"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you."
-Psalm 9:10Trust (noun): reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety of a person or thing; confidence. (www.dictionary.com)
Trust. I'd like to say that I wholeheartedly trust my creator in any given circumstance. I'd like to say that when "life comes at [me] fast", I immediately have confidence that my God will handle it all. But, the truth of the matter is, this is the lesson God is working His darndest on me right now.
For the past four months, I have been going through the darkest season of my life up to this point. I thought the sun was finally showing through the clouds and then more bad news, more pain, more suffering began falling from the skies. It is easy to automatically ask God why He is allowing all of this trial in my life in such a tone that denotes that it is a bad thing. But, He keeps bringing me back to this question, Do you trust me?
I always stumble when it is time to answer, "Well, yeah God, sure, um, yeah, I trust you ." Then, He says, "Let's find out..." as a new hurdle or hardship enters my path. Then, I find myself in a heavenly tug of war with God with the rope of my problems in between us. "God, surely I trust you in most circumstances, but THIS ONE, I am not quite sure of...let me take it and worry about it and mull over it awhile." But, trust doesn't work like that. It is a very all or nothing choice. You can't dip your toes in the trust pool, you have to canon ball into it. I have to canon ball into it.
There are 179 Biblical references for the word "trust." Is that significant? Absolutely! God shows us the things that matter the most to Him by His repetition of concepts and His desires for our lives in His word. He is constantly seeking an unwavering trust in Him alone, yet we are constantly tugging and pulling on the rope of our problems just in case God can't handle this one thing.
It is a unique gift to be in the midst of one of God's lessons for you and recognize it as such. Usually, we don't quite realize that we have been going through the school of the Lord until well after the fact, when we reflect upon it to see His hand in our lives. But, to be able to go through struggles and to have Him share with you what His ending desire is for your life is a miracle. Does it make the struggles any less painful? Usually not, but it gives them a newfound purpose and respect for the refining that is happening through them. Every lesson and every sermon I have heard in church, Sunday School, on the radio, and in Bible study the past two months have been on: fear, trusting God, having faith and similar topics. He is giving me the cliff notes to His lesson, if I would give up my stubborn hold on my circumstances and just trust Him.
One of the points He has made to me is that the trust is not that everything turns out to be my perfect scenario of resolution. No, our God is not that superficial. He doesn't want to just put the pieces back together so they fit just as we think they should. Our God wants more for us. He wants us to get beyond a life of everything turning out just as we wanted. He wants to give us a life in which we turn out just as He wanted. That is the goal. He wants to know that if our worse case scenario happens, we can still trust that He is exactly who He says He is: the mighty, loving, trustworthy God.
Trust. This is my lesson. This is the question of the day. I don't know that I have or ever will completely pass the test, but each day, each circumstance, each suffering is a chance to check Yes next to test question one: Do you trust the Lord with everything in your life?
Here's to trust....
Until next time,
Your turn (respond in my comments if you so choose)
1.) What makes trusting so hard?
2.) Why is it that God can bring us from so low valleys to a high mountain yet we face a valley again, we forget everything He has done for us up to then?
3.) What is the opposite of trust?
4.) What does it mean to trust someone? How does someone gain trust? How do they lose it? How does our idea of trust for people affect our trust in God?
5.) Do you think we will ever learn this lesson or is it a lifelong struggle?