"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Emerson

Friday, July 11, 2008


So, last night I went to the gym by myself. Rick has had late flights allllllll week long so I recruited Navy, one of the single guys down the street, to come study here while Grace slept and I worked out. It was a perfect plot that only required me to make a pot of chili beforehand.

Anyway, so I get to the gym and get on the dreaded cardio machines. I hate cardio. I do it because I know I need to, but oh how I despise it. As I am working out on the death machine, I look back and my eye is caught by the empty basketball gymnasium behind me.

For those of you who don't know, growing up, I was a basketball fanatic. The Chicago Bulls were my life and I spent grades 6-8 in exclusively licensed Bull apparel. (Yes, I was a tomboy...get over it.) Michael Jordan was my hero and I would always imagine my basketball rolling away, only to be stopped by Michael's foot, and the question, "Want to play?" like it happened to the kid in Michael Jordan's playground (if you haven't seen it, you must...Mike is not quite an oscar contender).

Anyway, so I decide to scrap the torture device and go the basketball court. I hadn't played in years, mind you, but it was this insane rush of emotions...yes, emotions, over shooting some hoops. All of a sudden, I felt like me for a minute. Memories of running up and down the court in practices and in games came flooding into my mind. The sound of the shot clock ticking down, everything just hit me. And in that moment, I felt so alive.

It sounds stupid, I know. But, I have been in a "funk" lately. I know why and I am dealing with it, but for a moment on that court I remembered a passion of mine, a love of mine. To get back to one of the things I used to do for me, a thing I used to do to clear my head, was amazing.

As a momma, you tend to forget those things that made you happy before your child. You tend to forget the things that make you, you. Last night, I was reminded and I am so happy I was. I'm gonna start playing more. Who knows? Maybe my jump shot will return (wait, no...I never really had one.) or maybe I'll just feel a little more like me.

For those of you concerned about my recent "funk", I am happy to report that I have reached my deadline and the pity party is coming to a close. Time to suck it up and walk it off as my husband would say. Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts!

Anyway, here's to finding a piece that was lost....

Until next time...

1 comment:

Will & Jennifer said...

I'm glad that you found that piece. I so remember you in the b-ball jerseys and the Michael Jordan stand-up in your room. How fun!