Home is where...

I've been wondering lately...when does a place become your "home"? It is strange because North Carolina should have quickly become my home again. I know a lot of the area, my family and my husband's family are near by, and I know the "way of life" here pretty well (all though, it often baffles me...). So, it should have very easily melded back into being "home" for me.

But, after you leave your parents house, the longer you are away from it, the more and more it dissolves from being called "home." You all know the cliches, "you can never go home again," "home is where the heart is," etc. etc. I guess with adulthood, the definition of home can become convoluted and not as straight forward of an answer when you were a child.

We haven't gotten "plugged in" here yet. We have had a lot going on: personal stuff, house buying stuff, busy work schedules, etc. We haven't moved into our new house yet so we are still Marine Corps gypsies. In Florida, we had a very full life as well, filled with a variety of people and activities. Right now, we have a lot of things going on here, but that feeling of home is not here yet.

I have faith it will come eventually. It is just hard, because our previous home doesn't feel like home either, so we are in a state of homelessness. Having those you love surrounding you definitely makes it easier to begin to feel at home, but I wonder if part of getting that feeling is a certain amount of familiarity that only comes with time and adventure. I really don't know...

Consider this: "Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands." 2 Corinthians 5:1 (NIV). Home truly does not exist in the form of a building, a certain location or a specific person. Our true home is immovable, unchanging and everlasting. We don't have to move...ever. We don't have to start anew with new friends, new church, new activities, or a new house. It is difficult to get our human standards to understand this truth. We equate home with these things. We feel unrest until we have a certain life or schedule. But, the reality is that no matter where we live, our home will forever be the same...if we so choose.

Here's to finding home...

Until next time-
-C.

Jonah

1 From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the LORD his God. 2 He said:
"In my distress I called to the LORD,
and he answered me.
From the depths of the grave [a] I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
3 You hurled me into the deep,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.
4 I said, 'I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.'
5 The engulfing waters threatened me, [b]
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
6 To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you brought my life up from the pit,
O LORD my God.
7 "When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, LORD,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.
8 "Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
9 But I, with a song of thanksgiving,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
Salvation comes from the LORD."
10 And the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

I may have posted this before, but God keeps bringing back to the prayer Jonah prayed from inside the whale. When you look at it closely, you will see it is not a prayer for deliverance, but a prayer of thanksgiving. Thanksgiving in the midst of a storm and despair.

Here's to thanksgiving...

Until next time,
-C.

House buying and other stresses...

So, we have been spending the past couple of weeks in search for THE house. Granted, this is our first home buying experience so THE house is not supposed to be anything spectacular. But, it is hard when there are certain things you want in a house...

I never realized how much stess this whole house buying thing is...you have to decide where you want to live for an extended period of time and you better be sure you are right, because if not, you are stuck with something you aren't particularly fond of. Then, add in the stress of an agent, who may or may not help your stress level. They have their ideas and favorite areas as well, so it can add another guessing game of are they trying to help me or help themselves.

Today, I think we may have found it though...THE house. We will have to see what God says about the whole thing, but you never know. It is just so much stress anticipating: will they accept an offer if we "lowball" as they say?

But, the good part is, this marks a new chapter in our lives. We are becoming more and more "official adults." Who knew it was so difficult? I guess I finally understand what parents were always saying about how hard adulthood is...

Here's to new phases....

Until next time-
-C.

Britney...

I heard this song on the radio today. It alludes to Britney Spears, but the singer, Bebo Norman, says it is more about the way the world has forced such destructive views onto women and girls. I think about this concept a lot having a little girl myself and a little sister, who will face more in their teenage years than I will have my entire life. I think about how am I going to teach them to love themselves and to have a positive self-image, when I know it is something I as well as countless others, have struggled with through the years. I wonder how I can lead them through this world unscathed by the evil that exists against women.

Satan has launched a full flege attack against women. He fills our minds with lies as to what is important. He fills our hearts with discontent about ourselves and our bodies. He confuses us with our choices: working mothers have guilt for working, stay at home mothers feel a sense of "what if." He puts images in our culture that create an unattainable standard and yet, we believe it is attainable and expected of us. In fact, in some countries, the attack of Satan is so violent that women are mutilated, raped, and even killed. Before you go thinking I am talking about Africa or another foreign land, turn on the news and you will see the violence is right in your backyard, you yourself or a loved one may have experienced it.

So long as Satan finds willing victims, he will continue his attack. Are you ready to stop him? Are you ready to believe the truths about who you are and what you are worth? Are you ready to stop focusing on the imperfections of your temporary vessel and focus on the truth that you are fearfully and wonderfully made? I know I am sure tired of the constant evaluation of what lies in the mirror...

Below is the link and lyrics to the song, "Britney" by Bebo Norman. Listen to it...

Yet again, as I finished this, parts of my work were lost due to an internet connection failure. This is the first time the internet connection has failed since we got here...someone didn't want me to post this.

Here is to no longer accepting the lies...

Until next time-

-C.

http://musicremedy.com/audio/index.cfm?FuseAction=ShowAudioPlayer&AudioId=25329&Quality=5



"Britney" By Bebo Norman
Britney im sorry for the lies we told
we took you into our arms and then left you cold
britney im sorry for this cruel cruel world
we sell the beauty but destroy the girl
britney im sorry for your broken heart
we stood aside and watched you fall apart
im sorry we told you fame would fill you up
and money moves the man so drink the cup
i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
you never see it coming back
i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
but i can see it coming back for you
yes coming back for you
britney im sorry for the stones we throw
we tear you down just so we can watch the show
britney im sorry for the words we say
we point the finger as you fall from grace
i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
you never see it coming back
and i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
but i can see it coming back for you
yeah, its coming back for you,
yeah, its coming back for you,
yeah, its coming back for you,
yeah britney i do believe that love has come here
for the broken here for the ones like us
i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
you never see it coming back and
i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
but i can see it coming back
i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
you never see it coming back
i can see it coming back for you
its coming back for you... yeah

Feels good to mingle with these laid back country folks, huh Harr?

Well, today Grace and I went exploring our new "home." It seems it will be our new home for at least the next 4 years as hubby was told today that he would be permanently stationed here. I guess there is our answer. Part of me really wanted Cherry Point, but part of me wanted here because it is so close to Wilmington, which I am discovering is an awesome city. (I did live there for a summer back in college, but obviously, didn't get to explore it that much...) Anyway, hubby and I have been discussing potentially staying in the area we are currently in, living near the beach because well, we love the beach.

So, today baby and I ate at this cute little bakery/cafe. As we were coming out, Grace had shoved her face with goldfish and was holding my hand as we walked. This old lady walked past us and said, "What a cutie!" Grace didn't react as she was focused on walking and not choking. Then, the lady had the nerve to say, "Not very friendly, but cute!" At this point, enraged mommy disease kicked in and I thought of shoving the old lady off the curb. I know, I know...not very Christian. But, I just couldn't believe this woman had the audacity to say something in the 1.5 second interaction she had with my child and the fact that Grace is perhaps the happiest, friendliest kid out there. So, I walked past her and did not respond...mom did good and did not cause bodily harm to the mean local.

Then, we went to the nearby playground. While I was putting Grace in a swing, this bratty little kid, who looked to be Grace's twin in about 2 years, came up and started pushing the swing as I was trying to get her legs in. She kept saying, "no, this is my swing." I just grabbed Grace and we swang in piece together on another swing.

Afterwards, we headed to a "Luna Pops" store. It is basically an ice cream shop, but instead of ice cream, they sell homemade popsicles. Grace has nana as she likes to say and I a strawberry. It was fun just hanging out and exploring with my girl, in spite of the rudeness of those we encountered.

So, here's to finding your way around and not hitting old ladies ;).

Until next time-
-C.

Being in a Foreign Land

"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God."

Hebrews 11:8-10

This move has left me feeling something I have never felt before in my entire life...I have moved over 10 times, lived in about 7 different states, and over 9 cities. So, I know the emotions that go with moving. But, for the first time, I have felt like an alien in a foreign land. This has been quite shocking to my system. You see, I expected to be moving to the closest thing I have considered a "home" state in a long time, yet this area is completely different than the one I am used to near Raleigh. The layout of the land is strange to me. The people are different. The city is odd. I feel as though I have moved somewhere outside the United States and I don't speak the language.

I guess it really hit me today when we tried a new church. I have never been so overwhelmed at a church before. It was wonderful in that it was extremely diverse, but it was chaotic during worship. The preacher talked in a way that I could hardly follow. The music was unlike any I had experienced. I knew it wasn't where we were meant to be. My husband said it was a "typical military church," which I had thought would be a good thing because well, we are military. However, I have come to learn that military churches take a variety of styles due to the diverse nature of those in the military, and blend them into one. It was very unique, just not what I am used to. Afterwards, we tried a Mexican restaurant. Those who know me know the vital importance of this. However, it too was not what we were used to.

I feel as though I don't know where things are, I don't know the people here and for the life of me, I cannot figure out the thought process of those in this city's planning. My husband says that this is a typical military town, which is perhaps the greatest shock. I thought I had spent the past 4 years in typical military towns, but boy was I wrong. The towns before this one had other aspects to them besides the military, whether it be large cities near by or tourist attractions. This place was built around the military, which is an entirely different ball game.

It is just such an odd feeling to experience and such a culture shock since I was expecting what had come before. I guess that is a good lesson though. Sometimes we have this belief that we have experienced all emotions, all experiences, all potential outcomes when in fact there are several in the realm of experience we have never had.

Now, don't get me wrong...I am very content right now. I have just come to realize that my expectations were a bit off skew and I need to reevaluate this understanding of what military life truly is about. It may have more aspects to it than I had previously considered. I also have come to realize that if we do end up staying here, we will hopefully find a home further from the base near the beach where we are now, so I won't feel so discombobulated. The beach is so calming to me.

The good news is that we are all foreigners at one time or another. If we have a belief in God, we are all foreigners in this world, belonging elsewhere, but visiting for a short time. I know that I am not alone in this land that is my new "home". I am not quite sure I can call it that yet. Coupled with the sensation of being a gypsy, it has just given me such an understanding of what Abraham must have gone through as he searched for the promised land.

Anyway, I know this one is kind of random...but so is this town.

Here's to being a foreigner....

Until next time-
-C.

The storms...

Several years ago, I watched Jeremy Camp (a Christian rock singer) give his testimony. If you don't know his story, Jeremy fell in love with and married a woman who was dying of cancer. I don't remember all the details, but she eventually went home to be with the Lord. What struck me most about Jeremy's story is that he talked about the moment she passed. As he sat next to her bed and her last breath was exhaled, God told Jeremy to lift his hands and praise God in that moment. In his moment of loss and mourning, Jeremy was obedient to what God told him. I always come back to that thought: praising God in moments of darkness or pain. Can I do it? Will I do it? I always wonder if it is possible.

God has been really working on this with me lately. He keeps bringing it up in my life and in my time with Him. Today, I read "Utmost for His Highest" and it too talked about the concept of praising God in the midst of life's storms. I couldn't help but wonder why...why does God call us to this seemingly unnatural response to life's difficulties? Perhaps the answer lies in the question. Perhaps the reason is because it is unnatural, it is not of this world. The world tells us to sulk in our pain. The world tells us we can use our pain as an excuse for any future actions. The world tells us that we don't need to take responsibility for ourselves if we have hurts. But, if we truly know the creator of this universe, we can know that although pain may come, we can be more than conquerors of our earthly troubles...let me say that again, we can be more than conquerors (Romans 8:37). Do you know how incredible that is to do more than just conquer the obstacles we face?

Life is throwing storms my way right now, devastatingly big ones. But, amazingly for the first time, I feel as though I am learning to praise God during this time. This song by Casting Crowns has been playing in my mind lately and I think it sums up what we are to do in times of hurricanes, lightning, and other "natural" disasters in our lives:
"I was sure by now
God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"
-Casting Crowns "Praise You in This Storm"

Here's to praising Him in the storms...

Until next time-
-C.