"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Emerson

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Struggle, Struggle, Struggle.

I thought God was giving me a period of relaxation from all the stressful life events that have taken place these past 9 months, but then on Thursday and Friday I got more waves of trial and difficulty. God keeps bringing me to the brink of situations that drive me into a state of fear and I have been struggling with the question of why. Now, I find myself on the brink of two very scary situations yet again and I am not quite sure if this will be the time He brings me over the edge into some of my very worst fears. I can't help but start to understand Job.

Those who know the story of Job know that he lost everything or had everything he held dear threatened in his life. Job had some not so great friends who blamed all his tragedies on his own sin. But you see, Job was a righteous man who loved the Lord. Little did he know, God had made an agreement with the devil for Satan to pluck all the things from Job's life that he held dear, with the one caveat that he was not to take Job's life. The story ends with a righteous man remaining righteous, without losing faith completely. But, it doesn't end without the nagging question of why. Job, the Psalms, and so many other places in God's word we come face to face with people going through intense periods of distress, crying out to God, begging the question why. God allows it. In fact, I think He welcomes it. With the understanding that the answer may not come in this lifetime.

This human stuff is tough, I won't lie. It sometimes seems like we can't get a break and sometimes, we truly can't. Faith isn't for the faint of heart. Even when I feel like I have nothing left anymore, not an ounce of faith to muster up, I still hear Him whispering that He is there. Even though I am mad and want Him to just stop with the lessons and character building, I know He is doing it all for my good. I can continue along this road with my head lifted to the sky, muttering to my God, why? why? why? The answer may not be made available quite yet, but I know it is there.

My memory verse this week:
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." Psalm 126:5-6

So, maybe all that stuff we go through that leaves us screaming, why? why? why? are building muscles so we can carry our sheaves.

Here's to getting stronger...

Until next time,


Will and Jennifer Farmer said...

Amen! We are still praying for you mama.

Anonymous said...

Found your blog on the Wives of Faith Web site today and I've enjoyed browsing your posts.

I co-authored the book Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives, to which Sara Horn (Wives of Faith founder) contributed.

Since you are a military wife I wonder if you’d consider looking at the book and consider posting a review for it at Amazon.com? If so, I'd gladly send you a complimentary copy (if you don't already have one) if you'll reply with your postal mailing address. There is no obligation, of course.

Thanks for your consideration!
Jocelyn Green