"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Emerson

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Crossing the finish line...

Ahhhh, today I was able to inhale and exhale with the rush of peace flowing through my lungs. Yes, my blog readin' friends, my husband has officially completed his advanced flight training, and those oh so coveted Pensacola wings of gold will be placed ever so lovingly upon his chest, by yours truly. Praise GOD!!!

I must admit. His wing date as they call it (fancy word for graduation...) hung in the balance this weekend with the arrival of our friend, Gustav. We were told sometime on Sunday that he would in fact be pushed back to the next class, which meant 3 weeks of hanging around here with nothing to do but duty and other menial tasks as well as 5 non-transferable, non-refundable plane tickets down the drain. But, luckily for us, we received a call last night as we drove home from our "evacation" in Savannah saying he was on the schedule today and that he would be eligible to wing on 9/12 if he completed the flight. Oh, friends, how I prayed he would! I tried to be impartial, reasoning that if he didn't get it done, God had a better plan. But that God of mine had a lesson for me. The whole time I heard Him whispering trust me. As acts of nature and bad timing threatened my hopeful end to our time here, He said I can handle it. My mind raced with thoughts of yeah, but... and what if and many other man-sized barriers my mind had created. He kept whispering, without getting angry or upset with me and my human doubt, trust me. So, I decided it was my best option...to trust Him and I had resolved to be content no matter what the outcome. I can't explain the joy my heart lept with when I heard that we wouldn't have to wait any longer!

Don't get me wrong...I like it here, I like the people here, but my time is done. The next phase is awaiting and I am ready to jump into it and see where it leads us. God has just been working on me so these last couple of months. I feel as though I've been on an emotional rollercoaster, of which I did not meet the height requirement for. A lot of it has to do with the people in my life: some whom have struggled, some whom are hurting, some who have hurt me, some whom I am sure I have hurt. God made me realize that as we place more and more focus on the people, we can go faster and faster on the rollercoaster. Now don't mishear me...He wants us to be people focused in terms of helping and ministering, but He doesn't want them to be our god. He doesn't want them to control our contentment or discontentment. With our eyes firmly fixed upon Him, we can go around and around on the merry go round of life, up and down the rollercoaster of emotion, and to the greatest heights and lowest lows of the ferris wheel of expectations, all without one sensation of nausea, one feeling of dizziness, or a single fear of falling.

I realized that this weekend. I was sick of feeling sick from this amusement park. I wanted to feel His peace constantly. I wanted to not be thrown into the throes of anxiety and despair at the drop of a hat. So, I decided to pray that for myself this week, and continue to pray it. I hope you will pray it for me as well.

Our time here is coming to a close, and it is of course met with a mixed bag of emotions. Despite the bag, I my friends, have such a sense of calm and peace that I know I might not have if God hadn't changed me these past couple of months. There is so much in this life that we get so bent out of shape about that truly should not even nick us. There is so much that is more important than these momentary troubles and roller coaster rides. I pray we can all focus on such things!

Here's to a peaceful ride...

Until next time...
-C.

1 comment:

CorpsWife4Life said...

Congratulations! I know it must feel soooo good to be finished and have that peace that He was in control the whole time. We'll miss you here but I'm excited for you! God bless, all the best, and keep in touch!

--Christi