One is the loneliest number...

"Language...has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of [it]."

-Paul Tillich

I again find myself alone for a few weeks while the hubby is training. I am reminded of the ache of not having my best friend and husband here with me each night, but I have also begun to see the redeeming value of a time of solitude. As a military wife, I am quickly learning that this is my state of being for the most part. Deployments and a ridiculous work schedule will give me more time by myself than with my husband. Before you start feeling pity for me, I want you to take a minute to look at this condition so many of us deem a pain rather than a glory.

Loneliness and solitude serve a spiritual purpose no matter how bad it can cause an ache in our side. Loneliness is as much as condition of the human experience as it is a condition of God's design. It is not without reason. Here is some scriptural proof:

1.) Loneliness forces us to turn to God.
"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted."Psalm 25:16 NIV

Loneliness is an attention grabber if ever our hearts had one. If there is anything that can force us to cry, "Hello God! It's me ________," loneliness is it. However, we often miss out on this opportunity to turn to Him and instead engage in activities that try to unravel the cord of solitude. Have you ever considered that perhaps the season or emotional aloneness you are going through could in fact be a way for God to finally get your attention and focus?

2.) God's power is revealed in the lonely.
"God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land." Psalm 68:6 NIV
God likes to do the things that are counter intuitive to our mere mortal minds. The poor are rich in His eyes. The weak are strong. So, it would naturally follow that the lonely, He sets in families. As I look at how God has blessed my military journey, I am always reminded of the "families" He has provided me at every stop along the way. In Virginia, it was a group of Marines I fed quite regularly. In Florida, it was a Navy boy and a Marine (who I also fed quite regularly...) down the street along with an abundance of Christian sisters who were in the same military boat as me. Here, I've found the most incredible church family I have ever had in my life and another bountiful group of sisters in Christ whose husbands serve in the armed services. You see, God set me, a lonely girl following a boy and his dream in these "families." Families that have supported me through laughter and tears and everything in between.

3.) Loneliness is an opportunity for prayer.
"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." Luke 5:16
One thing I have found in the course of training and deployment is that my prayer life is stronger when my husband is gone. Perhaps it is the fact that there is limited adult interaction or that I just need to talk to someone. Sometimes we are forced to withdraw. And sometimes, like Christ, we need to choose it. Christ would often leave all the people that surrounded him to pray. Loneliness is an opportunity, if we will take it.

From a practical side, times of separation give me time to focus on things that I normally can't when my husband is here. I hate stagnation. And when I see people becoming stagnate in seasons where they have a chance to develop and grow, I can become frustrated beyond belief. If we believe what we say we believe, than we must recognize that everything serves a purpose, even if we don't necessarily know it. God has been showing me that in my times of solitude, He wants me to use it for writing, a call He has placed in my heart. Good writers need to experience every ounce of emotion they can to become credible and so it is my belief that the more emotion I feel, the better writer I can become. For others, He may use times of loneliness to focus one's efforts on their physical health, learning a new hobby, or creating. The point is that if you are finding yourself in a season of feeling alone, are you asking the question, "God, what should be my focus right now?" Loneliness can hurl us into a state of depression or spur us towards progression. It just depends on one to make the choice.

Here's to the lonely hearts club...

Until next time,
-C.

Attitude

I've got a bad attitude lately. And not just one of minor annoyance, but a stomp my feet, throw my hands down, and temper tantrum like my two year old, kind.

You see, me and a certain government branch have not been getting along lately. While I won't tell you to whom I am referring that begins with U, ends with C and has a SM in the middle, I will tell you we have been fighting.

My husband once described me as the "moto" one in our relationship. I wore the tee shirts. I spoke the lingo. I loved the atmosphere of camis and boots. But, then a little something called "the fleet" happened and I found myself losing my moto faster than a CH-53.

But, God has been working on me and my attitude. While in part He feels compassion towards my situation, He also in part has been encouraging me to accept the life we have chosen. While I thought my hubby would be home by dinner time every night when not on a deployment, I have found myself with cold plates of food and no husband to report of until the wee hours of the night. Only to be followed by an early start and another late end.

Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we thought it would. Sometimes things just don't seem fair and we want to have drop on the floor, writhe and scream, like the toddlers we care for each and every day. Sometimes government officials write schedules that infuriate the spouses of those in the armed service. Sometimes a job can seem to take away so much from a family that we begin to forget the reasons why we took this route in the first place. It happens.

And while we are to cast our cares upon our God, because He cares for us, we are also to take a little attitude check. As Christians, circumstance does not dictate our chosen outlook on life, Christ does. You ready to take a look at attitude?

1.) It is to be Christ-like:

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness." Philippians 2:5-7 NIV

Christ was God. Yet, He was willing to humble himself to a lower position to complete the task He was given. We in the same ways need to humble ourselves, whether it being to the United States Marine Corps, accepting gratefully the opportunity to serve others as both a Marine and a Marine family, or something else in this life. If we believe that God is the God in control, we have to believe that every situation and everything that happens is for a reason.

2.) We have to get a new one:

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24 NIV

Those of us in Christ aren't to have the same attitudes as we did before we knew Him. You see my flesh is constantly telling me, "ME, ME, ME!" "If I am not happy, then nothing else matters." But, my husband's job is an important one. It is one of great sacrifice on his and I am learning now, my part. Part of becoming more Christ-like in attitude is accepting that it isn't all about me as my flesh would like me to believe. Sometimes, people choose paths that have a greater significance than just themselves. Sacrifice is involved. But, even through that experience, we can come to understand more about the God we serve and His own sacrifice.

3.) We have to have a standard for it:

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:12-13 NIV

Part of my struggle has been justification of my attitude. I have been in a total child-like state answering God's pangs of conviction with, "Well, the Marine Corps started it..." and "It's not my fault!" But, then I get into God's word and I see verses like "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe." Philippians 2:14-15 NIV

It is then I am reminded that God didn't say, "Do everything except being a military wife without complaining..." Nope, while I would like it to have been a typo, His word is pretty clear: everything is to be done without complaining.

Attitude can be a make-or-break us thing. Bad ones can keep us from having a life filled with blessing because we are so focused on the hardship, difficulties, or imperfections. Good ones can get us through situations, relationships, and even careers in a way we never imagined possible. This is not a done deal for me. I am still working on it and will probably continue to be working on it for the remainder of my husband's contract. But, I have started to accept those things I just can't change and have begun to try to change the one thing I can: my attitude.

Here's to a new outlook...

Until next time,

-C.

My top ten favorite...blog entries

Having this blog has been like having a virtual diary. Granted, this diary can be read by anyone with a computer and internet access, but I like to forget that part.

Here are my top ten favorite blog posts:

10. Consumerism
9. Redirection
8. Be Kind
7. Be careful what you wish for
6. The Power of Words
5. Be ye transformed
4. Blink of an eye
3. At your service
2. Conscious Living
1. The Gentle Whisper

Thanks to all of you who read my ramblings...

Here's to pickin' favorites...

Until next time,
-C.

Patience is a virtue...

Only seven days, well technically 6 days, and approximately 7 hours separate me and my love. The pilot is somewhere in the ocean, leisurely floatin' his way back to my arms. Yet, I have found myself going against my usual nature and being very patient as I waited through this deployment...until now. It seems the closer he gets to coming home, the more impatient I grow. It has become the kind of impatience that makes one a tad bit annoyed, frustrated and in general, bad company to be in the presence of. But, it is just that the time is so close to being over, I just can't stand another minute!

Alas, God reminds me of the importance of patience, waiting upon Him as I wait upon a very large Navy ship, whose maximum speed is 25 mph. Yes, just 25 measly mph, and that is once they get their gas tank filled up. Right now, they are drifting at about 15mph. No wonder they say full speed ahead...otherwise, they might NEVER get home!

One thing I've learned about living the military life is that we military people are forced to choose to live with the lessons of faith and God more so than you civilian types. While most civilians have the luxury of pushing out thoughts of impending doom on their family, we in the military have to look at it everyday and decide what to do with it. To let it consume us with fear or empower us to love harder in every moment we are given with our Marine, Soldier, or Sailor. While most civilians can use words like faith, prayer, and trust as a passive punchline, we must choose to make it a firm foundation to stand upon in times of trouble or to collapse under the pressures without it.

A little lesson in patience comes compliments of the United States Marine Corps. But, the bigger lesson comes from my God above, who says, "Just remember what this longing feels like because soon he will be home and the temptation of taking for granted his presence along with the monotony of life, will come." Perhaps patience is a virtue.

Here's to full speed ahead...
Until next time,
-C.

The Gentle Whisper

Man, I couldn't even go a month without writing. I sure did try, but words have been trying to leap out of my heart for days now. I guess the only thing to do is share them with you.

This scripture just pierced my soul and I am wondering if it will pierce yours.

"The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper."

-1 Kings 19:11-12 (NIV)

Elijah's story is that of a most faithful servant, who but in the same breath almost lost His faith altogether. In his inhale, he was amazed by God's faithfulness to him, yet in the exhale was struck by paralyzing fear as he faced adversity.

And as wind, earthquakes, and fire erupted before his eyes, he kept looking for his God. Yet, it wasn't in the loud, powerful promulgations that God made known His presence, but rather, through a soft, gentle whisper.

How often do we find ourselves like Elijah? Believing wholeheartedly in the power of our God in one drawed in breath, and then, watching that belief all but disapear in the next. Then, as God comes to reveal Himself to us, we become so fixated on monstrous, palpable demonstrations that we miss the faint sound of His voice saying, "Here I am!"

Can we get our respiration to reflect the truth of God's character? Can we find belief when circumstance entices us towards doubt? Can we focus our ears and eyes not on the sounds of the disasters that whiz by us, but on the gentle whisper that comes afterwards?

Faith is not for the meandering charlatan, but rather for the persistent pathfinder, who blazes through the unkown towards the sound of a simple hushed utterance.

Here's to hearing the gentle whisper...

Until next time,

-C.

Taking a break...

Ok, so I am pulling this plug. Not that any of you are waiting by your computer for the next blog, but I need a break. Not sure for how long, but sometimes you just got to retreat a bit.

Anyway, thanks for your readership...if that is a word and I'll see you eventually again in about a month or two or maybe more depending...

Here's to a break...

Until next time,
-C.

Struggle, Struggle, Struggle.

I thought God was giving me a period of relaxation from all the stressful life events that have taken place these past 9 months, but then on Thursday and Friday I got more waves of trial and difficulty. God keeps bringing me to the brink of situations that drive me into a state of fear and I have been struggling with the question of why. Now, I find myself on the brink of two very scary situations yet again and I am not quite sure if this will be the time He brings me over the edge into some of my very worst fears. I can't help but start to understand Job.

Those who know the story of Job know that he lost everything or had everything he held dear threatened in his life. Job had some not so great friends who blamed all his tragedies on his own sin. But you see, Job was a righteous man who loved the Lord. Little did he know, God had made an agreement with the devil for Satan to pluck all the things from Job's life that he held dear, with the one caveat that he was not to take Job's life. The story ends with a righteous man remaining righteous, without losing faith completely. But, it doesn't end without the nagging question of why. Job, the Psalms, and so many other places in God's word we come face to face with people going through intense periods of distress, crying out to God, begging the question why. God allows it. In fact, I think He welcomes it. With the understanding that the answer may not come in this lifetime.

This human stuff is tough, I won't lie. It sometimes seems like we can't get a break and sometimes, we truly can't. Faith isn't for the faint of heart. Even when I feel like I have nothing left anymore, not an ounce of faith to muster up, I still hear Him whispering that He is there. Even though I am mad and want Him to just stop with the lessons and character building, I know He is doing it all for my good. I can continue along this road with my head lifted to the sky, muttering to my God, why? why? why? The answer may not be made available quite yet, but I know it is there.

My memory verse this week:
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." Psalm 126:5-6

So, maybe all that stuff we go through that leaves us screaming, why? why? why? are building muscles so we can carry our sheaves.

Here's to getting stronger...

Until next time,
-C.