truth about their parent's relationship. As an adult child going through a divorce, the details may be more known and parents can come to regard you as a peer rather than their child. So, the young child going through a divorce of their parents wishes they knew more about the situation and the adult child going through a divorce, wishes they knew less. It begs the question as to whether or not divorce is an easy thing at any age. From my experience, the resounding answer is no.

It is such a trying time when one has to realize the very frailty of those they held on the highest pedastals. The truth is that realizing our own parents imperfection justs spurs on that desire for finding the One who is perfect. Perhaps the hardest part for me has been watching my parents in such a state of pain that I can't control or help with. Realizing our own lack of power is perhaps the greatest difficulty in any situation where the ones we love are hurting.

I guess my ultimate prayer for each of you reading this is that we can all come to accept that our lives are completely filled with imperfect people, people we love dearly yet who may disappoint us, people we hold in high esteem yet have to watch as they come tumbling down. Our desire should not be to change these people, but to simply love them no matter where they are in life, in their spirituality or their circumstances. It is by no means an easy task, but it is one we are given supernatural strength to complete.

I could never quite sympathize with people who came from broken homes before I did. I didn't get it. I couldn't understand how hard it was. As I child, I thought it would be cool to have two rooms and two birthday parties. I never understood the impact it had on a person and how much pain it could cause no matter what the age you experienced it at.

For my blogging friends who have not had to experience the pain or trauma of divorce, I would just encourage you to be thankful for a family that has remained in tact. For those of you who have gone through one or are currently going through one, I would encourage you to cling to God's words and promises for us. I want to leave you with a couple:

"Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me." Psalm 27:10 (NIV)
- Remember that no matter how imperfect our earthly parents are, our Heavenly Father will never let us down.

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Ephesians 6:1-3 (NIV)
- No matter how much you feel you may have been hurt or let down, continue to remember the high place of reverence God calls us to hold our parents in with an obedience, so long as it is in accordance with God's word.

People fail us. This is an undeniable truth about our time here on this earth. It is a difficult pill to swallow. But, in spite of this, continue to seek to find the good in those we love. Continue to find the One who will never fail us or forsake us. Continue to be steadfast in your trust in Him and Him alone.

Until next time,
-C.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Industry...

"She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
"
Proverbs 31:13-24 NIV


So, this Ms. P 31 that we have been studying this past couple of blogs is really starting to show her true colors. First off, we have determined that she brings her husband good, not evil, through the way she treats him. Next, we are going to see a very important trait: industry.


Whether you stay at home or work outside the home, this concept of industry is very important. You see Mrs. 31 is not a thumb twiddler. She is up and at 'em in every area of her life: business and on the home front. I think these verses can be liberating to us, ladies. For those of you staying home and wondering if you should allow those degrees on your wall to collect dust, you can look at her and see how she made a career out of taking care of her family. If you work, you can look at her and see that she was a business woman, a seamstress and a realtor, yet she still managed to be the care taker of her home as well. She is also a philanthropist, giving of her time to help those in need. I don't think these verses suggest that you have to do it all and do it all at once. But, what it does show is how we should be industrious in all our roles: wife, mother, businesswoman, humanitarian.


Work is a part of this life. God's word says, "So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?" Ecclesiastes 3:22 (NIV)


Whatever "job" God has given us at this season in our life, we can choose to learn to enjoy it and be industrious in it, or we can choose to loathe it and become lazy. Only one will bring us closer to how He desires us to be. Only one will show an unbelieving world a true view of Christianity.


I think the important aspect to gain from these verses that is perhaps not clearly spelled out, is Mrs. P's attitude. No where in the verse does it say that "Begrudgedly, she selects wool and flax," or "Against her will, she opens her arms to the poor." No, Mrs. 31 is doing all these tasks without a grumble or a complaint. In fact, I think her attitude about her work is summed up by the following:

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
Colossians 3:23-24 (NIV)


Whether you are a stay at home soccer mom (that's me...part time), a three day a week pediatric emergency room nurse (that's my bff), or a full time lawyer, business woman or administrative assistant, do it as though you are doing it unto the Lord. If that is where He has placed you for a given season, then accept that call and just work as if He is your ultimate boss. What an amazing change we might see in our world if an army of Proverbs 31 wannabe's started acting as though they were serving the ultimate Boss and not some earthly tyrant (which may take the form of a two year old in some cases...). Could lives begin to change? Could hearts begin to change? Could people begin to see us as this woman that we have placed upon a pedestal?

Here's to industry...

Until next time,

-C.

Your Turn:
1.) Attitude Check: No matter what your position in life, how is your attitude towards it? Do you set about your tasks with the same vigor and industry as our new BFF?
2.) What causes our attitude to sour? Is it the hustle and bustle of busyness? Is it fatigue? Is it lost perspective? What makes you have a bad attitude towards your given lot in life?
3.) Think about your main "job." How can you start working as if your boss is the One and Only?