Who do you trust?

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you."

-Psalm 9:10

Trust (noun): reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety of a person or thing; confidence. (www.dictionary.com)

Trust. I'd like to say that I wholeheartedly trust my creator in any given circumstance. I'd like to say that when "life comes at [me] fast", I immediately have confidence that my God will handle it all. But, the truth of the matter is, this is the lesson God is working His darndest on me right now.

For the past four months, I have been going through the darkest season of my life up to this point. I thought the sun was finally showing through the clouds and then more bad news, more pain, more suffering began falling from the skies. It is easy to automatically ask God why He is allowing all of this trial in my life in such a tone that denotes that it is a bad thing. But, He keeps bringing me back to this question, Do you trust me?

I always stumble when it is time to answer, "Well, yeah God, sure, um, yeah, I trust you ." Then, He says, "Let's find out..." as a new hurdle or hardship enters my path. Then, I find myself in a heavenly tug of war with God with the rope of my problems in between us. "God, surely I trust you in most circumstances, but THIS ONE, I am not quite sure of...let me take it and worry about it and mull over it awhile." But, trust doesn't work like that. It is a very all or nothing choice. You can't dip your toes in the trust pool, you have to canon ball into it. I have to canon ball into it.

There are 179 Biblical references for the word "trust." Is that significant? Absolutely! God shows us the things that matter the most to Him by His repetition of concepts and His desires for our lives in His word. He is constantly seeking an unwavering trust in Him alone, yet we are constantly tugging and pulling on the rope of our problems just in case God can't handle this one thing.

It is a unique gift to be in the midst of one of God's lessons for you and recognize it as such. Usually, we don't quite realize that we have been going through the school of the Lord until well after the fact, when we reflect upon it to see His hand in our lives. But, to be able to go through struggles and to have Him share with you what His ending desire is for your life is a miracle. Does it make the struggles any less painful? Usually not, but it gives them a newfound purpose and respect for the refining that is happening through them. Every lesson and every sermon I have heard in church, Sunday School, on the radio, and in Bible study the past two months have been on: fear, trusting God, having faith and similar topics. He is giving me the cliff notes to His lesson, if I would give up my stubborn hold on my circumstances and just trust Him.

One of the points He has made to me is that the trust is not that everything turns out to be my perfect scenario of resolution. No, our God is not that superficial. He doesn't want to just put the pieces back together so they fit just as we think they should. Our God wants more for us. He wants us to get beyond a life of everything turning out just as we wanted. He wants to give us a life in which we turn out just as He wanted. That is the goal. He wants to know that if our worse case scenario happens, we can still trust that He is exactly who He says He is: the mighty, loving, trustworthy God.

Trust. This is my lesson. This is the question of the day. I don't know that I have or ever will completely pass the test, but each day, each circumstance, each suffering is a chance to check Yes next to test question one: Do you trust the Lord with everything in your life?

Here's to trust....

Until next time,
-C.

Your turn (respond in my comments if you so choose)
1.) What makes trusting so hard?
2.) Why is it that God can bring us from so low valleys to a high mountain yet we face a valley again, we forget everything He has done for us up to then?
3.) What is the opposite of trust?
4.) What does it mean to trust someone? How does someone gain trust? How do they lose it? How does our idea of trust for people affect our trust in God?
5.) Do you think we will ever learn this lesson or is it a lifelong struggle?

The Road to Recovery...

I've always heard that saying, "The road to recovery." I never understood it because I really never had anything to recover from. Or I always thought it was meant in reference to addiction or injury, not to life's valleys.

I think I have finally understood this saying. When a trauma happens or anything in life that permanently alters who you are, there is a "road" that we all must travel down. I am not sure what the destination is. I don't think it is meant to be getting us back to being the same as we were before because if that were true then all we go through in life would be meaningless and just a cruel joke by a higher power. No, I think the destination is to become more than we were. The destination is to take the hurts, the pains, the injuries and to allow them to heal and make us stronger than we ever have been. Well, at least that is what I imagine at the end of my "road to recovery."

I think the hardest part about the road is that often we travel it alone. From the outside, we can look all put back together but on the inside we are still reeling from the damage. No one else can share our exact experience because we all experience things differently. So, while a tragedy may affect many people, each person will have their own road that they must travel. I think part of our humanity yearns so much to just know that someone else has shared in our pain or has known what we have gone through. And God tells us that this is part of the reason we go through tough times. It is alot like the epitome of trickle down economics (not the reality because well, let's face it, in practice, the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer, but I am not going to digress into a socio-political discussion :) ). You see God comforts us in our times of need so that when we encounter those with hurts and pains, we can be a comfort to them and they can feel God's comfort through us. It is a brilliant idea that we hopefully all realize our part in the great comfort economy.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." 2 Corinithians 1:3-5

It is so easy to get sucked into the "woe is me" rut and feed ourselves dramatic lies of how our pain is perhaps the worst pain ever endured. It is easy to forget the blessings we encounter every day. It is hard to view the difficulties as blessings to be discovered.

Here's to safe travels down your road...

Until next time,
-C.

Becoming steadfast...

"Firmly fixed in place. Immovable. Steadily directed. Unwavering. Firm in purpose, resolution, faith." These are the words that define steadfast. How often I fall from that mark! I feel, especially recently, as if I am on the most tremendous roller coaster with more loops and ups and downs than humanly imaginable. Lately, God has been revealing to me how we were not meant to live this way. We were meant to live fearlessly, "though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." (Psalm 46:2-3) Do you hear that bloggin' friends? The world around you can crumble, but you are to remain calm. To me, that is quite a tall order that I am finding myself failing at over and over again as I try to fill it.

So, how do we become steadfast in our faith? How do we become so fixed in our belief in our God that we can watch a mountain completely disintegrate into the ocean and still feel overwhelming peace? Don't worry, friends...I've done the research for you. Here is your answer to steadfast living...

I've been studying the Psalms and while I haven't gotten to this one quite yet, I went ahead and skipped ahead to answer the question of how to not be whisked away on this roller coaster of life.

Psalm 112 says:
Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
who finds great delight in his commands.

2 His children will be mighty in the land;
the generation of the upright will be blessed.

3 Wealth and riches are in his house,
and his righteousness endures forever.

4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.

5 Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely,
who conducts his affairs with justice.

6 Surely he will never be shaken;
a righteous man will be remembered forever.

7 He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear;
in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.

9 He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor,
his righteousness endures forever;
his horn [d] will be lifted high in honor.

10 The wicked man will see and be vexed,
he will gnash his teeth and waste away;
the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

The short answer: Righteous living

Yep, I won't even charge you for that. If you truly want to come into a steadfast life (notice the word looks awfully like steady), you have to live righteously. Now, this will ultimately lead you to the next question, how do I live righteously?

Well friends, there is someone who wrote much more eloquently than I ever could on just that topic. In fact, He collected all the "how to's", "in case of emergency" and so much more into a convenient, pocket sized book. Yep. The Book of Life. The Good Book. The Bible. The ultimate guide to living a righteous life, the answer to how to live steadfastly.

I've found that as I am being pulled up and down by life's circumstances, the more I need the answer to living steadfast. The more I need to remain immovable, firmly fixed, and unwavering. Destruction will come. This is an unavoidable fact. There will also be times of great happiness and elation. In both these times of sorrow and joy, we need to remain the same in our faith. It is easy to forget God in both situations: in the good times we often feel as though we don't need God and in the bad, we often feel as though He doesn't need us.

I so desire to be steadfast. Unfortunately, God made me human and I often find myself being pulled to and fro as life circumstances happen. God keeps reminding me that in Him I can find true steadiness and that is what I must cling to: now and tomorrow.

Here's to becoming unmovable...

Until next time,
-C.

His words...

3 Send forth your light and your truth,

let them guide me;

let them bring me to your holy mountain,

to the place where you dwell.
4 Then will I go to the altar of God,

to God, my joy and my delight.

I will praise you with the harp,

O God, my God.
5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

-Psalm 43:3-5

There is a timelessness about God's word. I mean, no matter what your emotion, what your circumstance, what your issue is, there are words in the Bible that speak directly to you and your moment. Seriously. Try it sometime. Feeling down? Look at some of the Psalms. Feeling joyful? Well, you could look to some Psalms for that as well. In fact, Psalms is a good place to start no matter what your emotion. Anyway, the point is that human experience and all its frailty and triumph can be found neatly bound in virtually every language in various versions. It can even be found on your iPhone or on that electronic book thing you ordered from Amazon.com after Oprah told you that you HAD to have it.

What an amazing gift we have lying at our fingertips! We all seek to find understanding. We all seek to find others who know what we are actually talking about. We all seek to find someone or something who has experienced what we are experiencing. We all seek. Some are even blessed enough to find. The answers are often right in front of us if we just pick it up and open it.

There is hope in knowing that no matter where you are today or where you will be tomorrow, the God of the universe has already been there and back and is ready and willing to carry you through it. You just have to ask.

Here's to the answers to the questions....

Until next time,

-C.

What to do in times of crisis...

This past week, I've endured the greatest personal crisis of my life. While I am not ready to share the details with the entire www, I did want to share some things with you. I've had many friends go through times of crisis recently as well and always felt as though I didn't know what to do. Here is what I've found to be helpful and while it might not apply to everyone in every situation, it may help you help someone in their time of need:

1.) Don't ask the question, "How are you?" It is often a stupid question that makes it difficult to respond to and often times, leaves those in crisis lying and saying "fine" or "I am ok."
2.) It is ok to check in on people as long as you let them know that if they don't want phone calls or you to come over that you won't be offended if they say so. Continue to do so, even if you don't get a response. The person may just not be ready to respond yet, but it is nice to know that people are there and care for them.
3.) Allow people to feel what they feel without judgement or ridicule. People handle situations differently so allow people to handle crisis in their own way so long as it doesn't harm themselves or others.
4.) Don't tell people what to think or do in times of crisis unless they specifically ask for your opinion.
5.) Don't ask a lot of questions without first asking if they are willing to talk about the crisis. I got cornered at church yesterday with some lady who was not getting the hint that I did not care to talk about it with her. I finally told her the situation so she'd leave me alone, but felt very angry and violated that someone wouldn't stop asking me questions, especially a stranger.
6.) Do not gossip or share other's personal crisis for entertainment purposes. Even the "prayer request" can turn into a way to gossip so be weary of the amount of details you share. If you are ever in question, share less rather than more.
7.) Ask what you can specifically do. Offer what you are specifically willing to do. For instance, "Can I make you all a meal?", "Can I watch the kids for you?", etc. Sometimes saying something general may not be helpful because depending on the person they may not feel as though you are willing to help so "call me if you need anything or want to talk" may not be specific enough in helping them.
8.) Pray. Often times, that truly is the only thing one can do in times of crisis.

Everyone will go through some type of crisis at one point or another. The severity or damage done is quite relative as to each person their crisis may feel like the biggest crisis in the world, so never minimize someone else's pain. You have no clue about their experiences so what may seem like nothing to you, may be something very painful to them.

I've been surprised at people's responses to crisis. I am usually on the other end, consoling a dear friend going through something, but it has made me wonder, have I ever reacted this way? Have I ever not contacted someone who I knew was enduring a painful situation? Have I ever said the wrong things to make them feel more pain? I just pray I have not, but you never know how your actions affect other people. This is no way meant to condemn anyone, but I am just wondering about myself and if my responses to other people's crisis' have been what they needed at the time. I know from now on, I am definitely going to be more aware as to what people may need in times of heartache.

Here's to learning something new....

Until next time,
-C.

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
Psalm 71:20

Crushed in Spirit

"The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;

he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

-Psalm 34:17-18

Have you ever been "crushed in spirit"? I think that is such a fantastic description of a phase we all endure at one time or another. That sensation of having your inner most self completely broken. I look around this world and I see that so many of us are truly crushed in spirit, brokenhearted and in need of deliverance.

Sometimes this brokenness comes in a wave, a period of time, a momentary existence, but for some, this is a constant, a way of life. To live crushed in spirit, is to live a way that we were never meant to be. We were never meant to live with such brokenness that was swayed by our daily circumstances. We were meant to live in victory. I know it is a terrible cliche of a Christian term, but it is truth. We were meant to be more than conquerors of our day to day drama.

My heart aches for those who have not learned that they can live through even the toughest stuff in life with a sense of victory, a sense of joy, a sense of peace and a sense of restoration. The saddest part is that I know and love people who live crushed in spirit on a daily basis. I myself sometimes forget that I too have the Creator of the Universe close to my broken heart, and saving my crushed spirit. I have a deliverer in the midst of the terrible. That alone should make us all leap for joy and to become whole again.

Here is to the King of the brokenhearted...

Until next time,

-C.

Jonah

1 From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the LORD his God. 2 He said:
"In my distress I called to the LORD,
and he answered me.
From the depths of the grave [a] I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
3 You hurled me into the deep,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.
4 I said, 'I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.'
5 The engulfing waters threatened me, [b]
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
6 To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you brought my life up from the pit,
O LORD my God.
7 "When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, LORD,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.
8 "Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
9 But I, with a song of thanksgiving,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
Salvation comes from the LORD."
10 And the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

I may have posted this before, but God keeps bringing back to the prayer Jonah prayed from inside the whale. When you look at it closely, you will see it is not a prayer for deliverance, but a prayer of thanksgiving. Thanksgiving in the midst of a storm and despair.

Here's to thanksgiving...

Until next time,
-C.

The storms...

Several years ago, I watched Jeremy Camp (a Christian rock singer) give his testimony. If you don't know his story, Jeremy fell in love with and married a woman who was dying of cancer. I don't remember all the details, but she eventually went home to be with the Lord. What struck me most about Jeremy's story is that he talked about the moment she passed. As he sat next to her bed and her last breath was exhaled, God told Jeremy to lift his hands and praise God in that moment. In his moment of loss and mourning, Jeremy was obedient to what God told him. I always come back to that thought: praising God in moments of darkness or pain. Can I do it? Will I do it? I always wonder if it is possible.

God has been really working on this with me lately. He keeps bringing it up in my life and in my time with Him. Today, I read "Utmost for His Highest" and it too talked about the concept of praising God in the midst of life's storms. I couldn't help but wonder why...why does God call us to this seemingly unnatural response to life's difficulties? Perhaps the answer lies in the question. Perhaps the reason is because it is unnatural, it is not of this world. The world tells us to sulk in our pain. The world tells us we can use our pain as an excuse for any future actions. The world tells us that we don't need to take responsibility for ourselves if we have hurts. But, if we truly know the creator of this universe, we can know that although pain may come, we can be more than conquerors of our earthly troubles...let me say that again, we can be more than conquerors (Romans 8:37). Do you know how incredible that is to do more than just conquer the obstacles we face?

Life is throwing storms my way right now, devastatingly big ones. But, amazingly for the first time, I feel as though I am learning to praise God during this time. This song by Casting Crowns has been playing in my mind lately and I think it sums up what we are to do in times of hurricanes, lightning, and other "natural" disasters in our lives:
"I was sure by now
God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"
-Casting Crowns "Praise You in This Storm"

Here's to praising Him in the storms...

Until next time-
-C.

Take heart...

There are many faces of adversity in our lives. Sometimes in can come from the actions of another, from an unkind word or from a closed door. Sometimes it can come at a time when all else seems to be fallen into place. Discouragement through adversity is the Devil's greatest form of encouragement for him to keep pursuing your mind, your heart, and your soul. Once he has stepped into your thoughts, and encouraged feelings of doubt, he's got ya! And as long as you let 'em, he is going to hold on to your mind, taking the truths you know and twisting them ever so slightly to maintain his grip and keeping you from God's peace and truth.

God knew that we'd have these attacks. He knew that as we sought to be righteous ones, filled with His spirit, that there would be a force acting upon our hearts and minds, desiring to take away that pursuit. He knew it and He warned us. He knew that a direct result of this force is weariness.

He tells us about this potential attack when we are doing good:
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

He tells us about this potential attack when we are entangled in sin:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12: 1-3


He promised us that in our weariness, His power will increase. He told us that no matter our age or our strength, we will need His renewal in times of being weary:
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31

The dictionary defines weariness as being "physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc." Let's face it, choosing to live your life for the Lord, is hard work. It is a lot easier to give into our natural temptations and desires than to choose to live according to His Word. It is a lot easier to be plagued with worry and depression than it is to trust in the Lord with all your heart. The Bible makes analogies to Christians being marathon runners, soldiers, and farmers. None of those jobs are by any stretch of the imagination easy...they all require work, strength, endurance, and an ability to realize what the ultimate goal or result will be. We have to fixate our eyes on what that ultimate result will be in times when we feel weary. There is a reward awaiting us. There is a glorious finishline. There is a God who desires to "renew our strength" in times of weariness and allow us to soar!!!

It is true. We will face times of adversity and times of weariness... but there is a great hope in knowing that the God of the universe knows oh too well what we are experiencing:
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Thank God for that!

Here is to soaring, when you can barely walk...

Until next time-
-C.

A blink of an eye...

So, I know I promised no more of the melancholy...but it is the season I find myself in. Today, I got a call from one of my best friend's telling me her mother had chosen to end her life. There were no signs, no warnings, no red flags. Not one of the people in her inmost circle knew she was feeling depressed, let alone contemplating such an act.

Blink.

Last week, a friend's water broke during her 25th week of pregnancy. She is on bedrest indefinitely until the birth of the baby.

Blink.

About a month ago, a "second mother" of mine was bending down to pick something up, when a blood vessel burst in her head, almost taking her life in an instant.

Blink.

Almost 5 years ago, my cousin's husband was killed while driving home from the gym when a deer ramed into the driver's side of his car. She was on bedrest, pregnant with their third child when she got the news.

Blink.

That is all it takes. One...single...blink. And life changes. It seems like things are crumbling in lives around me...people's lives are changing forever in the course of a single moment. I keep asking God, what am I supposed to be learning from all of this? They are not my tragedies, but I still feel as though they are. But, maybe that is the point, to make other's tragedies our own by feeling with them, while remaining hopeful of purpose, of meaning, and of one day, gaining understanding. I remain hopeful in the old addage that "everything happens for a reason." I remain hopeful in the Christian cliche that "God is in control." And I remain cognizant of the fact that all it takes is one blink for our lives to change forever.

Don't wait for the blink, find your hope now....

Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength,an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
8 Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields [b] with fire.
10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
11 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Tomorrow, I am leaving for a weekend trip with my husband and daughter. We are going to make the most of every moment so that if we do ever have to blink, all we will see will be beautiful memories.

Here's to the stillness in knowing He is still God in the aftermath of a blink...

Until next time...
-C.